So it occurred to me as I was dragging my knackered old body around the office this morning that I may just have overdone it a bit yesterday. I know people tell you to listen to your body, but to be fair, when you’ve got an Asshole voice that lives inside your head and has a PhD in giving you a bum steer, sometimes that’s not as easy as it sounds.
Yesterday was a tough day in a lot of respects, I was supporting someone important to me through a crap situation and as well as being emotionally quite draining there was a lot of sitting about, on chairs which probably weren’t designed with comfort as their primary consideration. So when I finally got home at the end of the day I was tired, and my back was really sore. I’d eaten barely anything all day and my energy was low.
All I wanted to do was to collapse in the armchair, have something to eat and go to bed, but I hit the override button on every reason why that was the right thing to do by insisting to myself that despite my crappy day, I still had to put in three miles of walking before I could allow myself to relax. Cut myself some slack? No chance.
Off I went. Pitch black outside, and raining but whatever…no excuses, I’m on a schedule. There’s a mountain in Cuba with my name all over it, and I’m on one…got to get fit. No slacking allowed. By the time I got back, my back was screaming at me, my dodgy knee was making it’s presence felt and I had a banging headache to boot. Even the dog looked pissed off, since all he wanted to do was curl up on my knee and have his tummy tickled.
So, I ate supper and went directly to bed afterwards, right? No of course I didn’t…I said I would do ten minutes on the hurt machine every morning and every night. Cut myself some slack? No, and don’t ask again…we don’t accept excuses any more, that’s the old Dee. I finally went to sleep feeling sore but hardcore, you know? And not a little bit smug…look at me, bringing it home even after the day I’ve had.
So this morning, walking was painful. Crossing the office was painful. Getting out of my chair was painful. The ten minutes I spent on the cross-trainer this morning passed by in a blur of ouches, and the two miles walk down to the shop and back that I’d planned at lunchtime to try and incorporate some exercise into my day looked more unappealing than I can tell you. But I did it anyway, because I’m on a schedule.
I loped into the house tonight like someone who’d just graduated from the ministry of silly walks. I can’t place my left foot down too hard on the floor because the gremlin in my knee with the razor blade stabs me if I do. I can’t fully stand up straight because my back’s too sore, and if I lift my right leg too high, I squeal.
The thought occurred to me as I was getting out of the car that I was a mile short of my daily walking target and I should do a quick march up the hill and back to make up the deficit…finally, and not before time, the voice of reason stepped in. And I now get it.
There’s a difference between an excuse and a reason. Pushing yourself through a stiff muscle and building on established momentum is fine. Being too bull-headed to flex the schedule because you’re afraid saying no makes you a slacker is not fine.
Tonight I’m going to cut myself some slack…I’m not walking the extra mile. I didn’t miss it out, I just didn’t do it yet. I’ll tack it onto a day where not everything hurts, and perhaps tomorrow I won’t be walking like a weirdo. I’m learning as I go along, and today I learned to listen to a different voice…they don’t all give Asshole advice.
Can’t slack for long though…today I got the confirmation I’ve been hoping for – I’m on the trek…I’m going to Cuba…WHOOP WHOOP!!!!
That’s what i had to learn with my shoulder. It wasn’t just sore, it was injured, and pushing it would lead to nowhere good. It’s okay to step back and walk more gently at a slower pace, or in my case, not lift my shoulder in ways that hurt until it is healed. That’s not quitting, that’s continuing sensibly.
I agree…I get it now. Today I’m much better, but I wouldn’t have been if I’d pushed myself last night. It’s all a learning curve! 🙂
Our Dee is made of seasoned oak!
Well reasoned, you don’t want to learn the hard way, how many days of exerc- I mean, activity it would cost if you got injured or ill.
I second the reminder from Cherie about anti-inflamatories aka pain pills DON’T go thinking over-the-counter pain med is for wimps! Common mistake. Your screaming body parts could use the above to relieve inflammation (!) & allow them to heal.
That’s the chatechism from my one-time chiropractor/holistic practitioner.
Take good care, now. You’re probably doing everything right, & there’s still gonna be some holes we should guard against falling into.
I’m already peeled down to go exercise on the bike (again), then walk my 1.5 mi. street, because there’s no other claim on my day today… & because this week has already featured 2 restaurant meals…. I don’t feel confident every time i eat out.
No cake (or even rice) has been jeopardised in the keeping of these social obligations.
You go girl…when you eat out avoiding cake and rice, well…I can see your halo shining from here! x
Dee, I hope you’re feeling better soon!! There is a difference between sore and pain. Pain you rest and take care of. Sore, you suck it up and deal with. Learning the difference takes time. I’ve struggled with knee pain for a very long time. I have arthritis and was able to learn to manage life with my knee after I did a lot of work on flexibility and mobility. Impact exercise hurts. So no running for me. And walking is ok as long as I’m not in pain. Hang in there and don’t over do it.
Thanks Tracey…hopefully today will be better 🙂
I have so much trouble with this. I know that I often give up easily, that I slack off at the slightest excuse. So when I am being good, I don’t know if what I have is a reason or an excuse. Am I sick ENOUGH to skip exercise? Will going for a walk be bad ENOUGH for my knee that I shouldn’t do it? I generally coddle myself, but feel very guilty.
It’s odd isn’t it, like we’re missing the needle on the barometer. We’ll learn how to know Natalie, if we keep working at it, right?
Don’t set yourself up to fail. I know you have plans – but plans change to fit circumstances – and if you overdo enough you’ll not be able to continue for a ridiculous healing time – good job getting that!
I will say the elliptical helps my back and loosens me up – but watch that knee – and honestly the impact of walking outside can’t really be good when you’re struggling with that – I have impact issues myself – I can do exercise bike and elliptical a zillion times better than treadmill or walking outside – I still like to do that when I can – but I feel it and it hurts.
I know in england they sell only tiny packets of painkillers LOL – unlike the US where we buy tubs – but now is the time for something! An anti-inflammatory sounds like it’s in order!
You’re not kidding Cherie, a bucket of pills would be heavenly right about now! D x
WHOOP WHOOP INDEED!!!
I know!!! 🙂