When I stepped aboard the Shitbird Scale last week and the number forced me to acknowledge exactly how rebellious I’d allowed myself to become, I took it on the chin. As the week went on, I resisted the temptation to check in every day, so between you and me I approached yesterday’s weigh-in with not a little bit of trepidation…lets be honest, there hasn’t been much good news coming out of my bathroom of late.
I’d had a good week, so I was confident that the needle wouldn’t have moved up. Given my recent trajectory that’s progress in itself, right? I was hoping for a solid two pounds off. I felt like I deserved two pounds, because I’ve tried really hard to kick the Asshole voice into the long grass and focus on my input this week. One of the biggest revelations for me over the last year or so has been that taking care of the input is my job, and actually all the scale needs to do is report the output. It’s less about the number, and more about my side of the deal.
Except the bitch in my bathroom used to toy with me…she seemed to get off on messing with my mojo by giving me a different reading within seconds of the last depending on which tile in the bathroom she happened to be sitting on when I hopped aboard. and I played right into her hands…best of three. No, hang on a minute, let’s make it best of five. Or ten, or fifteen…maybe I should take an average…? No wonder it twisted my melon.
Although initially I baulked at the price, I think choosing this particular Shitbird Scale when the old bitch hit the skids was one of my better ideas. I mean obviously we did the customary weigh-day waltz around the bathroom to get the best possible reading, but unlike the last one, Shitbird scale held the line – it didn’t matter which tile it stood on, the number was the same. There was a definite air of it is what it is, fool…take it or leave it, you know? And since the number was three pounds lower than last week, I’ll take it thank you very much.
Three pounds. That has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? And it feel like a solid three, because it wasn’t a one, then a four and a two before it landed on three. Times past, when I’ve been awarded a good loss and I’ve declared a successful week, the bitch has been known to snatch it back the following day and revert to something less impressive. Rarely did it happen the other way around, although to be fair I wasn’t kidding when I hinted at the best of fifteen…it’s not unheard of, as rituals go.
The thing is, even before I clocked the number, I felt calm and self-assured on the inside. I’ve stopped bouncing from feast to famine, you know? This week, I managed to get a grip. And it’s fragile, I know that, but it’s there and it’s holding. I’ve been the one behind the wheel this last week, and the Asshole voice wasn’t even holding the map.
Seven good days. Seven days’ worth of skin in the game through a week that was as challenging as it gets – I’ve had two Christmas-related social events, two off-site meetings where lunch was out of my direct control and one night out with my boy where I selected carefully from the menu based on what I could have rather than what I wanted, and immediately followed up one sensible choice with another as I avoided the Ben & Jerry’s concession in the cinema. I didn’t even try and lick the counter as I walked past.
That’s progress folks 🙂
I’m really worried about you. You have never gone so long without posting. If you are unwell I hope you recover soon. If food addiction has reared its ugly head again, don’t forget the posse is behind you. You can get through this Dee. Praying for you. Much love. Anna
Oh bless you Anna, thanks so much for your lovely message – I’m still here! I was pretty exhausted in the run up to Christmas, and then bouncing around all over the place with my eating, I just couldn’t summon any words. But I’m good, it’s a shiny new year and I’m ON it! New post cooking for tomorrow…happy new year xx
How was your Christmas? Hope you had a lovely time with your boy!
It was lovely thanks Mary, time to recharge my batteries. I hope you had a good one too 🙂
Dee! That’s wonderful news! So proud of you for holding the line…even during the holidays. Keep us posted on how you’re doing 🙂
Hey Jamie, well the wheels have been on and off then on and off again…today is time to reset! Happy new year to you, and here’s to a skinny 2017!
Hi Dee,
I’ve been missing your posts, I hope all is well.
Just wanted to wish you and your boy a Merry Christmas.
Love Jo xxx
Hello lovely lady…Happy New Year to you, and yes all is good here, I will be posting again from tomorrow! I was so tired running up to Christmas and I although I didn’t really intend to take such a long break, it sort of panned out that way and I feel very rested!
Dee, yes!!! One week is so good!!! It’s a HUGE way to get your feet back on the ground and feel a steady running pace towards your goal. As far as the holidays go, I find that eating low all day on the day of a party and saving my calories for the big event is the best way to not blow it. Like, on Christmas Eve, I’ll eat egg whites for breakfast, veggie soup for lunch and save the rest for the festivities. Christmas I won’t pay any attention to what I eat. But the rest of this week and thereafter, I will be super religious. (I gained some weight this fall after suffering some medical stuff and being laid up.) You got this. Way to go!
Ah thanks Tracey…it’s such a lovely time of year I hate approaching it with trepidation!
Hey forgive my silence after a few of your chapters… you know what i am muttering at you while i’m reading. “Yessss! well said, hahahaha, oh WELL done, that punch landed solid. I hadn’t thought of that!” And, “I thought that too!”
Good work this week, I am there w/you trying to keep it on the rails… I think we have a handle on it. Dee, good show on this whole journey, the work of “unpicking the spaghetti” in your head, is making the difference. Bravo! – Love ya
Back atcha lovely lady…I miss you when you don’t pop up with your Fleury-shaped perspective but I know you’re always cheering me on ?
Great job on getting rid of those three pounds! Congrats that has to feel so good to see that win!
Glad to see that your new scale has integrity so to speak. I have done that same scenario you described. Oh and my scale weighs 1/2 pound heavier than you really are so I always get to subtract a 1/2 pound. I weigh daily so I am pretty immune to the emotions of weighing in.
Again, congrats on a great week!!
Aw thanks Susan ?
Happy Snoopy Dance for progress! Food sobriety isn’t easy, the rewards are hard earned. Your three gone is a great reward for righting this canoe.
Isn’t it Mimi! Happy dance here too!
Love the picture of you locking the icecream counter as you walk past ?
Ha me too Julia!!