It’s the sole topic of conversation right now, this dieting malarkey. Just about every bit of small talk and chatter I’ve overheard relating to the festive season has involved folk exchanging war stories about the obscene amount of food and drink they’ve consumed, and how they need to drop the additional pounds now it’s all over. I’ve got to say, most of the people I know don’t actually look any different despite pretending that they ate as much as I did. Me, well…the party going on in my pants tells its own story.
Its also impossible to dodge the multitude of programmes on the telly about this diet or that fitness regime, to the point where normal people must surely be getting pissed off with it all. I know from experience that fat classes up and down the country will be bursting at the seams for the next few weeks, and gym regulars will be muttering under their breath as the latest batch of fatties adjust their brand-new-out-of-the-box fitbits and form an orderly queue for the exercise bikes. There’s definitely more traffic than usual on this road to Skinny Town.
What I’m beginning to realise, is that this isn’t the long straight road I’d imagined as I embarked on this journey, you know? On the 17th August 2015 I set off thinking there’s no reason why I can’t achieve a steady loss of 2lbs per week, so that’s… *screws face up, thinks for a minute then gives up and reaches for a calculator* …175lbs too heavy divided by 2lbs per week is 88 weeks, and 88 weeks from now takes me up to…15th March 2017. Ta Daaah!
That’s the day I’ll shimmy into my skinny jeans and sashay down the road with my neat and tidy tushie, right?
Hang on a minute… *looks down at buddha body still encased in elasticated waistband* …that’s only 10 weeks from now. Fuck. How did that happen? To get back on track I’ll need to lose 12lbs per week every week between now and then. Yeah, good luck with that, Dee. Way to go.
So maybe there were some weeks where I didn’t lose two pounds…yeah, like the last three months where you’ve been fannying around and regained a bunch of weight. Theres been a distinct absence of solid 2lb losses in recent times, in fact most weeks out of the last twelve I’ve either clung on by my fingertips and maintained, or I’ve hurtled backwards at an alarming rate of knots. I didn’t account for that when I was doing my calculations.
Still. I am where I am but you know what, I refuse to get down about it. I could so easily have been sat here, dying a little bit inside and polishing the wing mirror on my mobility scooter with a tear-stained sleeve as I saw only failure behind me and reflected on the fact that I was now 70lbs heavier and knocking on the door of 400lbs because the 22nd August 2015 was just another false start that went nowhere, you know? My dieting life is peppered with false starts that went nowhere.
But that’s not where I am, is it? I ended 2016 around 60lbs lighter than my starting point and I’m still fucking hanging in there. So what, I might be only one third of the way towards my goal instead of almost there but shit happens and the important thing is never taking your eye off the end game and getting up when your feet get knocked out from underneath you.
I’ve already clocked the tiger waiting for me when I’ve clawed my way out of this valley, I suspect he’ll actually come in the shape of my forthcoming holiday. And beyond that there appears to be shark-infested waters and the odd cyclone but fuck it, at least life won’t be boring, right? I’ve got you lot to keep me company, and it’s all good.
Come on then, let’s crack on 🙂
Hi Dee! I read a comment about ups and downs a dieting and they said you didn’t give up learning how to walk when you fell down the first time and you didn’t yell at your child because they didn’t know how to walk perfectly the first time they tried it so be nice to yourself you will get there!
I hope so Autumn, and I hope you’re doing okay too ?
Morning, Glory! Yes, the upsy-daisy phase, WTRoyal-F!?! Thanks to Margaret who reassured me I am not alone in this either. And made the recommendation of writing – ‘journaling’ for folks like me – every day. I’m doing it, My day 6, I am shocked to find my toes on the sweet spot right now. Hang in, Guys!
Bloody marvellous, you too Fleury? How cool is that ? Look at us, getting off to a cracking start. Shitbird scale was kind today…we’re back on track Fleury-pops ?
Good on you, Dee! I like that you’re seeing what you accomplished in 2016, rather than beating yourself up that it wasn’t as much as you’d hoped. 60 pounds is awesome 🙂
*puffs chest out* thanks Jamie, yes I’ll take that! All in all not a bad start eh 🙂
You aren’t just 60 pounds lighter, either. You are also much fitter thanks to your workouts and the hurt machine and climbing mountains. That fitness will help you lose the rest.
Mentally you are tougher, too. You can tell that by the fact that you are not giving up!
I hadn’t thought about that Mimi but you’re right, I am! Yey!
It is a mental battle to be sure. I just don’t understand why my own mind wants me to eat cookies. I have the hugest urge to bake cookies today. Maybe because it’s 18 degrees out (-7.7c). I too have reasoned it all out, and I should be more than thin by now, if my calculations were correct, I would have lost so much I would have actually disappeared by now. But today is a new day, and I am not throwing in the towel. Thank you for your honesty:)
Della
Ah Della that made me laugh out loud! You should have disappeared by now ???
Dee, so much of this journey is one of the mind. In fact, I would say it’s 75% responsible for what happens every step of the way. Knowing you screwed up, had a relapse or two, but moved forward in spite of that is all part of the process. The problem with giving yourself a deadline is the deadline excepts a straight line and that’s not how life goes. Great post. I’m right here with you in getting the game back on. You got this!
Aw thanks Tracey – how are you doing? It’s my day five and it’s going really well, I’m feeling strong 🙂
Great comment, Tracey. Life is definitely NOT a straight path, and our path to health is not straight, either. The important thing is determination and sticking with it–putting one foot in front of the other.
Great job on losing 60 pounds last year! That is a really big deal. Now don’t go after reading that and say in your head ” Yeah but I still have to lose xxx pounds” You lost way more last year in a years time than I did when I finally made up my mind to get control of my scale weight once and for all.
I think you are wise to remember that weight loss isn’t linear unfortunately there are ups and downs. In some ways it is practice for how you will live the rest of your life.
Have a great weekend. Are you still doing your weekend walks or is too cold now?
Thanks Susan – and yes, we don’t walk every weekend but we do still get out, we’re doing one next Saturday as it happens! Have a great weekend too 🙂