Well folks, I’ve got to tell you I am knackered. I mean, it’s been a long day anyway but quite apart from the usual early start and late finish, today has really tested me. I can only describe it as foodie torture. Yes, I know that’s a strong word and yes I am sure I want to use it…when the cap fits and all that.
I’ve been delivering some team-building development sessions for one of my client groups, and since we didn’t have the space to accommodate everyone back at the office we’d hired a proper venue. Well…let’s just say these people know how to cater.
We were provided with a really awesome lunch. There was a huge choice of amazing sandwiches and wraps, as well as a ton of nibbles like spring rolls and deep fried breaded cheese wheels, I mean serious fat-girl food. I didn’t know which direction to drool in first. But I survived unscathed, much to the Asshole’s frustration. I made skinny choices and ignored the stuff I really wanted, and I even resisted the temptation to kick the shins of the skinny folk who ate what they fancied without blinking.
The problem started when I clocked the huge bowl of Quality Street on the table next to the coffee machine. It was just sitting there in a ‘help yourself’ kind of way. And I was kind of okay with that until the strawberry cream nestled right on the top of the pile slowly came into focus. They’re my favourites. And that’s what tipped me over the edge from mild irritation at having to walk away from what I really wanted for lunch, and blew me into the path of a full-on craving.
I mean sure, there I was standing in front of about forty people talking about work stuff, but the reality is I was on automatic pilot. You know my head was halfway down the corridor in the coffee area with my face planted in the quality street bowl, just sniffing the strawberry cream. Twice I found an excuse to walk past the bowl and make eye contact, and had that debate with my Asshole voice about whether I should eat it or not. Eating one was never going to be a problem right? Three smart points, bish bash bosh, no worries.
Except I knew I’d struggle to stop at one. I knew, that as soon as that sweet creamy bit of heaven wrapped itself seductively around my taste buds I’d be rooting around that bowl like a pig nosing out truffles within seconds, looking for another one. And then another.
It stole my focus and that pisses me right off. How is it even possible that something can get right inside your head and start controlling your thoughts in that way? The only way I managed to get a grip was to agree with myself that I’d have one as we left the building so I couldn’t go back for more. And that’s what I did, in the end.
Good plan, right? Except I was so delirious from the sugar rush that I almost had a fender bender with another car as I reversed out of my parking space…hmm.
