I watched a programme last night whilst I was strutting my stuff on the hurt machine, about a staffing agency which provides butlers to very well-to-do clients, and I was astonished by the job description. I mean I thought butlers were all about setting tables and shining shoes…these ones on the TV practically ran their boss’s lives. So anyway I’ve decided that’s why I’m fat…it’s because I don’t have a butler.
Just imagine how easy it would be to be skinny, if someone else was responsible for doing all the chasing around, leaving you to focus on, well just you. None of this running around like a lunatic first thing in the morning trying to get your shit together for the day ahead, finding and pointing something to take for lunch and grabbing breakfast on the fly, oh no.
If I had a butler he’d do all that for me. I could step out of bed, do my twenty minutes on the cross-trainer, take a shower and saunter downstairs, to a perfectly balanced breakfast, and with my perfectly prepared lunch ready and waiting. I’d come home at night to no chores, and a delicious pre-pointed dinner, with no clearing up to be done afterwards and an evening stretching endlessly ahead with nothing to do but make it all about me.
That week I had off work back at the beginning of January was awesome, because that’s literally what I did. I didn’t have to run around doing anything other than putting my own needs first. I slept plenty, cooked everything from scratch and ate well, walked loads with Charlie the dog and fed my soul by reading a couple of books and catching up with friends. It was easy to be me, that week, where most weeks it takes a bit more effort, you know?
This week is shaping up to be another busy one, and it’s hard isn’t it, to focus on yourself when so many different things pull on your time? I should really make more of an effort to get more sleep than I do, especially during the week..that would be a big step forward.
I’ve promised myself I’m going to do two things this week which are all about me. Firstly I’m going to try and get an appointment to see a physio about my knee…since I hurt it a couple of years ago it’s regularly given me hell, and when I walk a lot it seems to really irritate it. Bit worrying given I’ve committed to doing the trek, right? So I need to sort that out.
Secondly, I’m going to have a go at putting my face on every day…taking heed of what my friend said, about looking good on the outside making her feel good on the inside, I’m going to give it a whirl. I know it’s going to bug the shit out of me, but I’ll try it for a week and see how I go. There was a time when I wouldn’t set foot out of the house without my face on, but I’ve always found that the more chins I have, the less inclined I am to accentuate the good bits. There didn’t seem much point you know? But that’s wonky thinking, and as I inch my way out of this fat suit, I’m leaving that behind too.
Shame the coffers won’t stretch to a butler…I’m well up for an easy life. I guess I’ll have to keep right on buying those lottery tickets 🙂
