Hand on heart, I can honestly say that one of the most satisfying things in the world for me where our blog is concerned, is when I get a thought on one of the posts or a message from someone who’s using the stuff we chatter about to help them work through their own demons. I’ve struggled with yo-yo dieting for so many years, but since I started writing my thoughts down and working through them with you lot I’ve had more light bulb moments than I can count, and it’s awesome to know that you guys pick up on stuff that can help you too.
So, you can blame our very own Fleury Knox for this one…Fleury once mentioned she was a dab hand at patchwork, and she’s been busy stitching together some of the themes across a handful of different posts. In doing so, I think she’s unlocked another bit of the enigma. Probably one of the more important ones too, at least for me. I’ve talked a lot about sliding up and down the scale in a continual loop, but Fleury sent me an email this week which pretty much stopped me in my tracks.
There were a lot of nuggets in there to be fair, but the one that resonated the most with me was around what happens when you actually get to Skinny Town. Take me for example. Once my head’s in the right place and I’ve got the bit between my teeth, I can lose weight. I’m there now, doing it, and I’m grateful…a long way to go yet, probably at least another 12 months but I’m motoring.
It’s a buzz, you know? People are starting to notice. I’m starting to be able to wear different clothes, and I no longer feel like my chins are trying to swallow my head when I lay down. The fact that I can walk more, and wrestle on a daily basis with the cross-trainer even with my still super-sized arse makes my blood pump harder and my adrenaline flow…it’s exciting. The compliments, the encouragement, and the attention is exhilarating, even more so if I remember rightly as you near the finish line and you start to flirt with your elusive goal weight.
But what about when you’ve settled into Skinny Town, and the fanfare dies down. What then? When the reality sinks in that if you want to stay there, you’ve got to dine on dust for the rest of your life, otherwise your muffin top will gradually re-emerge from the top of your pants and you’ll have a one way ticket back to square one. I’ve been there. Many times. People stop noticing, or commenting…your achievement is still monumental, but it’s so yesterday…the world has moved on.
Fleury said “My only insight as a teen at Weight Watchers meetings was that we were there in the cheap seats, the fat people; somewhere beyond, outside of that purgatory were the Elect. Referred to mysteriously as Maintenance.” I’ve got to tell you that made me laugh out loud, because I’ve been there too, watching those skinny string beans who get more points than you sashay around the meetings in their kitten heels, with their collar bones on show and looking for all the world like the cat that got the cream skimmed milk 🙂
I’ve been at goal weight for ten minutes, a couple of times in my life but with the exception of one time where a crush on Mr Muscle kept me skinny for almost a year, I’ve never been allowed near the maintenance corner because as soon as I hit goal, the diet is toast.
One thing I know to be true, is that it takes your head longer to get used to Skinny Town than your body, which in my experience is only too happy to jump headlong into new clothes and start snapping selfies 24/7. So, for all of you who read the blog who’ve already arrived and happen to be waiting for the rest of us in Skinny Town, firstly congratulations on getting there, you look virtually amazing…but what’s your plan?
What’s your plan to help you stay there? As Fleury points out, we’re all going to need one…for me it’s a way away yet, but hey this time I’m not going to be caught with my pants down, right?
This is good. I’ve been at goal weight since June. I’ve lost about 10 lbs. since June and kept it off, so I’m able to say with confidence that I’m finding success in maintenance. The struggles on this side are different though. Emotionally I’ve had to have at least two or three checks with myself because my hyper vigilant focus on weight loss was pushing me too hard and if I wasn’t losing weight, I wasn’t happy. When the weather got cold and I wasn’t riding my bike every other day, I panicked that I would get fat. When I hurt my back last month, I nearly had a heart attack for fear of getting fat again. The emotional roller coaster is a constant struggle. That said, the difference between this time and every other time I’ve gotten to my goal weight is that I have worked through these stressful times. I continue to learn about myself and focus on health and nutrition as my new way of life. I am not arrogant and say, “It’s ok, you can eat that” with every ‘cheat’ food. I always track everything – good and bad. If I want a handful of chocolate chips, I eat them and keep track of them, making sure I stay within my calories for the day. During the holidays I did over do it, but I’m not beating myself up about it. That’s the difference between THIS time and every other time. You just have to stick with it. You don’t arrive at your goal and say, “I’m here!” and go back to doing things the way you used to.
Tracey you’re doing amazingly well…I’m so proud for you, for not bouncing right back up the scale. I can understand that fear of regaining, and the panic when you can’t exercise, but it sounds like you’re doing everything the right way. When I step over the Skinny Town county line I’ll be looking to you for help in the next phase, you and the rest of our skinny posse! D x
Love you, Dee!!! You are such an encouragement. <3
Get used to doing two things. One, complimenting yourself, so when you are tempted you can take a good look at what you’ve accomplished and tell yourself how great you are to have done that and you aren’t going back now. Two, asking close friends (or your posse) for an “attagirl” when you need it to keep you on track.
When the fanfare dies down, throw your own party or ask someone close to do it, and return the favor when the friend needs it. After all, we all need fresh motivation sometimes.
We do Mimi…external validation important to me, and I think I only really realised that when this particular light bulb went on!
Hi I voted today :).. It is the double whammy of being fat and getting old. My epiphany moment. I realized I could be fat or I could be old. Not both. It is too bloody HARD to be fat and getting older hasn’t been easy either. The fat hurries along the demise of the physical body. It will keep me on the straight and narrow. The knees and joints just hurt all of the time etc. NO LONGER willing to pay that price. Who wants to need help in their 50’s because they are too fat to walk or whatever? Tie down loved ones because you cannot function? It was a sobering realization. I quit. Just the same as one would quit smoking or drinking. I quit being fat. Once I made the decision it has been easy. I literally changed in a moment from that decision. I don’t care what people think or say. Not their life. Their compliments or lack there of are not a concern. MY health is. 🙂 Anyway it makes maintaining easier as I think about every bite and I don’t resent that it is a lifestyle and it is for the rest of my life. I just learned this later than others… PS I also made new social groups that have similar outlooks and read blogs to stay inspired. 🙂
Well good for you Autumn. I adore the expression ‘I quit being fat’…that’s genius. So did I…I QUIT!!!
Fleury is obviously a genius [blowing you a kiss dear!]
What a great thought to consider. It’s so true right? You get in shape and feel good but then it’s just regular life and no one is telling you how amazing you are all the time like they do when you’re first approaching goal. So how to stay motivated?
I don’t know the answer. But I do know that I’m on this journey for a different reason than I’ve had in the past. It’s not about being attractive, wearing the right clothes, having other people like what they see. Not this time. This time it’s about ME. Feeling good. Being healthy. Being ABLE.
I don’t think I need anyone else to notice or care this time. This time I just want to let go of all that fat girl baggage – the heavy breathing when you need to go up stairs [or heaven forbid more than one flight] , the struggle to cross my legs, or buckle on a plane, the disapproving looks from the doctor, the shopping in plus size. Just to feel normal. Just to feel like I am doing what’s right for ME. Just to be able to keep up with whomever I please 🙂
I think that will be enough this time. Crossing my fingers.
Oh lord it’s enough for me too Cherie…I can’t wait to cross my legs! Make it gloriously unashamedly about YOU…it’s about time 🙂
[smooch] – Cherie, you doll! All that hand-wringing was about insights tossed in here!! V.productive, if kind of distressing…like some sort of past life regression therapy. & tell me Dee, are you hooky-spooky?? “It takes your head longer to get used to Skinny Town than your body.” Now that’s just eerie -what a great post!
Yes, YES, guys: this time, the proviso and the power is, “MINE-MINE-MINE. “
How funny…no I’m not hooky spooky…my broomstick is just for show 🙂
Oh! Blimey, I’m choked up. I stumbled on “you lot” by accident, probably due to a guardian angel. Excuse my OAR being stuck in so much. I am on a fucking mission here.
Love You Loa, Fleury
Ha ha your oar is always welcome in these parts Fleury…you’re a big part of it all 🙂