Well folks, I’ve got to tell you I am knackered. I mean, it’s been a long day anyway but quite apart from the usual early start and late finish, today has really tested me. I can only describe it as foodie torture. Yes, I know that’s a strong word and yes I am sure I want to use it…when the cap fits and all that.
I’ve been delivering some team-building development sessions for one of my client groups, and since we didn’t have the space to accommodate everyone back at the office we’d hired a proper venue. Well…let’s just say these people know how to cater.
We were provided with a really awesome lunch. There was a huge choice of amazing sandwiches and wraps, as well as a ton of nibbles like spring rolls and deep fried breaded cheese wheels, I mean serious fat-girl food. I didn’t know which direction to drool in first. But I survived unscathed, much to the Asshole’s frustration. I made skinny choices and ignored the stuff I really wanted, and I even resisted the temptation to kick the shins of the skinny folk who ate what they fancied without blinking.
The problem started when I clocked the huge bowl of Quality Street on the table next to the coffee machine. It was just sitting there in a ‘help yourself’ kind of way. And I was kind of okay with that until the strawberry cream nestled right on the top of the pile slowly came into focus. They’re my favourites. And that’s what tipped me over the edge from mild irritation at having to walk away from what I really wanted for lunch, and blew me into the path of a full-on craving.
I mean sure, there I was standing in front of about forty people talking about work stuff, but the reality is I was on automatic pilot. You know my head was halfway down the corridor in the coffee area with my face planted in the quality street bowl, just sniffing the strawberry cream. Twice I found an excuse to walk past the bowl and make eye contact, and had that debate with my Asshole voice about whether I should eat it or not. Eating one was never going to be a problem right? Three smart points, bish bash bosh, no worries.
Except I knew I’d struggle to stop at one. I knew, that as soon as that sweet creamy bit of heaven wrapped itself seductively around my taste buds I’d be rooting around that bowl like a pig nosing out truffles within seconds, looking for another one. And then another.
It stole my focus and that pisses me right off. How is it even possible that something can get right inside your head and start controlling your thoughts in that way? The only way I managed to get a grip was to agree with myself that I’d have one as we left the building so I couldn’t go back for more. And that’s what I did, in the end.
Good plan, right? Except I was so delirious from the sugar rush that I almost had a fender bender with another car as I reversed out of my parking space…hmm.
Sounds absolutely delicious!!!!! I think you did amazingly well to have only one. What a great strategy, waiting until you left. Yummy!
I’m still remembering that strawberry cream! It was yummy 🙂
There’s a great plan! If you are going to have a treat, and know you won’t stop at one if given the chance, make sure you don’t have the treat until you are leaving.
Eventually even those skinny string beans will hit age 40 and start having trouble keeping weight off, i’ve seen it over and over again. No, i shouldn’t gloat, it’s not polite. Yes, i secretly do anyway!
Ha ha Mimi that’s wicked! 🙂
I’ve been battling my own inner demon quite a bit the last few days – arg! I am so impressed by how you handled it – and I’m sure, if you’re like me, it didn’t taste nearly so good in the end did it? I’m learning that – it doesn’t always help – but I’m learning
Mine tried to talk me out of the gym today – HARD – but I won that battle – I’ve lost a few others this week – but that one I won 🙂
Aw sounds like you’re having one of those weeks! One foot in front of the other, and repeat, right? You’ll get there 🙂
One strawberry cream is too many, on hundred is never enough.
Natalie you’re a philosopher!!
Dee, I so admire your willpower! A very helpful store here in the US decided to stock a whole range of English treats at Christmas including cadburys chocolate fingers and tins of Quality Street (very nice of them!) Despite knowing my two teenagers would love them I didn’t buy any as I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist. Giving in to temptation is still a major work in progress for me. I admire your strength ?
Bless you, it’s a battle every single day isn’t it?!
Ah! The Strawberry Queen was as sublime as your lips anticipated… unlike the swirly bun thing, last December. Worth it, since you aced the strategizing, too. You: 1, The Asshat: 0 – (Nyah-nyah-nyah!!)
I ‘m hoping some of the String Bean set had indigestion, at least. I worked for years with a hundred tradesmen, v. physical work days, & they were cocky: a score of them ate a breakfast of biscuits & pork-sausage gravy five times a week. The ones who got frighteningly high cholesterol tests became sulky – it was a pleasure to watch.
Nearly 9 mo. of food sobriety now. Lovin you, Fleury
That’s hilarious, how naughty that we would take pleasure in such things…narf narf 🙂