As I walked into the house on Wednesday evening, having been to the outdoors shop after work with one of my colleagues who’s also doing the trek, my boy did a double-take. I was wearing my brand new trekking hat, and a backpack bursting at the seams with all manner of stuff including a rolled up sleeping mat and walking poles. He found it utterly hilarious…fucking hell mum, have you joined the SAS? Cheeky knacker.

Earlier that day I’d worked my way through the items on my kit list, ticking off all those that I already had…walking boots and socks, check. That was it, the full extent of my trekking-related accessories. Never one to miss a shopping opportunity, when my friend mentioned he was going to get kitted out I jumped at the chance to tag along.

First stop backpacks. So I have a backpack which I’ve used when we’ve done some of our practice walks, but what became apparent as I stood at the head of the backpack aisle surveying acres of bright colours and bungee cords was that mine wasn’t really a backpack at all. I’d thought maybe I could get away with using it, you know surely if it carries stuff and you can sling it over your shoulder it’ll do the job, right? The fact that it’d come free with my laptop was a minor detail.

When I read the bit in our itinerary where it said that for the first three trekking days we don’t have access to our main luggage, and we have to trek carrying everything we’ll need for three days and two nights including a mat to sleep on and a sleeping bag, the penny dropped that perhaps my laptop bag wouldn’t be quite big enough.

I picked out a beautiful bright red one with black webbing and lots of cool gadgets, and it was all going really well until I tried it on and realised that I couldn’t make the straps fasten. Clearly it wasn’t a backpack designed for fat girls, no way were those hip straps going around my midsection…for fucks sake, I’ve been dieting for a year and I can’t fit into a backpack, what’s that all about?

Several attempts later and with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp I finally settled on a green one which had a more generous portion of strap…only just, mind. I’d better not eat any pies before we set off, that’s all I can say. Anyway that was that, and the backpack was quickly joined by a water bladder, sleeping bag, ground mat, walking poles, mosquito net, my hat, two pairs of walking pants, a couple of moisture-wicking tops, and some waterproofs – I had to buy blokes XXL waterproofs which didn’t improve my mood but at least I’ll be dry and fat if we hit a monsoon, right?

I nearly passed out when she totalled it all up – it’s an expensive business this trekking malarkey. Yesterday I added to my pile and stocked up on shit-stoppers, blister plasters, antiseptic spray, sting cream, anti-histamines…the list goes on, and don’t even get me started on having to spend upwards of a hundred and fifty quid on my rabies vaccination, which was a bit of a shock…the tetanus, typhoid, diphtheria and Hep A ones were all free but even so, if I don’t get bitten by a rabid monkey in the next five years I’m going to be well pissed off.

You know what, I’m almost ready. Three weeks today we leave, and I’m feeling organised. My visa arrived yesterday, and I’ve just got a few more odds and ends to buy…I know it’s been an expensive week but I’m still pinching myself at the fact that I’m actually doing this, you know? A year ago I could barely walk from my house to the car, and certainly walking more than a couple of hundred yards was impossible…now look at me.

Knowing I can do this is worth every penny, and knowing that I’m walking to honour the memory of my dad…well, there are some things you can’t put a price on, right?

If you’d like to read my dad’s story and understand why I chose the mental health charity MIND to benefit from every penny of sponsorship money raised, you can follow this link…and if you’re able to help by donating a couple of quid I’d be truly grateful 🙂

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