If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you will have seen me talking about some of the things that I’ve been dying to get reacquainted with as I slowly peel away the layers of this fat suit. And I had a bit of a milestone moment on Friday as I sat on a chair in the office, and crossed my legs. I crossed my legs!!! It wasn’t elegant, and I had to take a bit of a run at it but I threw one leg over the other, and with a little help, it stayed put. Imagine that!

I haven’t been able to cross my legs since I can’t remember when. I talked about it in a blog post way back in the early days, when sitting comfortably on anything was a bit of a challenge. When you’re really fat, and the bit between your knees and your boobs consists solely of spare tyres stacked one on top of the other, the mechanics of crossing your legs just don’t work.

I mean sure, you can try but I’m telling you, one leg will not stay on top of the other without a fight…not a chance. You can try ’till your thighs quiver but It’ll spring off again as soon as you take your eye off the ball. It is possible to lock your leg in place using a table leg or some other fixed-to-the-floor object, which you can wedge your foot against, but depending on how heavy your leg is and how determined it is to break free, you need to exercise caution.

I’ve been known to move tables in the middle of a meeting as I wrestled to keep my rogue leg in place, and the one time I wedged my foot against someone else’s chair there was an unfortunate incident as they leaned forward to refill their water glass. As they moved, their chair, which was no longer tethered by the weight of their body made a bid for freedom, encouraged by the weight of my right leg and was no longer in situ as they went to sit back down. I suppose the fact that I copped for the entire contents of their newly refilled glass was my own fault, in hindsight.

I can’t deny I was forced to use a prop on Friday…the end of a desk was conveniently situated next to my chair, so after shifting my body weight onto my left bum cheek I went for it in a very Cupid Stunt-esque way, niftily jamming my foot behind the table leg, and it stayed there. I nearly put my back out in the process but I’m telling you, it was a sweet sweet moment and as I chatted with my colleague about work stuff, i couldn’t help uttering a silent in your face Asshole to the voice inside my head.

As a skinny string bean, I used to be a very accomplished leg-crosser. I could not only cross my legs, I could curl the foot of my crossed leg behind the ankle of my other leg, in a very fetching way. Of course you have to school yourself not to make any involuntary leaps from the chair, like if the fire alarm went off or something otherwise it could end in tears, but only skinny folk can do that so it’s kind of  like a string bean badge of honour. I’ll be all over that this time next year ?

ps…I’ve written a second guest post on the Cranky Fitness website, and if you’d like to read it you’ll find it here

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