I’m not sure whether it’s the really cold weather that prompted us to get serious about making plans for summer, but my friend and I have been dedicating some serious time this weekend to holiday planning. Last year I was lucky enough to have two amazing holidays, but this year I need to scale it back a bit because I’m still trying my best to save up for a new bathroom. Trouble with me is, I want it all and this new bathroom never seems to get any closer given that I keep getting knocked off course by handbags and holidays 🙂
My friend and I are like chalk and cheese. She’s a proper sun-worshipper, and I don’t tolerate the sun very well at all, so beach holidays aren’t really an option. Cruising works well for both of us, plus which it plays to my low boredom threshold in that we wake up somewhere different every day. There’s usually an adult only spa bit where I can settle down with my holiday reading when we’re at sea, whilst my friend curls up on the sun deck with her kindle and her suncream.
I think it’s fair to say that last year I surpassed myself with the amount of food I ate over the course of our two week holiday, I mean seriously. If it was on offer, I ate it and as anyone who’s cruised before will tell you, it’s always on offer. I don’t think my jaws stopped moving for a fortnight, in fact if anyone had been counting calories consumed I reckon records would have been toppled.
Although my friend and I spent our ‘at sea’ days in different bits of the ship, we used to meet for late afternoon drinks right at the back. It was a perfect spot, with glorious views of acres of blue sky and ocean as the sun was going down. Trouble was, the spa lounge where I spent my days was right at the front, and I’m here to tell you that much as I enjoyed those cheeky afternoon cocktails and glorious views, it was a massive effort to drag my sorry ass from one end of the ship to the other. I mean really.
It sounds ludicrous to even say that out loud, but it’s true. I was somewhere around 320lbs, and by the time I’d walked the length of the ship, my knee was bitching at me, my ankles ached and my back would be really sore. I’m not quite sure which of my spare tyres held my centre of gravity, but in any event the effort of holding my buddha body upright was a big ask, and there’s no wonder shit hurt, right?
Shore excursions didn’t come without their challenges either. We visited some awesome places, but whilst my friend (who’s a keen photographer) was busy taking pictures, I’d be constantly on the lookout for a low wall to sit on, or a bench. Anything. Because everything hurt. I felt like I was flirting with disability, which is unforgivable when it’s self-induced.
I know, that folk who have to navigate their life whilst sitting on a mobility scooter because they’re too fat to walk around got to that same crossroads that I did, and I offer up a vote of thanks every day that I came home from that holiday, started my diet and started writing my blog. It’s the only thing that saved me from a life on four wheels.
So, this year’s holiday will be like chalk to last year’s cheese, right? Although we haven’t actually picked our holiday yet there’s a strong possibility that we’ll book another cruise, and there will still be a gaggle of chefs whose mission it is to feed me like I’ve never been fed before. The difference is, this year I’ll be joining my friend as she does her two miles around the promenade deck every morning, and given that I’ll have the luxury of time I’ll probably work up a sweat in the gym too.
What a difference a year makes huh?
