It occurred to me this week that we’ve stumbled into Spring, and I didn’t even notice. There are lambs in the fields and the clocks have gone forward…it’s light when I leave for work and when I come home, and I even managed two commutes this week without wearing a coat. I know, right?
It’s time for a bit of a spring clean I think. More importantly, it’s time for a bit of a wardrobe clear-out. I’ve got to hold my hands up and admit that since my arse commenced its steady march down the sizes, I may have treated myself to the odd thing here or there. Says the queen of understatement. Yes okay whatever, you caught me with a smoking credit card. It’s hard not to get carried away with yourself though, at the prospect of being able to buy nice stuff for the first time in years. My wardrobe is groaning.
I’ve got to be honest, this time of year has been known to fill me with dread. I always struggled with the transition from winter wardrobe (black pants, shapeless swingy stretchy top) to spring wardrobe (black pants, shapeless swingy stretchy top) to summer wardrobe (black pants, shapeless swingy stretchy top). It felt like the whole world except me ditched anything black in favour of floaty fabrics and linens in lovely spring-like colours.
I’m only halfway through my weight-loss journey, in fact I’m not quite halfway. I’m almost there. I’m seventy eight pounds down and I’ve got ninety seven pounds left to lose, so obviously I’m nowhere near Skinny Town yet, but I do have a toe in the suburbs. I’m no longer required to shop only in fat-girl stores for one thing. Normal shops for normal people now stock a size I can wear, and trust me when I say I’ve taken full advantage of that.
I’m still doing that weird thing though, where I’m buying a size smaller that I really need. And I’m buying way too much stuff. I know that. I keep telling myself that I’m only passing through this size so chill my fucking boots and just have a few essential wardrobe staples but it’s like all my willpower is being used up in the food department and there’s none whatsoever left over to maintain control of what I’m spending on clothes.
The irony of all that of course, is that I’m still not happy with how most of it looks. I’ve gone from pulling on those shapeless stretchy tops and avoiding eye contact with the mirror, to pulling stuff on then obsessing in front of the mirror, twisting this way and that to try and make sure that whatever I’ve put on doesn’t show off my back fat, or my spectacular muffin top, or that it covers enough of my arse to quash those wicked rumours that my rear view looks like puppies fighting in a sack whenever I take a step.
Is it just me?
I keep telling myself that I’ll feel happier when I get to the next size down, or the next. I wish I could make my fucking mind up, you know? I’m much happier now than I was, of course I am. And I do have some stuff that I like wearing because I know it flatters my shape and hides all of the above, but going back to the wardrobe thing, clothes which are too big, new clothes that are too small yet and stuff that fits me now that I like or that I like but won’t wear for all the reasons I’ve talked about are all squashed into one place.
I’ve also got some stuff in storage from my last attempt at getting skinny and I’m sure some of it was the size I’m wearing now, which I haven’t fit into for at least the last five years and probably longer. Don’t get me wrong, most of it’s probably a crime against fashion by now because it’s a few years since it saw the light of day and the world has moved on, but I should really go and dig all that out too for a good root through. It’s definitely time for a sort out.
Looks like that’s my weekend taken care of. Have a good one y’all 🙂
I hate hate hate clothes shopping… skinny or mid size (now) or when I was bigger even less… I tend to just grab 3 or 4 of whatever is on the Costco clothes table ….. Congrats on the 78 pounds gone so far (((((hugs)))))
Thanks Karla! On line shopping is the way forward!! ?
Enjoy cleaning out your closet, it’s always nice to be able to get rid of stuff that’s too big!
Isn’t it Mimi! I made a start last night and I already feel better!
Hey, You… I’m loving this post.
Let me point out two things: self-control in the shoppes, is -overrated. You (& you & you & I) have done the compulsory economies already! For YEARS while there was little choice and no encouragement, we just wore the basics, camouflage – oy! don’t get me started. And, the shopping, & the garments are CERTAINLY needed as a gauge of your continuing transformation, so so necessary when your self-vision is unreliable. Then, feeling good, eating good, looking hmmm, wow is that me? it is good for the journey, good for the soul.
LET’S NOT fall victim to any misplaced puritan second-guessing here!
I stopped myself
Hello gorgeous, I’ve missed you! And you’re right Fleury, after years in the fashion wilderness I guess we earned the right to over-indulge, right?!
yes, ma’am! We have. I read & commiserate all all all th time. aloha
heh – screedus non-sequitur! When the scale & the sizes were in motion, to my amazement & delight, I was drawn to newish fashionable looks that were absolutely massively inappropriate for my age & lifestyle. Too funny. “I stopped myself,” about half the time! Go for some gusto, gang. Even if I’ll have to donate along a couple of unwise splashy adolescent picks. LOL
🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh dear, it’s like you’ve echoed my life here! I also think all the self control I exercise in the food department has been lost in the buying clothes department…I have hit a major stall in weight loss, but when that scale was moving down steadily and I moved from only big girl sizes to regular sizes, albeit still large or extra large, oh boy did I take advantage! And still…I try it on, and see only the flubber that’s still there. But I’m a work in progress, I feel better than I did 60 pounds ago, still have a ways to go, and am still trying to figure out how to make the scale go down, not giving up! It’s just nice to know that out here in the blog world, someone knows what it’s like to be me:) Congratulations on your progress, and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your honesty, and for sharing, I am applauding you from over here in New York.
Della
Hey Della, sister from another mister haha…we are all a work in progress, and I’m sure we’ll get there. I love the fact that you guys know exactly what I’m talking about, how much better does it make you feel when you know you’re not alone!
It’s this weird in between time with the weather! Here in Chicago in can be 70 one day and snow the next – we’re not out of the woods on the snow front quite yet although I’d be surprised. I wore a sweater to work yesterday and I was HOT – so it’s time for those sweaters to get put away. Good luck with the spring cleaning it’s very cathartic! My family was away last weekend and I got through two rooms in my house with no one to bother me and complain about what I was throwing in the garbage.
On another note – my weigh in yesterday – down 1.4. Now I know that’s not a WHOOSH in the true definition – but if I looked back over my tracker I for sure haven’t lost over a pound in many, many months. Normally .8 is about my highest — I go between .8 to a stay the same to a gain. So that 1.4 is 2 weeks cumulative since I didn’t weigh in from vacation last week. In any case I was pleased, and I’m going to keep going with it. It kinda gave me something to be excited about ya know? Heading into the Passover holiday, which is always a challenge, but I’m planning on staying the course.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Beth that’s awesome that you went on holiday and came back lighter, you did good lady! I’m happy for you, and yes keep going…you are up to the challenge of Passover and I look forward to hearing about how you totally aced it 🙂
Be sure and get outside to enjoy some walks this weekend, while you are going through sorting out your clothes.
Keep up the great work! We will catch you on Monday with hopefully another great weigh in. Just a thought but keep track of your measurements as well. Seeing the inches drop can really be motivating.
I’d love to walk outside Susan, but my knee is making it difficult at the moment. I’m having more physio tomorrow so hopefully it will turn the corner soon.Hopefully attached to the rest of me hahahaha