Tag Archives: food sober

Five More To Low

In the here & now, ,

Do you know what I realised yesterday, as I sashayed out of the bathroom after another positive encounter with the Shitbird Scale? I’ve only got 5lbs to go before I’m back down to the lowest weight I achieved last year, you know right before I lost my way and started dicking around? The last time I weighed in at 250lbs was right back at the beginning of October when I was on my way back up the scale from my lowest weight on this journey, at 245lbs. I’ve got to be honest, I’m on a mission. I want those five pounds out of my pants in the next two weeks.

My friend got a massive fit of the giggles last night when we talked about the monster I’ve created by posting my conversation with the Shitbird Scale on here every Sunday…almost two hundred and fifty people logged on and checked out my weigh-in page yesterday. I mean that’s just mind-blowing, right? How could I possibly put a foot wrong, when so many of you take time out of your day to keep a watching brief on my journey, and check-in especially just to audit my number?

I live in fear that the scale is going to throw a hissy fit and move in the wrong direction one week, it would kill me to post that. Can you even imagine..? It’s bound to happen one of these days but I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. There’s literally nowhere to hide…I’ll tell you what though, as an accountability tool it’s a stroke of genius.

I took a big step when I did the supermarket run yesterday. Ladies and Gentlemen, there’s chocolate in the house again. I know. It’s been a chocolate-free zone ever since the beginning of this year when I had to acknowledge that the diet had gone completely tits up and I more or less started again . My food sobriety felt too fragile to even think about allowing that kind of stuff over the threshold, and bless him, my boy has been incredibly supportive given that he has a massive sweet tooth. But it never really felt okay to me, banishing everything on the naughty list from the house, you know? I know it’s okay to be selfish sometimes but at the end of the day, he lives here too.

I had to do it to get back on track, but this deep down shift in the way I’m feeling about stuff lately means I’m ready. I no longer worry that I’ll be ambushed by a packet of hob-nobs as I cross the kitchen to reach the fruit bowl…I feel strong, and more committed to my food plan than ever so it seemed like the right time to man up and lift the ban. The naughty cupboard once again contains some of his favourite goodies, and I’m not bothered by it one little bit. And yes I know that this could change in a heartbeat but honestly, I don’t believe it will.

This is day sixty four, and nothing’s knocking me off track. My girly weekend is just around the corner but I’m planning to take extraordinary care in the few days running up to it so I can make my food plan work for me. I’m on a roll here and I’m not even slightly stressed about how I’ll juggle everything…I just know that I will 🙂

 

 

 

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Three Months A Blog

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, Reflections on past times, , , ,

3mCan you believe it’s three whole months since that rainy post-holiday Saturday when I sat down and flexed my fingers over the keyboard for the very first time. That’s a quarter of a whole year!! Crikey it feels like we’ve walked miles together since then don’t you think..? I just mooched a couple of hours away this morning by working my way through all the blog posts I’ve written, and of course all your comments which for me, are a constant source of pride and inspiration.

It’s the first time I’ve really properly looked back – I mean I know I’m the queen of edit, often before you get to see my daily dollop of words they’ve spent a few days simmering in the cooking pot and it’s rare that they escape onto the page without having been chopped and changed, pulled apart and put back together again until I’m as happy as I’m ever going to be – that’s just the perfectionist in me. I know I need to get over myself but I just want it to be good you know? Asshole is chipping in here with the words control freak by the way, just thought I’d share that 🙂

I never edit after they’re published, in fact once they’re out there I tend not to read them again, focusing instead on what you write, and of course what’s coming up next. But what I noticed as I’ve worked my way through every post from the beginning, including your bits was how much it’s evolved over a relatively short period of time. I didn’t really imagine this would ever be anything more than a self-propelled written conscience, perhaps with an occasional visitor who’d more than likely wandered in by mistake and politely passed the time of day before moving on. But look what we turned into!

There weren’t many comments in the early days, but the ones I got were treasured. I read and re-read them…I wondered about the person who’d written them. Where they lived, what their story was you know? I wondered what had led them to my blog, and what had prompted them to leave their own footprint on it by chipping in with thoughts of their own. I still do that now. Looking back, I can see where some of our familiar names fell into step and started to really build this community and now, I just feel quite humbled by the way it’s gathered it’s own momentum and become a thing, you know?

I love the way we all relate – all of our stories are similar and yet different. Wherever in the world we happen to live, we’re all unique as individuals, but connected. United in this fight against the fat suits we somehow managed to get ourselves zipped into. In the back office at Skinny Girl HQ – aka my kitchen ha ha – I can look at the analytics tool which shows me how many visitors I’ve had, and which posts they’ve visited, and I get a massive blast of inner sunshine when I see a new visitor has somehow landed on the latest post, and stuck around to have a really good root around lots of the older stuff.  And when someone writes and says they’ve laughed, or cried, or felt supported or understood by something that one of us has written or shared, well that’s the best feeling of all.

So anyway…my name’s Dee and I’m a food addict. But I am 3 months clean and sober, mainly down to you guys. It’s never easy, but so far, this route to Skinny Town is proving to be way more enjoyable than I could have hoped for, and a million miles away from the boulder-strewn paths I’ve been used to navigating in the past…that has to be the posse factor, right?

Happy anniversary, I appreciate your company more than I can tell you…big hugs all around 🙂

 

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