I could get used to this…having packed such a lot in to the last few days I feel like I’ve already had my weekend, and yet it’s only Sunday with a Bank Holiday tomorrow...get in. I just had my weekly encounter with the bitch in the bathroom and the number hasn’t moved this week, which is annoying, but all it drew from me was a Paddington stare and a silent fuck you. To be honest, it hasn’t put a dink in my Sunday at all – I’m still riding the euphoria of the last couple of days.
On that though…whilst I sincerely appreciate all the love and the compliments which have come my way, I’d like to point out that it would have been much more helpful if you’d all emailed and said you didn’t look bad but Christ on a bike look at the size of your arse...I’ve got the Asshole on my case now with a full blown campaign designed to persuade me that enough is enough.
In the past, it’s sometimes taken just one compliment for me to down tools. Such-a-body said I’m looking good so I think I can leave it there, well done me, I’m done. And when I actually think about it, a compliment combined with me feeling better generally has pretty much guaranteed that me and whatever diet I was doing would head directly to splitzville. Dee and the diet remain the best of friends and wish each other well for the future but are now consciously uncoupling and will be seeing other people…
I need to shut the Asshole down immediately…I’m still eight stones too heavy for my frame and whilst I’m able to do far more now than I could at my heaviest I’m a million miles away from the person I see in the daydreams which I’ve hugged to myself for the last few months, you know? Me, sashaying down the road in skinny jeans without a care in the world. Me, whizzing up that mountain in Cuba without breaking a sweat. Me, enjoying myself doing whatever without giving a monkey’s chuff about what I might look like.
I can pretty much write the script of how it would go if I took my foot off the gas now…I’d be careful for ten minutes and then lose the plot altogether, which is basically what I’ve done my whole life. I think it was Dr. Phil who used to say that the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour…he’s got a point, right?
Even when I did the VLC liquid diet and got to my skinniest weight I still stopped a bit short of the goal weight I’d set myself when I started because I’d reached the point where one more chalky soup would have tipped me over the edge. I mean, I might have actually even killed someone. As soon as that BMI number nudged point nought nought nought one inside the boundary of normal that was it. Finito.
What I’ve come to realise is that the number you moot as your ideal number at the start of your journey is an important psychological milestone. Actually mine isn’t a number, it’s a dress size. UK 12…that’s my holy grail. If I stop at a 14 or a 16, I’ll just continue to bounce around because I’ve set size 12 as my anchor. My cornerstone. So if I stop short, essentially I’m buggered.
I love how you all jumped in to make me feel a million dollars, you knew instinctively that I needed that confidence boost and good Lord did you ever come through for me. But I’m going to tuck those lovely words away for a while now, okay? I might wheel them out once in a while if I’m having a down day, or if the Asshole’s chewing my ear and eroding my confidence. But for now, I need to gently shut the door on them and get on with the business of getting skinny!
Dee, I’ve been fighting this same fight too. It’s been a year and 100 pounds down for me, with 50 more to go. I love the way you have with words, you make me smile!
Thanks Summer, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog, and welcome to the posse! Congratulations on your 100lbs off that’s awesome 🙂
Ok, trying to balance honest compliments with encouragement to keep going… It’s true you need to lose some more weight to be your optimal size and health so don’t stop now but you really didn’t look 100 pounds overweight in those photos. Maybe 50 pounds overweight? So it was a flattering dress, or a great photo, or you “carry it well” or all three. You looked great! But keep going to look and feel even better.
Lady you’ve got a gift! Thank you Natalie 🙂
How much is a stone in a weight that we folks from the US can understand?
I like your idea of a dress size instead of a number goal. I’m glad you didn’t get upset about the scale staying the same this week. Last week you had a lot of unusual stress and that can affect the number. I hope this week ahead is a good one for all of us.
Ah sorry! One stone is fourteen pounds, so I still have over one hundred pounds to shift, one hundred and sixteen of the stubborn little suckers if my math is correct! Hope you have a great week Susan 🙂
Morning, Glory!
Now, these are the further challenges & pitfalls of a journey we have made before! (What you have written of before, what we’ve experienced REPEATEDLY, is this quicksand just at the threshold). All of y’all, this is right, right?
I hit 52 weeks yesterday. Feeling pretty good, but there’s a sense that it’s a precarious moment. Self, see here! I have thought this through, tried to make plan – starting months ago, while rolling my boulder laboriously up the damn hill, while the issue was still academic.
We couldn’t SEE the size of your posterior! All I have to support your resolution is the row of work pants, flapping like caution flags in the spring breeze. More power to you. Love You Loa, Fleury
Quicksand…Yes! Fleury that’s exactomondo what I’m talking about. 52 weeks, Fleury you’re my hero. Look what you did! There will be people today looking down at the spare tyre around their middle thinking if I’d stuck to the diet I started last year, I’d be skinny now…and there ya go, you knocked it out of the park! I’m happy for you but we all won’t get off your case until you ring that bell y’hear? I can sleep easy at night because I know you know about the quicksand!
Hahaha, I am still swinging for the fences, as you are. What I did in 1 year is part-way to a conservative goal. I don’t mind my Pirelli, once I traded in the Goodyear tractor tire for it…. Marginal gains, right?!
In just a few months from now, when you’re in the Cuban sunshine, you’ll be glad you kept your focus!
Yep it’s all about those marginal gains…I’m a few months behind you Fleury but you know even though some weeks my losses slow to a crawl, when I look back the starting point is way way in the distance now…every little helps, right?