I made it! It’s Friday and I’m anticipating no challenges today. I say that because honestly, Monday to Thursday this week have felt like one long obstacle course and I’m grateful to have skidded sideways into Friday unscathed.
Well, I say unscathed…the cheese and pickle sandwich and fries that I ate at lunchtime yesterday did not support my cause in any way whatsoever but the lightning speed with which my hands reached out and flung them on my plate from the buffet lunch didn’t leave me much time to open the I’m not doing this dialogue with my asshole voice. Once my jaws are engaged in the business of chewing I tend to find that my argument loses a degree or two of momentum you know?
And I’d love to be able to tell you that once I got home last night, I wore a hair shirt for the rest of the day and didn’t compound my indiscretion with any further whoopsies, but that wouldn’t be strictly true either.
So my super-turbo-charged week has one or two dinks in it, including a deep dive into those weekly additional smart points that I wasn’t going to touch, but you know what, I’m still in the game…I have no plans whatsoever for the Bank Holiday weekend, so me and Charlie dog are going to get some lovely long walks in, I’ve got two full days of clean eating left before my Sunday sulk-off with the bitch in the bathroom and I’m gathering up what’s left of my dieting week and going for it, big time.
And if the cheese and pickle sandwich catches up with me I’ll take it on the chin and move my three pound challenge to next week instead.
Blimey…there’s a statement. Can you even imagine me saying that six months ago..? My position in the sweet spot felt incredibly fragile back then. I was terrified that something was going to come along and knock me sideways, back into a world where the short-term need to feed my face trumped any longer-term thinking, not to mention hopes and dreams. And don’t get me wrong, I’m a long way from complacent but honestly, seven months into the journey and I feel like the ground under my feet is a little more solid, you know?
So I stumbled a bit yesterday, and made a not-so-sensible choice. So what? I’m within points by the skin of my teeth but I’m not sitting here with my head in my hands mourning the end of another diet. It tasted awesome, but I’m not craving another one and it hasn’t changed anything. My resolve and determination is as sound as it was before the sharpness of that cheese sandwich exploded onto my tongue, and nothing is spoiled.
I can only think that all the work we’ve done together on unpicking the spaghetti inside my head has started to pay dividends, and I’m one step removed from the twisted way I used to think about food. You know what I’m talking about…I’ve been less than perfect therefore I’ve blown it, I might as well call it a day right now. Today, that thought hasn’t even entered my head.
I’m acutely aware that it used to and I kind of half-anticipated that it might, but as I opened my eyes this morning and mentally patted myself down, I was relieved to note that all my dieting ducks were in a row, and the asshole voice wasn’t even trying to overcomplicate the situation.
Doesn’t that make a refreshing change 🙂
