I didn’t really know what to expect this week as I shuffled into the bathroom for my weekly encounter with the bitch. The asshole voice was trying to engage me in conversation right off the bat, before I’d even got out of bed in fact, by pointing out that unless I’d dropped at least ten pounds this week I should resign from the fitness studio with immediate effect and admit that this body was not built for the kind of things I’ve been asking it to do.
I didn’t lose ten pounds, but I did lose two, and I’ll happily take that. I’ve only got five pounds to go until I hit the five stones mark and then in just one more stone’s time I’ll be able to say that I’m officially halfway to Skinny Town. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a long old slog to get this far but with your company and a few laughs along the way it’s not proving to be as bad as it otherwise might have been, you know?
Writing less often feels very strange. I’m not sure that I like it, but some of the pressure has definitely gone. You lot have been brilliant, in fact I’m blessed with an extraordinary amount of support and I think my fears about not blogging every day having an impact on the strength of the glue holding my feet in the sweet spot have proved to be unfounded. So far, at least.
I waved goodbye to a lot of my favourite fat-girl clothes last week too, after I sold them on eBay…man that felt good. As I handed them over at the Post Office parcel by parcel and waved them off to start a new life on someone else’s curves, I swear I felt lighter by the minute. The Asshole voice had an opinion, obviously. No no no nooooo…not the blue daisy top, that was your favourite!! What if you ever need it again, you’re bound to put the weight back on at some point and you’ll never find anything that you liked as much as that…
Maybe that’s true, you know? Not the re-gain, I mean I have no intention of going back there but maybe I wouldn’t ever find a fat-girl top that I liked as much as I liked that one. I felt nice in that top, I thought it hid a multitude of sins. Looking back on the photographs, it did not. What I actually looked like was a moose in a blue daisy top, so somewhere along the way, someone was getting fooled.
Anyway, as I slowly adjust to wearing clothes four sizes down from where I started, even my old favourites are no longer welcome. No emergency fatter-girl clothes needed in reserve because my new normal won’t be requiring a fallback position thank you very much.
I’m adjusting to a bunch of other stuff too…waking up and counting the number of body parts which provoke an ouch whenever I move them, then feeling happy because I remember why they’re aching…I’m working hard. Fitting at least one fitness session into my schedule every day. Saving stuff up in my head to chatter about with you guys instead of spending quite so much time at my keyboard…it all counts, and it’s all moving me to a better place, it just takes a bit of getting used to that’s all.
So, my thoughts have turned to my next goal – I’m only just nicely in a size 20, but I’m pitching to be in a comfortable size 18 by the time I go on holiday, in the middle of August. That’s do-able in 3 months, right? I might even get there more quickly, especially now I have the God of Pain on my side…by rights I should be a size 10 by next Sunday.
I did try cracking a joke in that general direction during my last session and he just nailed me with the stare, which on that occasion I interpreted to mean don’t be so fucking ridiculous. Fair enough 🙂
The new normal… It’s kind of cool, isn’t it? I mean seriously, when you think about the fact that you used to be tired from taking a short walk and now you enjoy it and you’re even pushing yourself to go to the fitness studio. I mean this is awesome Dee, you are doing an amazing job! When I got rid of all my clothes, I gave them to charity. I never really thought to deal with eBay. I wonder if I would’ve broken even with some of my clothing investments. One of the things that was so funny was when I went through the closet in the basement. There were clothes from the 1990s in there oh my God and they were too big for me! It was kind of a sad thing. And there really was no getting rid of those clothes. I did give them to charity but they’re probably still hanging on the racks. I wonder if they sold them just for the textiles.
That’s my plan Tracey – buy new smaller stuff with the money I make from the ones which are too big. I did send a lot to charity but you know what, some of the stuff I had was really good gear that had hardly been worn, in fact some stuff still had the tags on, so charity begins at home sometimes!
It is nice to see the big clothes going away, isn’t it? Your talking about feeling like you should be able to lose huge amounts from the extra exercise reminds me of a comic strip i saw years ago. It shows a woman hanging over the handle of a treadmill, panting in exhaustion, and her trainer is telling her “Congratulations! You just burned enough calories for 3 M&Ms!”
It’s okay, though. The studies seem to be showing all the same pattern. Losing weight is more about what you eat, keeping it off is about how you exercise.
It’s true Mimi, I always feel like I should have burned off far more than I have!
Hi, Dee! oh my, this has been a week of adjustment, i feel like i’m getting weaned off the daily instalment from you, and i’m rather amazed that it’s going so well.
Especially when it has already produced a nice solid 2# loss as well as the trophy aches!! congratulations, doll, when you tell us your week is accommodating some workout every day, i feel like it’s all worth it. you’re at exactly the right stage to kick in the after-burner on the “activity” component.
your trainer guy knows the key to conditioning is keeping on it… maybe he’s not susceptible to your wisecracks because he is WILLING you to keep on keeping on. don’t know if he is a reader of this blog, so he can’t yet see how many resolute and indomitable head of Stringbeans-in-the-making are behind you!
It’s really odd Fleury, I’m genuinely missing our daily banter but it’s all for the greater good! I think you’re right, this is exactly the right time to raise the bar right above my head and go for it, I feel ready and I’m more determined than ever. And I know he’s going to get the best out of me ?
I like that your not keeping your “old” fat clothes just in case. I also like that you are buying some clothes for your current size now as you go along just don’t over do since you are still on the march down ward size wise.
I wouldn’t put any pressure on myself or time table as to one I will be In the next size down you’ll get there soon no need for the extra pressure.
You didn’t say how your weekend went I hope it was a good one.
Good job on the two pound lose! Keep up the good work. I just love reading about your journey.
My weekend was awesome thanks Susan, a nice balance of busy and chilled. Oh, and the boxing…more about that later!