So, this Friday just gone was the day apparently where loads of people will have fallen off the dieting wagon – it said so in the Daily Mail, so it must be true! Actually, whilst I think even they’d agree that many of their articles are written by someone who’s one sandwich short of a picnic, this one gave me a real twinge, because I’ve been that person, so many times. Pretty much every year when I think about it although to be fair I was never part of that statistic – it’s rare that I made it past Wednesday.
I wish I had a pound for every time I’ve looked back after another failed attempt, and felt gutted as I wondered how much nearer to Skinny Town I’d have been if I’d just kept my head in the game. I wonder how many people are out there tonight, Sunday, thinking that they can write this week off as a false start, but tomorrow is it, you know? Monday 11th, the real deal. We’ve got the practise run out of the way and we’re ready to do it for real now…come on!
I know as they go to bed tonight they will be absolutely determined to do it this time. They’ve probably over-indulged a bit over the weekend because you know, from Monday this is it, no more treats. They’ll be full of hope and optimism that this time will be different and for some it really might be. But for some it won’t and having read that article, those are the ones I can’t help thinking about tonight.
It’s very easy to convince yourself as you sit there with a full belly, pleasantly stuffed from all the last minute treats you’ve scoffed, that you’re capable of being in control, and your lack of willpower won’t get the better of you. Funny how it’s not as easy when you’re a couple of days in, and in the grip of a craving for something you know you shouldn’t have, right? You’re vulnerable near the beginning, because your investment so far is too easy to write off. It goes right back to what we talked about yesterday.
Some of the people starting their real diet tomorrow wouldn’t be folk we need worry about you know? To them, starting a diet every Monday is a way of life…a hobby almost. Diet Monday to Thursday, splurge over the weekend, laugh about it with your friends and cut back again Monday. My friend’s mum goes to fat class religiously every week and has lost and regained the same pound pretty much every week for the last two years. She doesn’t lose any sleep over it, it’s just what she does and she’s perfectly happy.
But for every one of those, there’ll be someone who feels like shit, whose self esteem is in tatters, who knows they need to lose weight and when the wheels come off in the first couple of days they’ll eat their anguish and feel like they failed, again. Sometimes, no matter how rock bottom you feel, it’s nigh on impossible get those first baby steps safely under your belt if your head’s not in the sweet spot.
I wish they knew there was all this support here, just waiting for them. We’ve all been there and worn the T-shirt haven’t we? It’s an intensely personal thing, which is why I couldn’t bear to turn into one of those irritating people who say if I can do it you can…I’ve heard those words from others, and they don’t help if you’re galloping away from Skinny Town on a horse called Failure. I wonder what would help.
As I was fixing to start, I wrote down a list of all the reasons I hated being fat. All the things I wanted to do but couldn’t because of my size. All the bits of my body that hurt because I was too heavy. All the experiences I’d had which had been spoiled because I was preoccupied with how fat I felt, or looked, or what other people might think about my size.
I made notes about the constant fear I had about bumping into people I hadn’t seen since I was skinny and what they’d think. Bumping into Mr Muscle…OMG the horror of that thought. It was a long old list, and I read it over and over till I could recite it backwards. And of course, I blogged. I’m still blogging…and I found you guys…you’re my silver bullet.
So what about all of you? How did you get started..? On the off chance that there’s someone reading this, who’s taking those first tentative steps and feeling a bit wobbly…sharing ideas within the posse about what worked for all of us might just help?
Over to you 🙂
Hi all- interesting topic, what is it that ‘flips the switch’? I did WW about 4 years ago and got to within a pound of goal before a holiday. Felt amazing on the holiday, thought I would get back and lose what I put on but….
Then 2014 went to SW and lost a stone before a big wedding then stopped going….
Now back to SW and trying- head in right place and realistically I know to maintain , when i get there, I will have to go to class regularly. I can’t do it on my own. In some ways maintaining is harder than losing- when losing and folk start to notice, you get positive reinforcement every time someone comments on how much you have lost, how good you look etc but once you have been there a few weeks, you are on your own and it is all too easy to let old habits creep back in unless the changes you make while losing become new habits.
I like the blog, it helps to read other folks thoughts and ideas, thanks
Hey Sue, welcome to the posse! Isn’t it amazing how so many people do exactly the same thing, over and over! You’re in good company, more of us than I can count can tell exactly the same story, and I’m glad you’re with us on the journey…good luck with SW, I look forward to hearing about how this time you’re doing it for good 🙂
My every diet started on Monday except the one that stuck, ten years ago. It was the Wednesday i realized i could do it, and i did. That past failures didn’t matter, i knew how to eat correctly, lose weight, and keep it off, and i was going to do so, end of discussion.
Well Mimi, isn’t that interesting…bucking the trend was your silver bullet? Calling this time out as different from day one, that might just be genius 🙂
…it’s me again. I do know something, I got it here in this forum: It pays off double when you leave chips, snacks & cookies in the store & not bring them home with the groceries. Salty-greasy-starchy snacks never stopped being ATTRACTIVE, I walk thru the grocery store NOTICING them, in their festive bright packages. But in the store they only get one chance to seduce me – once they’re poised on the shelves & counters of my kitchen, I have to remake the virtuous choices over and over, at all hours.
Jo, do i know what you are saying! It’s exhausting to jump start your mindful eating twice a month, but in 52 weeks you will be ahead by a bit. Not further in the red. Claire says, Don’t let a rough day become 2. Yours, Fleury Knox
That’s really sound advice Fleury…shopping on a full tummy and turning a cold shoulder to the trigger foods. You know what, when I need a boost I just look back over all the chatter and there are some proper nuggets of wisdom amongst it all! x
Ah, bless you. Beautiful. I’m with you on that, hope some other kindred spirit gets fresh hope today, & actually gets to feel the steel wheels under them – and starts to see the scenery change outside the window….
Love, Fleury
Wouldn’t it be lovely if they did…and even better if they came and told us!
OH!!! And I totally forgot to tell you. I saw that cartoon a couple weeks ago and laughed so hard. Too too funny!!!
Isn’t it!
Dee, wow, this hits home!!! From 2003 – 2013, I was on a New Years, “You need to lose weight, do it now” resolution. Some years lasted a few months, others a few weeks and some a few days. In 2013 I struggled for 7 months to figure it out. Seven months of back and forth, a fractured thumb, major insecurities about what I could do, doubting my ability to really make the change. It was truly arduous. It wasn’t until I had a trainer who I really clicked with that I finally was able to make the changes I needed to make. Having someone to support you in your efforts really makes the difference. I’d like to think that we’ve done that here with the network of people we have encountered on our own journeys. We encourage each other and cheer each other own, hold each other up when we are down. Believe in yourself. That’s the first big step. The next step is to literally take the step. Do it. And the third step is to stick with it. Perseverance. One step after another.
That’s the hardest bit isn’t it, believing you can do it. I’m doing it because I believe I can…when I didn’t, I couldn’t. Sounds simple doesn’t it, but we all know better than that.
I wish there was an easy answer to this! For me what has worked this time is attending a Weight Watchers meeting every week. I know I should be able to do this by myself but I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t and needed the support of fellow strugglers! My group is an extremely friendly group of men and women of different sizes, ages and backgrounds all sharing our stories and supporting each other during the tough weeks and celebrating successes. I made a commitment to myself to attend every week, even if I had been bad, and I have. I have been attending meetings since March and I’m now 4lbs away from my goal weight. Another key thing for me is taking it day by day! If I’ve had a rough day I make sure it doesn’t turn into two. It is never easy but absolutely worth it to be nearly 40lbs lighter x
Congratulations Claire that’s amazing…I bet you look and feel fabulous! There’s a bunch of us quite a way behind you but we’re coming…drinks are on you, right?! D x
Thanks Dee. I feel like a different person and have much more confidence. But I know this is a lifelong thing and when I get to my ‘goal’ weight I know it will be just as tough staying there. Happy to buy you a drink if you are ever in Chicago!
Yes, staying there is the bit I’ve always struggled with! And I might just take you up on that one of these days!
Yes, I received my email today, hope everyone else did.
I wish I could help others get started but unfortunately I can’t get myself started or should I say I can’t stick with it. For me it is like a switch that gets flipped and absolutely nothing can tempt me when I’m in the zone. But I can search for it for months once it gets flipped back. I wish for it to come back, I pray, but it’s so elusive. I’ve tried the “fake it til you make it” but I can only manage a week or two. When the switch is flipped there is a “knowing” that you get – nothing can stop me. So why do I play with fire and let it go?Grrr. I envy you your confidence in “knowing” that you’ve “got this”. I’m still searching.
I hear you, and I’ve been exactly where you are so many times which is why I’ll never take for granted where I’m at right now. We’re all rooting for you Jo…lets hope that in and amongst the chatter is something which helps 🙂
Thanks Dee 🙂
Hopefully all Skinny Mail issues resolved today..? Please tell me if you know different! D x