There were a handful of milestones that I actually dreamed about, way back at the beginning of this journey and the thought of hitting them really spurred me on during some of the more memorable battles with the Asshole voice, you know? You might even remember me talking about a few of them at one point or another, like being able to get out of a chair without rocking myself back and forth until I had enough momentum to shift my bulk, or simply being able to cross my legs again…man, that was a special one when I managed it for the first time.
I still get a little thrill when I throw one leg over the other as if I’ve always been able to do that, it’s sort of normal now. What I’m waiting for next is a glimpse of what lies beneath the skin I live in. I’m talking about a hint of bones.
Now, logic tells me that it’s not anatomically possible for folk to function properly without a full compliment of bones in their skeleton, but you know what, I’d be tempted to argue that point. Let’s take hip bones for example. I’ve never ever laid eyes on mine, in fact I’ve never even felt them. If I didn’t know better I’d think maybe I was born without any.
We’ve all seen those images of bikini bodies with their concave stomachs, beautifully framed either side by a hint of hip bone…not me, even in my string bean years. Whenever I laid flat and breathed in, I could poke around as much as I liked but all I ever felt was padding. Nothing angular at all. Cheekbones, hip bones, wrist bones…the list of bones missing in action goes on.
Except, when I’m resident in Skinny Town, I do have a collar bone. And when it’s there, I’m just a little bit in love with it. I mean don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t stick out much, but there’s definitely an outline if you look hard enough. And when you’ve spent years looking like your head and your shoulders are attached to each other without even a neck in between, a collar bone is a thing of beauty.
I’d love to have one of those little hollows at the base of my neck, just in case Prince Charming stopped by one day with a desire to fill it with champagne and lick it off. It could happen, right? The only place he could fill with champagne right now would be my navel which is all well and good but to be fair he’d need a magnum and then some.
Anyway, dragging my mind out of the gutter, the other day as I was hoiking a kettle bell around in the Kingdom of Pain, I was forced to look at myself in the long mirrored wall and I could’ve sworn I caught a glimpse of collar bone. But then it disappeared again…there seemed to be a hint of it every time I lifted the weight, but no sign of it on the downward stroke. When I got home I must’ve stood and stared in the general shoulder area for a good five minutes from just about every angle…nothing. Bugger.
I know it’s in there…I reckon maybe another couple of dress sizes down and we’ll be re-acquainted, which is almost as exciting as the crossing the legs thing…it might be the only noticeable bone I ever have so it’s a big thing, you know? Real tangible evidence that the skinny girl really is breaking out of the fat suit.
I’ll maintain a watching brief, and keep you posted 🙂
I have to confess my favs are my cheekbones–defined cheekbones are just hard to beat.
And, you will be surprised, Dee, how fast you will see the muscle definition on the outside of the thigh. Often, that’s the first place it shows up. 🙂
It is..? Cue quick trip to the mirror…hmm, nothing yet but I’ll keep an eye out 🙂
Every milestone is worth a Happy Snoopy Dance, isn’t it! This one will come soon.
If Susan is coming back to read comments, i want her to know i will be praying for her and her father.
Thanks Mimi, and yes I hope Susan can feel us all rooting for her and her dad ?
First you will see shrinkage of the flab then you will start seeing tiny hints of muscle definition then all of the sudden one day you will wake up and see actual muscle definition. I worked on my arm definition first. I doubt any one is every truly satisfied with their shape. I keep working on my mine even though I am where I want to be scale wise.
I am worried about my dad he is having a very serious operation today with no warning ahead of time so I can’t be there. My dad lives 12 hours from here. So could you please send up a prayer that all goes well. Thanks.
Oh my goodness Susan of course we will…keeping fingers crossed that it all goes well, sending big hugs from all the posse xxx
Praying for your Dad Susan. Hope all went well. Jo.
I was also thinking about that Jo, and wondering how things are going. Sending more hugs 🙂
Love this, love you.
Me, I love the humblest micro-elements of my looks COLLAR BONES, yes – having my shoulder/chest area sort of slope down to my bosom, rather than look shelf-like. I am not in the market for massive pneumatic custom built Vegas showgirl bazoombahs.
Go, go, great going! Fleury
No I don’t fancy a couple of grapefruits plonked on my chest either but I guess anything lower than the collar bone can be forced into gravity-defying undercrackers, right? I’m just waiting for that shoulder definition!
Oooohhh!!! Bones, yes, I know what you mean. For me it was the definition of a muscle under the skin that got me excited. The truth is while there may be bones glimmering here and there, God designed us to bear children so the hips, arse and thighs are naturally bulky for most. I first saw a muscle in my shoulders and I’m sad to say I can barely see them anymore because I’m dealing with a shoulder injury which has kept me from doing any upper body lifting. You are building muscle, Dee. You are! As your body fat reduces you will be able to see more and more of them and eventually your bones will hide less and less! You are doing great! Keep up the good work!
Thanks Tracey, I can’t imagine a world where I look at myself and see muscles..imagine that! 🙂