So, my apologies to those of you who diligently follow the Shitbird chronicles on a Sunday, all our updates were late yesterday and it was my fault. Kayleigh and Nic both weighed in first thing, and sent me their pictures, but I buggered the system up by insisting that I couldn’t possibly get weighed until I’d had a poo.
Except it didn’t happen. It’s been a few days to be honest, and I feel like crap if you’ll pardon the pun. Really sluggish and bloated, you know? It’s my own fault, my menu choices continue with one foot in sensible and the other in la-la-la not listening…and I know I’m not drinking enough water.
If you’re squeamish about poo stories you might want to give this post a wide berth. I did try my very best, first thing yesterday. I sat and contemplated life for a good half an hour but nice as it was to shut myself in the bathroom with just Charlie-dog for company (he refuses to wait outside and likes to jump in the bath and drink from the tap whilst I’m otherwise engaged) it was a fruitless exercise.
I tried drinking three coffees in quick succession – that normally helps. I was wired, but still nothing. I ate a decent breakfast, on the basis that if everything’s already backed up, more food coming in might result in a bit of exit action, right? Nope.
So then I figured I’d practise a bit of reverse psychology with my own nether regions. Instead of trying everything in my repertoire to persuade my body to give up…well, you know, I made an heroic attempt to ignore the fact that it needed to. Pottered around with everything clenched and refused to try. Well that backfired a bit because even the urge went away and the net result was no news to report.
So I had to hop aboard the Shitbird Scale last night with what feels like a belly full of concrete. Under the circumstances, I was relieved at only a pound and a half on. I don’t think it’s really on, as such…for whatever reason, I think my body’s holding onto everything I’ve eaten since probably last Wednesday or Thursday. But be fair, that’s more than a bit.
I had a great weekend with my friends, despite having to cut our girly time short by a day on account of the snow which Mother Nature kindly dumped on the doorstep of where we were staying. Foxy Lodge is in the middle of nowhere, and watching the news today it was definitely the right decision to head home, we would’ve been stranded there until at least midweek otherwise.
Whilst we were away I ate good stuff and naughty stuff. We had cocktails at breakfast time on Friday, followed by lots of prosecco in the hot tub surrounded by snow but there was really only one day of utter carnage on account of us coming home earlier than planned. It could’ve been worse. And I had an absolute ball, relaxing and chilling out with my besties and laughing my ass off. It’s done me the world of good and you know what, at the end of the day that’s what matters.
I’ve decided to go back to Weight Watchers…they’ve brought a new plan out and everyone’s raving about it. I often find trying something new helps me tune out the asshole voice when he’s spending way too much time in the driving seat. In the past, switching it up has really helped me to re-focus. Lord only knows I need to. I didn’t get my shit together yesterday, so I’m starting it today.
Two weeks before Christmas. Yeah, I know…that’s what I thought too. But I refuse to hand over the next two weeks to food fuckery without a fight, you know? I could take seven pounds off before the holidays with a strong wind behind me and if it’s not coming off, it’s likely to be going on, and I’m not sitting back and letting that happen. I can’t.
For those of you who follow Weight Watchers I’d be interested to know what you think of the new freestyle programme…? 🙂
I’m excited with your decision! The new plan is great – much more flexible – and I think you’ll really find success and FREEDOM with it. I’m barely a week in and haven’t had a weigh in yet but it feels easier and I’m feeling full. And I got through the weekend with no weeklies used because I just didn’t need them – so many proteins are zero points now that you can really fill up quite a bit of your day. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Thanks Beth! I’m quite excited now…I’ve just been shopping and stocked up so I’m ready to go!
Oh my but you make me laugh!! Feels like you took the story right from my life! Been waiting since Friday here! Cashews help sometimes, but sadly no points for them! Make have to fit them in if something doesn’t happen soon though! Glad you laughed with your besties….that really does such a world of good! I think you will like the new WW!
I think I’m going to Michelle…I’m a boomerang member of Weight Watchers, I keep going back but it works so go figure! Still no news to report and I swear my fecking eyes are starting to bulge! I hope you’re doing better than me 🙂
I had a similar day yesterday with food fuckery and not having a bm. What finely worked for me was getting up and doing my walk and guzzling some water. Today it is back to my regularly scheduled eats.
Yesterday marked the 13th anniversary of my moms passing which, tends to be a day of remembrance and some sadness.Today is a new day time to move on.
I think water is the kay isn’t it? I’m going to make a concerted effort to drunk 2L every day. I hope you enjoyed some lovely memories of your mom xx
Not an immediate solution but Ive hstarted to take a probiotic a day and it has helped prevent the old back up! 💩
Ive started the new WW Flex. It is similar but different to the last one. I think it is the time of year but my losing is a little slower.
I’m looking forward to getting my head around it 😊 this time of year is one long test of resilience isn’t it?!
I wish I could sleep December away!!
Oh Lord me too Maryann!!
I have never eagerly awaited another persons- urm- movements in my entire life, haha! We’re all rooting for you, loo wise and for the rest of this wild journey too 🙂 x
Ha, thanks Kayles! I can’t believe I’ve shared my ablutions – or lack of – across the globe. I have no filter!! 🙄
Hahahaha – Oh yeah. No mistake, we are the sisters of the road to Skinny: we all have thoughts, strategies, awareness of [ahem] our guts, verging on fixation. Gee, your devil bitch scale was not that implacable, considering. You’re alive, Kid, you are in it, congrats.
More than 8 uninvited pounds are taking up residence again in my pants too. I gotta rethink my gonfarnned food tactics,. More power to you.
Ah Fleury it’s our third Christmas travelling this road together! This time next year I’m sure we’ll have our shit together 🤣
Not much advice, just hoping something moves soon.
Thanks Mimi…me too!
It’s been a long time since I’ve done weight watchers, what is the new plan all about?
I’m pretty, ahem, regular, but one thing that always gets things going is a few slices of jalapeno (in a Mexican meal, not by themselves!) or anything spicy. Irritates the bowel lining or something. Not necessarily pleasant, morning after, but does the job.
Ha! Thanks Natalie I’ll bear that in mind 🙂