I was chatting to one of my best friends yesterday and our conversation turned to exercise, most especially me and my hurt machine. I mean, that’s going quite well, I’m up to forty minutes now without feeling like I’m going to collapse when I climb off. I’d go so far as to say I don’t even mind the first 15 minutes or so. Steady on, I’m not saying I enjoy it…I just don’t mind it, let’s not get carried away.
When I look back, my dislike of exercise was baked in by the time I hit my teens, despite getting off to a promising start. I remember my gym teacher at junior school, he was a lovely man with infinite patience, especially since I single handedly shattered his dreams of leading the gym team to victory in the annual schools’ competition. I didn’t do anything wrong as such when I joined gym club, in fact I gave it my all.
Sadly, I could barely pull out of a forward roll without grunting. My leotard regularly got swallowed by my butt cheeks, and I had a habit of changing my mind at the last minute whenever I was required to have both feet off the ground at the same time. Given that the majority of our routines demanded that very thing, I’m afraid I rather cramped their style. But what I lacked in ability I made up for in comedy value and enthusiasm, and I was part of the team.
It was a different story at senior school. My PE teacher was the she-devil. And she hated me for having the audacity to be fat. I mean that woman despised me, and there began five years of double-lesson Thursday afternoon hell. I remember standing up on the hockey field shivering my nuts off in the middle of winter, with corned beef legs topped off by a short blue skirt which barely covered my arse. The she-devil insisted on putting me in goal since I pretty much filled the net…I’d never known misery like it.
And to cap it all, you then had to strip bare naked and shower with thirty other girls who were cutting their teeth on the whole bitchy vibe you know? I think I claimed to be on a period every week for at least five years in order to avoid that particular horror. To be fair, there’s no wonder the asshole voice can reel off excuse after excuse why I can’t do shit, he listened to me all those years and I was awesome at excuses.
So I guess that’s why exercise doesn’t top the list of my favourite things to do. Although having said that, last time I was a skinny string bean I enjoyed cycling. And whilst my bike hasn’t made it out of the garden shed for the last six years at least, come summer I’m all over it. Need to lose a bit more first, I mean it’s a sturdy bike but there are limits, right? It wasn’t designed with Shamu in mind.
But I’m getting there, one pound at a time 🙂
Get that bike in for a tune up right now!
I was walking regularly until one day I could barely get out of bed. I had developed plantar fasciitis. I hated having to wait and let it heal. I was losing weight and didn’t want to lose the momentum. I weighed 290 pounds.
I looked at my dusty bike and decided to try. The tires actually held air and I took off for a 5 minute trek. I couldn’t believe how wobbly I was. But I kept trying and now do 20 or more miles without complaint. And I lost 70 pounds.
I am stuck right now and need to get my butt bag on the healthy eating. I enjoy reading your blog.
Hi Sharon, lovely to meet you and I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog…you know what, when the nights get a bit lighter I am going to dig my bike out. I’m really looking forward to it, when I was a string bean I used to ride every day for pleasure not just exercise and I’d love to get back to that. Congratulations on 70lbs lost, that’s awesome!
I think school in general has a lot to answer for, I remember changing schools when I was 7 – didn’t know the system, bullied by one little girl in the playground and so it all began. My overeating started then I think.
Worst memory of humiliation for me? My Dad thought I should have swimming lessons, it was a good drive away so he and my Mum sat up in the seats for the entire lesson, with the other parents. The group were asked to jump out onto the side for each instruction given by the coach- and I couldn’t, so sometimes I stayed in the water, sometimes he gave me a pull up and sometimes I had to wade to the steps then run along to the group, by which time everyone else had jumped back in and got on with it. One time I looked up and realised even my parents were embarrassed by me and I still recall that time with horror and embarrassment. I recall eating at parties, eating one thing and always had an eye on what to eat next, what was that about??
I could never climb out of a swimming pool that way either, I felt quite teary when I read that, it’s like one of those memories that was buried way down in the hope that it wouldn’t jump out and say boo. And your other bit about eating at parties made me chuckle, my auntie once catered for their silver wedding party, and unbeknown to me had done exactly the right amount of plated sandwiches. My nine year old appetite was not satisfied by the allocated portion so I ate another plate, and I swear she went around the house like Miss Marple looking for clues as to who’d eaten an extra sandwich! I think my uncle came under intense scrutiny not to mention suspicion even though he pleaded innocence…whoops 🙂
Oh! The memories! Those showers! OMG! And the only person more hated than the “fat person” was the smelly person! Eek!
Do you know what, when I look back I don’t even know how I survived. One sniff of moisture and my hair turns into a cloud, so that combined with a lumpy body meant I didn’t exactly live the teenage dream, and nobody had invented hair straighteners at that point either…I’m feeling hot just thinking about it!
So, I’m not that much younger than you, Dee. And I never had to shower in the locker room. We did have to change, but there were changing rooms and I used them gracefully. We had Girls PE and Boys PE back then, so it was never too difficult and the girls had a female teacher who, in my case was nice enough.
However, I had no physical ability whatsoever…two left feet and no hand /eye coordination, so I was always the girl picked last. I sucked. So the whole school yard pick thing stayed with me and I hated exercise after high school.
On your hurt machine, if you are up to 40 minutes, which is definitely a BRAVO, Dee thing, I do have a suggestion. Try a 5 minute warm up at regular, normal pace. Then increase your speed to a maximum effort for 30 seconds, then slow down to a normal pace. Do that for 10 minutes, then increase your pace a little more than normal pace for five minutes, then repeat the intervals for 10 minutes, then cool down for 5 minutes. The intervals will produce better results for fat burning and your heart rate. I wouldn’t necessarily do that every time I went on the hurt machine, but I would maybe alternate regular normal pace one day, followed by intervals on the second day and so forth. Changing your rate of speed increases your endurance, makes it a little more interesting and has a much better bang for your buck as far as what you get out of it physically. Just a thought.
I hadn’t thought about doing that Tracy, but it might be something I try…anything to pass the time, because OMG how BORING does it get! I mean, I have a TV on the wall right in front of it but seriously, it’s endless!!
Oh, how i hated PE! Always picked last for teams, never any good at it, if they’d just let me run track by myself i’d have been in better shape and enjoyed it more, instead of deciding exercise is a form of torture.
I know Mimi…utter torture 🙁
I’m there! PE must have been a dream class for kids who already loved tearing around playing in the school yard. It qualifies as part of the One Size Fits All approach to education.
Ghastly. Showers were the death blow – Naked? You’re kidding! – Then in high school my twin & I figured out there were a few electives that could supersede PE. Music, mixed chorus or band; even foreign languages.
As Jo says, I could have benefited from the activity. But Oh well.
You could opt out?? Blimey, here in Blighty it was mandatory, so lying through my teeth was the only road out of gymsville!
I wasn’t particularly large as a child so I didn’t have these experiences but my misery with sport was that I was short sighted and didn’t know it. I was smart enough to get through classes without being able to see the board, but when playing sport I couldn’t see the ball until it was almost hitting my face. So I was terrible at just about every sport, and also very fearful about it. I remember very clearly one substitute teacher accusing me of not trying and for once I stood up for myself (very rare). We argued and she sent me to the principal’s office! I went gladly! And was shaking with indignation as I poured out my troubles, and how I really had been doing my best. He was very sympathetic, and I suspect may have had a word with that teacher.
Sometime later I found I had vision problems, and got glasses. And found that not only could I read the blackboard, but apparently everyone else could all along! Trees weren’t just blobs of green, they had individual leaves even from a distance! And in sport I could see the ball with plenty of time to do something about it. Pity I never improved much. I think I had already been turned off for life. Even now I stick to things like walking and dancing.
Wow Natalie that must have been awesome when you saw properly for the first time. You don’t know what you’re missing if you’ve never had it, right? I hope that teacher had his nuts toasted over a naked flame, prat.
By the way, my skirt was grey and barely covered the grey knickers we had to wear. What a sight I must have looked at 12 stone! Ughh! I want to go back and give that 12 year old a big hug for all the hatred I heaped on myself.
God Jo there are so many things I’d say to my 12 year old self if I could…life lessons I didn’t learn until, well life happened!
Oh boy, this brought back some unhappy memories for me. I was fat in high school, always the last one picked for a team, etc… I would have participated more but the dreaded showers were the reason I made an excuse every week not to participate in gym. The first shower I took the girls started running into everyone’s stall and pulling the curtain open. Being a very shy person I was mortified, being the fattest girl in the class didn’t help. I could have benefited from the exercise but because I dreaded the showers I avoided gym like the plague.
I see you are at 45 minutes now on the machine. That’s great, remember that first day when it completely winded you? Progress!!! I did 30 minutes this morning on my treadmill. I started my diet yesterday and will post next Monday whatever my loss is.
30 minutes right off the bat? That’s great Jo! And yes, I suspected I might not be the only one with crappy memories of the school showers 🙁
One of the things that amazed me when I had kids was that they ENJOYED gym class – even the one who never moved without being forced. I remember PE when I was a kid [shudder]
40 minutes! You are the bomb – great job!
Thanks Cherie! 🙂