I had an interesting conversation yesterday evening with someone I phoned for a bit of advice, who thinks I could do better on here, you know, on the blog. I was hoping he might be able to signpost me towards a techie person who could help me with the subscription widget – I’m two weeks into it being on the blink now, there’s no sign of our friends off-shore breathing life back into it any time soon and I’m nearing the end of my rope.
He couldn’t help, as it happened, however during the course of our conversation it seemed that there were a couple of things, three in fact that he had an opinion on. His opinion was welcome of course, I’m always open to feedback as you know. Thing is, he hasn’t actually read the blog.
I know, right..? That’s what I thought too. A self-proclaimed subject matter expert who doesn’t write a blog himself and hadn’t actually read any of my words. Not his cup of tea at all, as he pointed out…clearly he’s not a middle-aged woman with fat issues. But still, he took the time to point out how I was doing it all wrong because he knows stuff.
When I said it was mainly words and not many pictures, I swear could hear him pulling a face – apparently you lot won’t like that. He wanted to know how many words, and I told him, roughly. It seems I write too many, and again you lot won’t really like that either, hell it seems half of you won’t even bother reading them. It seems I should make it sharp and punchy instead. With lots of pictures, because you’ll like that.
He asked me about my search-engine optimisation build – whatever the chuff that is – and apparently my approach to that is all wrong too. In his humble opinion I should write every post with that in mind or I’ll ‘never get anywhere’. Pepper it with keywords in all the right places. Right then. I did mention that people seemed to be finding me okay but he was having none of it. SEO is where it’s at, in his book.
He totally couldn’t get his head around the fact that I don’t really talk about the diet. I tried to tell him it wasn’t a blog about a diet, it’s more about what goes on in my head whilst I’m on the diet. Reflecting on past mistakes and trying to clear them from the path ahead of me to make the journey easier…clearly that concept was a bit beyond him. Actually by this point I’d cottoned on to the fact that he was a complete tool, but still I tried to explain. Don’t ask me why…I think that’s my fat-girl driver kicking into overdrive, which makes me crave the approval of other people even when their opinion shouldn’t matter.
He left the conversation having dismissed our blog as shit despite never reading a word of it, but here’s the thing…I didn’t. I thought about what he’d said, and the Asshole voice tried to chew my ear but you’d have been proud of me – I just closed it down. The thing is, I love the fact that you lot enjoy dipping in and out and some of the chatter helps you in your own journey but I never ever lose sight of the fact that I’m writing this for me.
I read something very profound once from Steve Jobs, who is one of my heroes. What he said was this:
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
Looking back on what I’ve done in the past and talking about it is helping me slowly join the dots. By picking out the patterns which have led to downfall after downfall, I have nowhere to hide going forward, right? If I can see where I went wrong, and I continue to do whatever it is, I’m as good as choosing to do something which I know is going to fail. And you bet your sweet ass that if that’s ever the case, it won’t be a subconscious choice because for the first time I’m not playing at this. I’m the one in control.
It feels to me like I’ve found the balance I need, between a fair amount of soul searching, some insight and self-reflection and a level of honesty with the posse which has been truly liberating. Laughing about stuff isn’t deflecting from the issues, it’s helping me to diffuse the intensity in my own mind. That’s important too, because when it gets too intense I’ve been known to check out and put stuff on the too difficult pile. I don’t even have a too difficult pile this time around, I’m just dealing with stuff as it comes up.
He’d definitely disapprove of this post eh, it’s a monster. But this isn’t the face of a worried woman 🙂
Hi Dee,please don’t stop!! I stumbled across your blog at just the right time for me. I love your sense of humour and I usually laugh out loud at some of the mental pictures you inspire. Keep on trucking,xxxx
Aw, don’t you worry my lovely, I’m going nowhere! If reassurance was needed I got it in spades and I’m not going to change a thing. If the tool who suggested it read some of the messages I got he’d be knocking on the door of the witness protection scheme right now 🙂 🙂
I found your blog about a month ago when I was looking for inspiration and quickly fell in love. After going back and reading about six months worth of posts I feel as if I can relate to your journey. Please don’t stop what you are doing. I love your wordy posts, minimal pictures and stream of thinking. You have inspired me to “get back on the weight loss wagon”. In fact, I am meeting with a trainer this evening to help me get over my fear of the gym. Ignore the silly man who knows not what he says.
Well, what can I say! Thanks so much for your lovely feedback, I’ve been blown away by all the thoughts on here and the emails I’ve had since yesterday, reaching out to reassure me that you’re all happy sharing the journey my way, and it’s helping you too. I’m glad you’re enjoying it, and good luck with your trainer. You’ll have to let us know how you go on 🙂
“…between a fair amount of soul searching, some insight and self-reflection and a level of honesty with the posse…”
And the laughter, don’t forget the laughter! This blog rocks.
Hi Margaret, lovely to meet you, and thank you so much for your lovely feedback, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! It’s great to have you on board 🙂
Bah! The blog is simply marvelous!
Aw thanks! And welcome, I’m glad you’re enjoying the chatter 🙂
The thing is this…every blog is different. Some are wordy, some are lots of photos, some are a combo of both. Your blog is unique in its content and delivery. I like it just the way it is. I love the cute graphic at the top of the page. I love listening to your brain work. I enjoy your blog for the uniqueness of it. Frankly, a lot of blogs are full of pictures and lacking in content. Not yours. Keep it just the way it is and only tweak what you want if and when you feel it’s time. Not because someone told you to, but because you’re ready to do something different whenever you decide you want to spice things up. Like adding your guest post. You did that when you were ready. Don’t sweat what experts think about things they don’t know.
Thank you Tracey…as always I appreciate your support 🙂
Your blog is what you need it to be, not what he needs it to be. People like that make me tired.
I suspect he would have had an expert opinion on pretty much anything Mimi 🙂
Your words have given me that spark I needed to turn things around. I am now going in the right direction and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please don’t change a thing. You write wonderful stories and your honesty is refreshing.
Ah Linda I’m so happy to hear that, good for you! And I’m so glad we helped even a little bit ☺️☺️
I really enjoy reading your blog. I like that it doesn’t have a lot of pictures because then it’s easier for my phone. You are truly an inspiration to me and I have gotten back on track because of reading your blog. Don’t change a thing 🙂
Wow that brought a lump to my throat Cindy…it’s the most awesome feeling in the world to hear that what we chatter about has really helped you find the sweet spot again 🙂 Thanks for your support!
You have been a true inspiration and I always look forward to reading your blog. Thank you for your honesty and humour …. Your blog helped me realise that I am not alone on the road to Skinneyville! ?
Hi Chebs, lovely to meet you 🙂 and thanks so much for your lovely feedback. You’re certainly not alone!
He don’t know he don’t know.
That’s right Fleury…plus, he’s a tool! ?
I can’t figure out how he can judge your blog if he hasn’t read any of it, duh!
I love it and hope you continue even after you lose all the weight, then you can inspire us all with your adventures in maintenance.
I once read that you live life forward but understand it backwards. Sounds similar to what Jobs said.
Yes that’s what I thought! Duh ? And you’re right, I think they mean the same thing. Never thought about it much till I read SJ’s quote but it totally makes sense to me!
For what it’s worth my two cents says don’t change anything. Seriously nothing. This is one of the few blogs I’ve run across that is both interesting and helpful. I don’t care anything about pictures. I want the words, and your experience. And I love the humor. Change NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Aw bless you Tib that’s lovely ? Thank you x