The irony isn’t lost on me, that as we speak I’m sitting in the corner of my kitchen talking to you lot about being on a diet and all the time my psyche is focusing less on what nuggets of wisdom will fall from these fair lips and fingertips this evening, and more on whether there are any naughty things to be had in any of the cupboards behind me. Concentrate!
My broken full-filter has come under scrutiny again this week. I hate to keep banging the same old drum but I’ve had to have a bit of a word with myself – it sort of came about because I bought the new phone. Indirectly, obviously but you know how my mind works. It’s a monster of a phone with a huge screen, which I can actually see…revolutionary, right? Even with reading glasses on, the old one had become a challenge so I really only used it for emergency Facebook stalking and phone calls you know?
This one is different. It’s been welded to my hand since I bought it, and I’m using it for everything. Need help wiping your bum? There’s an app for that! At least, I’m sure there would be if I looked. Anyway having a good look around the app store sort of led me to the Weight Watchers’ app which I’d never really used before, and it’s awesome.
Except my daily points seem to be adding up at warp speed, and it’s not afraid to point out a few home truths you know? Like I might just be eating a bit too much. And that’s my problem with the Weight Watchers diet. When they say you can eat as much of ‘these’ foods as you like, they have no points…well. That’s the law then. It doesn’t matter that my full-filter is broken, because it’s free food, right? Free. No points. I can eat as much as I like, LOOK…the book says I can. So I am.
Except it’s not really free is it? I mean it might be free of Weight Watcher’s smart points, but it’s not free of calories, is it? Or natural sugar. Let’s take honeydew melon as an example…I love that, it’s my favourite fruit. But just because it happens to be a free food on Weight Watchers doesn’t mean I have to eat a whole one. Every day.
It did occur to me on Sunday when I was doing the supermarket shop that seven melons felt a bit excessive, for two people. Especially when only one of them eats melon…uhuh.
When I was using the little battery powered calculator thingamabob I didn’t even enter free stuff into it, I mean what’s the point…there are no points in it so why would it matter. But now I’m tracking on the app I’ve realised how much I’m actually eating. Free stuff, you know but still…in industrial quantities it’s sort of against the spirit of the diet, dammit.
Which might be another reason why my weight-loss appears to have stalled. Yes, the pills and yes the widespread guesstimating of points values didn’t help, but whilst that’s all sorted now, I’m having a bit of an epiphany which seems to point to the fact that I appear to have swapped cheese balls for something else I can eat without boundaries.
Right now, the Asshole voice is screaming BUT IT’S FREE!!! IT’S FREE!!! DON’T STOP EATING IT’S FREE!!! like his pants are on fire. And granted, unlimited melon is better than unlimited hob-nobs. I doubt anyone ever got fat from eating too much melon.
But still.
