I like to think that I’m one of those folk who can multi-task, and generally plough through all the things on my to do list in the course of a day. I can, most of the time. But more and more often just recently I’ve run out of day with things still left waiting to be done and it’s twisting my melon big time. I feel like I’m starting the next day off in debt you know?
I know the reasons why…it’s because I’m making myself follow some rules. Now, I’m not generally big on self-imposed rules, in fact even the words are like nails scraping down a chalkboard. I have very few, and the ones I do have usually carry about as much weight as an eyelash. For example, my rule on buying handbags…if I spot another must-have bag for my collection, I have to move one on first. One in, one out. How often do I follow that rule..? Yeah, I think I’ll plead the fifth.
So being strict with myself is sort of a new concept and it’s fair to say It’s taking a bit of getting used to. Honestly, I’m feeling a bit resentful – even tearful at times. Obviously the Asshole voice has an opinion too of course but I guess that won’t come as much of a surprise. You’re pushing yourself too hard, you deserve better, nobody can be expected to put exercise ahead of enjoying themselves, that’s just fucking unreasonable and I’m telling you no good will come of it. You’re designed for comfort not speed, and fitness isn’t your bag…
Whatever, Asshole…the rules aren’t complicated and they exist for a reason. They’re helping me to colour inside the lines of this picture I have in my head, of me living in Skinny Town. My big picture features a fit, strong and healthy woman with endless energy and a rediscovered zest for life. I want that life. I’m reclaiming it, so there’s just shit I need to do.
Firstly, I need to get at least seven hours’ sleep each night…necessary because I’m doing a lot more physical stuff and if I’m fatigued I’m more susceptible to picking up an injury. Secondly, I have to complete at least five workouts per week, more if my work schedule will allow. Also necessary to increase my strength and stamina if I’m going to stand any chance at all of pulling off this 90km trek, which is now just three months and five days away.
Thirdly I need to increase my walking by at least two miles each week. I can comfortably manage eight miles now in a single walk, and whilst I genuinely don’t have time to fit an eight mile walk in every day between working and working out, I have to fit some walking in somewhere, every day and fully commit to the longer ones at the weekend.
Charlie-dog is also slowly adapting to the new routine…those long comfortable evenings in the armchair where he’d lay on my knee and have one long tummy rub whilst drooling over whatever I was snacking on have been replaced with walking, more walking and even more walking than that. When your dog looks grateful to cross the threshold on the way in, you know you don’t have the balance right between rest and play, but in preparation for Cuba it’s just how it has to be.
I do occasionally catch him throwing a longing look at the armchair but I expect he sees me do that too. I miss it more than I can even tell you, but this is my life now. And all that is set against a backdrop of busy demanding job with a long commute, and making sure I have time set aside for my mum, who needs a lot of support. I’ve had to make some ground rules especially around sleep to avoid completely burning out, you know?
You guys are awesome, cheering me on from the sidelines and I know you’re with me every step of the way, even if it means my words don’t come with the regularity that they used to. I’d love to spend more time in here and chat to you every day like I did back in the day, but for the time being it’s one of the luxuries that I can only allow myself to get to when I’ve fitted in the non-negotiables.
So, this should really have been yesterday’s post. Better late than never, right? I’ve enjoyed an hour of writing and catching up with all your news whilst my complex breakfast carbohydrates got on with the business of being digested, and now they’re ready to fuel this fat old body on another practise run. God of Pain has helpfully supplied some weights to put in my backpack which I’m going to be wearing for the first time…fuck my life!!!
Have a lovely weekend whatever you’re up to…see you on the other side 🙂
I think you forgot to finish that last sentence. Shouldn’t it be …”Fuck my life is pretty damn awesome now that I got my tush out of the chair and am a strong, powerful, capable woman who can do anything she sets her mind too? Keep it up lady, you’ve got this
Well Kris, when you put it like that… 🙂 🙂
Roger that. I have been wrestling with the tiller & absolutely panicked that my face was thickening up again. Life didn’t seem to derail me LAST YEAR at this time! What the flock!?
One thing I’ll throw out on the ball field: If you have any secret suspicions about food largesse and the person lavishing you with off-plan goodies… practice your avoidance techniques!! Yeh it was a birthday week (last month!) but when I said Okay to a birthday dinner, there appeared a farewell brunch, then a piece of cake scooted in – now WHERE did all those gate-crasher cookies an’ munchies come from?!
I think sometimes when you near the skinny town county line Fleury, people just don’t want to see you nail it…or, they think you’re now sorted and can resist stuff now you’re no longer fat on the outside. I’ll always be a fat girl on the inside!
You are committed to your priorities, and that’s the only thing that will get you where you want to go.
Kudos to you for insisting on a certain amount of sleep. That is difficult in my house, since i’m having to be up so early, and everyone else can sleep late and they are natural born night owls. They want me to stay up late, too, then they sleep in while i have to drag myself to work. It’s going to have to stop somehow.
Yes I agree…it’s important 🙂
I fell in love with your blog when I first discovered it a few weeks ago while doing research for starting my OWN blog (for starters, about all my walking adventures around my hometown, Boston, MA). Your humor, honesty, and genuine likeability shine brightly in your writing style, and though I have quite a few posts to catch up with, I always look forward to reading them because they make me laugh out loud. This one was no exception.
It’s your attitude and self-deprecating-honest-humor that can be applied to so many things, besides losing weight, that is, that I am drawn to and can relate to – especially changing your lifestyle, even if that applies only to mental/emotional health. Shutting up the Asshole in each of us. I already AM “The Skinny Girl,” and have been my whole life, due to both genes and lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean life is perfect. It’s life. Sometimes it sucks.
I truly do applaud your attitude and your struggles and your determination to push through anyway. Walking is one of my favorite things to do, and I try to walk at least a couple of miles every day after work, and longer on weekends, but I don’t always succeed. Sometimes a dense fog envelopes me, and all I want to do is sit in a comfy chair and read a book or do nothing; and when that happens, I try not to beat myself up too much. More often than not, though, I reluctantly push that aside and get my butt out the door for as long a walk as I can, and always feel better afterwards. Do you find that, too?
Keep pushing through, Dee, and keep laughing. Humor has always been such a great coping mechanism, and as far as I’m concerned, laughter is as essential as breathing, and must be done every single day.
I hope your weighted walk went wicked well!
What a lovely note to receive Julianne…welcome to the posse and I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. I do feel better after I’ve done something physical, well, once the hurting stops of course! And yes, I do like walking although I have to say the fun police have killed it dead by suggesting weights in a backpack..!
I can’t wait to hear what you write about the weighted backpack. ?
It was a chuffing nightmare Shelly 🙂
Thanks for writing today. You really do have to pick and choose your priorities since there are only so many hours in a day and week.
Good luck on your walk with the weights in your back pack you can do this! We all need some rest and down time just don’t use it as an excuse to binge. I think everyone needs one day off from exercise healthy eating is a 7 day a week thing however.
Also I think you are being a good daughter to your mom. You won’t regret how much you helped her. My mom passed back in 2004 I miss her every day and we didn’t have the best relationship but even so I still miss her.
We are having a holiday weekend over here across the pond it is the 4th of July weekend. Take care and have a great weekend!
Thanks Susan…I hope you and all my friends across the pond have an awesome 4th July weekend! x