I woke up today to a message from a company who want to send me a freebie, in exchange for me doing a review of their product on our website – how exciting! Well, that was my first thought. Let me wind back a few steps…do you remember when I went to meet all my fellow UK Blog Awards finalists one evening a few weeks ago in London? Quite a few people mentioned back then that they regularly got offered free stuff, and I remember thinking then that maybe I should muscle in and start blogging about holidays, or fashion or something where lots of interesting free stuff might come my way…I love a bargain, me.

So there was much giddiness at Skinny Towers this morning, I kind of feel like I’ve arrived. Except there seems to be so many rules about how to manage stuff like that, that I immediately started stressing and my biggest worry of all of course, was what if I didn’t like the product? What if it tastes like feet?

It’s a range of teas, which allegedly help you detox and lose weight, and that all sounds really amazing but I’m not sure it’s something I’d get on with. I mean I can’t imagine that I could add a dash of milk and one sugar and drink it as I’m doing the washing up, you know? I think I’d need a yoga mat and a strappy top and a clear complexion with no wrinkles. And a serene expression, which has never been my forte.

I’ve never been very good at funny teas. I have a friend at work who’s really into fruit teas. They always smell amazing, and there are no calories in them at all so you could drink them all day long. But they confuse my senses, which kind of makes me suspicious you know?  They smell like guava, or blackberry or some other exotic thing, but they never actually taste like they smell, and that messes with my mojo. Invariably when I’ve tried them, I find they just taste of feet.

I think I’m going to have to decline their offer, right? It doesn’t feel right to accept something that I’m fairly certain I’m not going to like, and quite apart from that, this isn’t really the kind of blog where I’m bringing you the latest trends in this or that anyway, is it? You’re not used to me saying do this, or try that and it makes me feel a bit weird imagining myself in that space.

If I’d set myself up as some kind of expert, or had set my stall out as the blogging guru of weight loss, you know, someone who dispensed advice and guidance left and right then it might be different. But all I really do is share with you the inner workings of my head, which I’m constantly trying to wrestle into the sensible zone, whilst simultaneously squashing the asshole voice and doing the best I can on my own journey down the scale. It’s about what turns lights on for me, rather than what might work for you, and that’s a subtle but important difference.

I do know that you listen carefully to the words I throw out there, and I’m regularly touched by the messages I get where you tell me that you’re relating and finding it helpful as you navigate your own journey. I love it when that happens, it honestly gives me the biggest buzz ever. So I’m really conscious that everything I write or talk about has to come from my heart, like it always has, otherwise it won’t be authentic.

That said, I’d just like to make it absolutely clear that if anyone from Chanel is poking around the blog, the same rules wouldn’t apply to your handbags, right? If you want a review writing about how a fat lass from Yorkshire feels carrying a piece from your latest collection, I’m very happy to oblige. I’ll say whatever you like, and it’ll be the best review you’ve ever had, I guarantee it 🙂

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