So, this Friday just gone was the day apparently where loads of people will have fallen off the dieting wagon – it said so in the Daily Mail, so it must be true! Actually, whilst I think even they’d agree that many of their articles are written by someone who’s one sandwich short of a picnic, this one gave me a real twinge, because I’ve been that person, so many times. Pretty much every year when I think about it although to be fair I was never part of that statistic – it’s rare that I made it past Wednesday.
I wish I had a pound for every time I’ve looked back after another failed attempt, and felt gutted as I wondered how much nearer to Skinny Town I’d have been if I’d just kept my head in the game. I wonder how many people are out there tonight, Sunday, thinking that they can write this week off as a false start, but tomorrow is it, you know? Monday 11th, the real deal. We’ve got the practise run out of the way and we’re ready to do it for real now…come on!
I know as they go to bed tonight they will be absolutely determined to do it this time. They’ve probably over-indulged a bit over the weekend because you know, from Monday this is it, no more treats. They’ll be full of hope and optimism that this time will be different and for some it really might be. But for some it won’t and having read that article, those are the ones I can’t help thinking about tonight.
It’s very easy to convince yourself as you sit there with a full belly, pleasantly stuffed from all the last minute treats you’ve scoffed, that you’re capable of being in control, and your lack of willpower won’t get the better of you. Funny how it’s not as easy when you’re a couple of days in, and in the grip of a craving for something you know you shouldn’t have, right? You’re vulnerable near the beginning, because your investment so far is too easy to write off. It goes right back to what we talked about yesterday.
Some of the people starting their real diet tomorrow wouldn’t be folk we need worry about you know? To them, starting a diet every Monday is a way of life…a hobby almost. Diet Monday to Thursday, splurge over the weekend, laugh about it with your friends and cut back again Monday. My friend’s mum goes to fat class religiously every week and has lost and regained the same pound pretty much every week for the last two years. She doesn’t lose any sleep over it, it’s just what she does and she’s perfectly happy.
But for every one of those, there’ll be someone who feels like shit, whose self esteem is in tatters, who knows they need to lose weight and when the wheels come off in the first couple of days they’ll eat their anguish and feel like they failed, again. Sometimes, no matter how rock bottom you feel, it’s nigh on impossible get those first baby steps safely under your belt if your head’s not in the sweet spot.
I wish they knew there was all this support here, just waiting for them. We’ve all been there and worn the T-shirt haven’t we? It’s an intensely personal thing, which is why I couldn’t bear to turn into one of those irritating people who say if I can do it you can…I’ve heard those words from others, and they don’t help if you’re galloping away from Skinny Town on a horse called Failure. I wonder what would help.
As I was fixing to start, I wrote down a list of all the reasons I hated being fat. All the things I wanted to do but couldn’t because of my size. All the bits of my body that hurt because I was too heavy. All the experiences I’d had which had been spoiled because I was preoccupied with how fat I felt, or looked, or what other people might think about my size.
I made notes about the constant fear I had about bumping into people I hadn’t seen since I was skinny and what they’d think. Bumping into Mr Muscle…OMG the horror of that thought. It was a long old list, and I read it over and over till I could recite it backwards. And of course, I blogged. I’m still blogging…and I found you guys…you’re my silver bullet.
So what about all of you? How did you get started..? On the off chance that there’s someone reading this, who’s taking those first tentative steps and feeling a bit wobbly…sharing ideas within the posse about what worked for all of us might just help?
Over to you 🙂
