It occurred to me as I went to bed last night that yesterday had passed without any fat incidents whatsoever. Not a single one. No dark thoughts about what I wanted to eat but couldn’t because I was on a diet. No pre-occupation at the mid afternoon point as to where I might source a handful of inappropriate snacks, and no debating with myself when I got home from my swim as to whether I should or shouldn’t spend the calories I’d earned.
I wonder if that’s what life feels like for a normal person? Someone whose life doesn’t actually revolve around food. I mean generally, if I’m not eating I’m at least thinking about where my next food opportunity is coming from. Yesterday I even passed up a decent supper in favour of boiled eggs and toast because I was heading to the pool and I just wanted something light. Hello?? That’s a first.
I reckon it’s because I’ve gotten past those first few days of re-booted focus, where the feeling of being deprived all over again makes me hyper-likely to be lured into an ambush by the Asshole voice, you know? We all know that once he’s got me cornered the odds of me being led by the nose directly into the path of trouble increase tenfold.
As day one reduces to a pin-prick in my rear-view mirror, it’s much harder for him to present me with a decent argument as to why starting again tomorrow is a good idea. It’s not. And without my sugar-goggles, I can see that with much more clarity. Today marks fifteen days of food sobriety, and I’ve gone the whole hog by cutting out refined sugar altogether.
That’s such a killer for the first few days. My head deploys every trick in the book to convince me that it’s not necessary. That I can manage perfectly well and lose weight just as effectively with sugar in my life and you know what, for the first eighteen months of my journey towards Skinny Town I did. The difference isn’t in the number on the scale, it’s about how easily I’m able to put the Asshole voice on mute.
You know how in winter, when you wake up and it’s been snowing overnight? You open the door and the world feels quieter somehow, like the blanket of snow has muted all the noise. Well, when I stop eating refined sugar it feels exactly the same. Once I’m over the initial panic and my head accepts that sugar has left the building, it seems to get behind the idea completely and throws a blanket over all the noise about food. Inside my head, after two weeks without refined sugar it’s quiet enough to hear a mouse fart in the next county.
I’m past the hard bit now, and free to focus on the important stuff. I’m determined to hit 215lbs by Christmas and I feel like I have a fighting chance. My mail bag tells me that more than a few of you have already got your eyes on Christmas and you’re on a mission to hit the next size down, just like me…come on, we can totally do this!
