Category Archives: Freeform thoughts

Shopping Up A Storm

Freeform thoughts, ,

piggy

So I had several friends yesterday who did battle with the post-Christmas sales so they could snap up some bargains. Me, I love the idea of it, and God knows I love a good deal but the reality of joining thousands of other bargain hunters in the annual bunfight is just something I can’t contemplate. I mean, if they’d be happy to open up the store an hour before everyone else and let me quietly swan around picking off all the good stuff, well I’d be all over that…sadly I wasn’t born to that life.

But I did want to grab a bargain of my own…I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been mooching on line for a few weeks hoping to spot an exercise bike. I have to get fit this year if I’m going to conquer those mountains in Cuba and I sort of know that’s not going to happen of it’s own accord so I’ve been keeping my eyes open you know, for a bargain. I’ve trawled eBay and other similar resale sites and nothing’s really come up so I thought I’d chance my arm in the on-line January sales.

Now I approached this particular bargain hunt with extreme caution. For those of you who have read my ‘Exercise In The Home’ blog post from way back in August, you’ll understand my propensity for getting totally carried away in the moment, and buying something that isn’t what I think it is, and which has a lifetime use of zilch. I’m thinking of the treadmill that wasn’t a treadmill and the power plate in particular, but over the years there have been many. They come, they go. They get assembled, admired, occasionally dusted but rarely used. Not this time…this time is different.

Let’s recap. I wanted a cheap exercise bike, to help me get fit. Is that what I bought..? No of course that’s not what I fucking bought, that would be way too easy, right? What I bought was a state of the art elliptical cross trainer. Yes, I’m shaking my head right along with you. FFS!

So let me try and explain, as much for my benefit as yours because as of right now I’ve woken up and put myself in the doghouse. As part of my cautious approach (stop laughing) I wanted to do my homework. So I had a look on line at what kind of equipment gives you a good all over workout, helps to build stamina, doesn’t put too much strain on your joints, all that good stuff.

To be honest, the exercise bike idea came pretty low down the table. Great for legs, and good cardio but not too hot on upper body, and the bingo wings wouldn’t even get a look in. So I started mooching more widely and the general consensus was that an elliptical cross-trainer would tick pretty much all boxes. Right then…I’ll get me one of them. A cheap one.

Apparently, the cheap ones are perfectly fine for servicing a skinny string bean who doesn’t weigh more than a helium balloon. If you have so much as one toe in sumo it’s a different story. Seemingly, to avoid it all going horribly wrong and ending up tangled in a machine that’s collapsed around you as you work up a sweat, you have to spend more. A fair bit more as it turns out. Ker-ching!

On reflection, I’m slowly inching my way out of the doghouse. It’s an investment in my commitment to this journey and to the longer term abolition of these bingo wings which have to be tucked into my sleeves on a daily basis. Yes, I could have bought an annual membership to a fancy gym for the same money, but I don’t think I could make that fit into my life. I’m time poor, and there’s no sense in setting myself up to fail.

It’s going to look ridiculous in my bedroom, a big shiny steel monster amongst the shabby chic of patchwork, stone and beams, but I can fall out of bed and get at it before I shower in the morning. Crap. I’m going to hate it aren’t I? But you know what, that’s ok…I’m mentally preparing myself. I’ve no doubt that I will wear my very best ‘bulldog chewing a wasp’ face as I get to grips with it and I’m pretty sure I’ll turn the air blue by effing and jeffing on a daily basis. At first. But I’m going to make damned sure this one doesn’t end up as a clothes stand. That’s my promise to myself, and you all heard me, right?

It gets delivered sometime next week…I’m excited with a touch of trepidation but 2016 starts here, and I’m ready 🙂

Like it..? Tell your friends!
 

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

Freeform thoughts, ,

stocking

Twas the night before Christmas, the cupboards were bare,

the food shop is looming, but why should I care?

I can’t eat the good stuff, the stuff that I crave,

‘cos I’ve promised the posse that I will behave 🙁

The Asshole is laughing, he’s biding his time,

he thinks he’ll persuade me to slip into crime.

I admit it, I’m sulking, my thoughts are not good,

as I think of the things I would eat if I could.

I want cheese balls and ice cream, pralines and cream,

pigs in their blankets, and stuffing supreme.

I’m madder than mad, that the size of my arse

means for this year, and next year my plate will be sparse.

My stocking is empty of chocolate and treats,

in light of the fact that I’m pounding the streets.

to remove all this blubber that covers my bum,

and break out the string bean that I shall become.

It SUCKS that on Christmas I have to be good,

but that’s what I promised to do, if I could.

And do it I will, have no fear of that!

(just forgive me for being a grumpy old twat.)

I’ll scowl at the chocolate, and snarl at the pud,

Stick to lean stuff and green stuff and do what I should.

And after it’s over I’ll grin like a fool

That the Asshole was beaten, and I’m still cool 🙂

Have an awesome Christmas everyone…to my occasional readers, my regular lurkers and all of you who join in the chatter on a daily basis, I couldn’t walk this path on my own so I’m sending lots of love to you all with grateful thanks for your glorious company xxx

holly

Like it..? Tell your friends!
 

Who, Us?

Freeform thoughts,

robinA strange thing happened yesterday – it all started when I received an email from a very nice lady, saying how much she’d enjoyed reading the blog post on My Fifty Year Fitness Goal, and then asking my advice on a few health-related matters. Now, I can only speak for myself but that’s one of the reasons I love hanging out with you guys….I ask a question and you lot rally around with assorted answers, or one of you asks a question and either me or another one of the posse tries to find a nugget of wisdom to suit the occasion.

I almost flexed my fingers to consult Doctor Google and pass his encyclopaedic knowledge off as my own before throwing her questions out to you guys, but before I did, my thoughts turned to wondering what had led this lady to come knocking on our door for advice. I mean I know we have a few wise old owls in the posse, and between us we’ve been around the dieting block more than a few times but I don’t think any of us would class ourselves as experts in healthy living, right? We’re just all doing the best we can.

So, curiosity piqued, just call me Sherlock, after a bit of clicking left and right it turns out this lady was from a bona fide medical company, you know, with proper doctors and everything. They seem like a friendly bunch – I’ve put a link on my ‘interesting stuff’ page in case any of you need a band aid over the holidays – and they’re getting into the festive spirit by canvassing ideas from as many people as possible about how to stay healthy over the Christmas period so they can have a bit of fun on-line. And obviously our posse are right up there at the top of their list of folk to ask. *Puffs chest out with pride, of course we are, we KNOW stuff!*

How about I start us off..? My best piece of advice is don’t accidentally lick the tip of a 12v battery. I did that once – and before you ask no, I have absolutely no idea why – and straight up singed the hair inside my nose. For a split second I was literally battery powered and my nose didn’t stop stinging for three days. I suspect I still have a bald patch inside my left nostril, so best avoid that if you want to stay fit and healthy.

My second piece of advice is, if it looks slippy outside and you’ve just watched someone execute a triple salchow worthy of an Olympic score of 10 on their way to post a letter, don’t think that nipping over the road to the postbox with your own last minute Christmas cards will be incident free. I’m here to tell you it won’t be. And jumping up quickly before anyone sees you is by no means a guarantee that this time you’re going to stay on your feet for longer than the blink of an eye. I can vouch for that too.

So, posse…over to you. It’s time to gift-wrap those nuggets of wisdom and show the world what wise old beans we really are. Old family recipes which ward off lurgy? Tried and tested methods of shaking off aches and pains..? A strategy to lessen the impact of all those festive excesses, or best hangover cure known to man…whatever words of sage advice you might have to see our virtual compadres through a happy and healthy holiday season, wheel ’em out…the floor is yours 🙂

Like it..? Tell your friends!
 

In For A Penny…

Freeform thoughts, , ,

kitten lion

So you know I said I was going to find a longer term fitness challenge..? I knew I’d find the perfect thing if I was patient. I wanted it to be something I have plenty of time to plan and prepare for, something really challenging but do-able. I need to be able to get fit enough to be 100% confident I’ll achieve it, and I wanted it to be something so awesome that I would always remember it. A defining moment you know?

Quite a lot of you have reached out to suggest things, and you know what, I might do a couple of race for life events as a way of building up my endurance and stamina, although I have to manage your expectations up front and say there’ll be less racing and more red-faced sweaty walking going on, depending on when they take place. After my two and a half mile walk on Saturday I feel like someone’s run me over with a truck but I’m quietly pleased with the way I pushed through my aches and pains when I took Charlie dog out yesterday afternoon…we even did the long circuit much to his delight.

I’ve also had a couple of offers to head on over the pond and participate in some local events, all of which I’d love to do at some point…imagine that, the former fat girl’s world fitness tour 🙂 But first, listen… I’ve found it. I’ve found the thing I’m going to do. I’ve already thrown my hat into the ring, registered my interest and I’m just waiting to find out whether my application has been accepted. And I’m so psyched about it…I’ll be on pins until January when I find out. But I can’t afford to wait…I need to start planning my approach.

So…want to know what it is..?

If my application is accepted, in October 2016 I’ll be completing a 90km trek over five days, from Havana across the Escambray mountain range to Trinidad in central Cuba. It’s the kind of challenge I never dared to imagine would be possible on a personal level, and I’m also hoping to raise a wedge of money for my chosen charity.

I should perhaps point out that right at this moment, the asshole in my mind has keeled over, laughing hysterically and in between snorts of derision is busy trying to tell me that it’s impossible – and I’ve got to be honest, if I really sit and think about it, fuck me it’s a big ask. In the next nine months I need to lose at least 70lbs, and build up enough stamina to be able to trek roughly 18km per day over some big-assed hills. I’m more scared about having to sleep in a tent than I can tell you…without blowing my own trumpet I’d make a lovely supper for a dingo, and besides that they have spiders the size of tanks in Cuba. I mean talk about in for a penny, in for a pound. But you know what, I can do it.

I’ll still be 60lbs too heavy for my frame at that point, but if I’ve given it everything I’ve got in nine months of training, I’ll have a reasonable level of fitness, and when I get back I’ll be on the home stretch on that journey to Skinny Town, right? It’s a massive thing, and right now I’m getting carried along by excitement, terror and pure blind faith that things will work out ok.

So, posse…what do you think..? Do you reckon I can do it..?

Like it..? Tell your friends!
 

Reframing My Perspective

Freeform thoughts, ,

perspective

I’ve always thought that perspective is a mystical thing. It captivates me how two people can look at one thing, whether that’s a picture, an object or even just a situation, and see two completely different things. And the view of the two people next to them would be different again. How can that even happen..? It’s like anything else to do with the human condition…an endless source of fascination. You may have come across this picture before…do you see the elegant young lady looking over the right hand shoulder of her fur coat, or do you see the wizened old lady with a pointy chin and sad eyes..?

I’m less clear what it says about us as individuals depending on which one we see first, but I do know that seeing both perspectives is easier when you’ve studied it awhile, or maybe if someone shows you a different way of looking at it. Some people can only ever see the one angle. And that’s pretty reflective of the way people see the world too. We’re all different.

My perspective varies depending on the way I’m feeling about two things; how much my eating is in or out of control, and how fat or skinny I am. I’m not talking about the picture now, I’m talking about the way I see things around me, and the way I interpret situations. I could look at the same challenge, and evaluate my ability to overcome it in two completely different ways depending on my perspective in that moment.

Let me give you an example. You all know I’m rooted firmly in this sweet spot where my diet is concerned, right? I’ve got a lot of skin in the game since my last bad food decision – I’ve been dieting for exactly four months and although I switched food plans, and I’ve done a little creative points allocation here and there to accommodate life, I’ve never stepped off the path. Not once.

And the fact that I haven’t, means I’m not likely to, you know? I feel strong, and as though I can go toe to toe with any food challenge which comes my way, and ace it. My four months’ worth of skinny choices is the anchor which is keeping me in the sweet spot. But let’s just imagine that this weekend I blew it, with the intention of getting back in the game on Monday.

Come Monday, I’d have no skin in the game since my last bad food decision…I’d be starting again with a clean sheet. No anchor. And without the anchor, my perspective on all of it is different. It’s much easier to think oh go on then…I’ll start again tomorrow…or Monday, yes that’s it I’ll start again on Monday.

So how cool would it be, if we could re-frame our perspective and use that to wrestle control back over what we do and how we feel? I was reading an article a few days ago about re-programming cellular memory as a way of reducing anxiety, and I wonder if we might be able to bend the concept a bit and see whether it would work as a tool in our collective kit-bag.

Go with me on this one ok?

Imagine it’s a Monday, and on the Sunday you’d fallen out of the naughty tree and hit every branch on the way down, I mean I’m talking big-time naughty…full english breakfast, big old sunday lunch followed by sticky toffee pudding, and then crumpets with lashings of butter for tea. So it’s Monday and you wake up feeling like crap knowing you blew it yesterday.

What if, you could lay there and walk your way through yesterday in your mind, but substitute the memory of those naughty meals with skinny choices. If you were able to imagine how those grapefruit segments in natural juice tasted so sweet and sharp on your tongue at breakfast time. How the lean fillet steak and light-roasted vegetables tasted at lunchtime, and how you weren’t really hungry at tea time so you had a nice skinny latte with a couple of crackers later in the day.

How effective do you think that would be, with a bit of practice, in terms of re-framing your perspective on how well the food plan is going, and how strong you are?

I’m curious, as to whether it might work. I mean, we’d need to exercise caution…if it works, the asshole in my mind would be all over it, encouraging me to throw caution to the wind today because tomorrow I can fool my head into thinking I’ve been good and we wipe the slate clean. But as a concept, for emergency slip-ups only it might be worth a shot, as a way of getting our head back in the game quickly.

What do you think..? Shall we have a go..? First one to slip on a banana skin over the holidays gives it a shot and reports back so the posse can pick over the bones and decide whether it’s in or out of the toolkit?

Like it..? Tell your friends!