Twas the night before Christmas, the cupboards were bare,
the food shop is looming, but why should I care?
I can’t eat the good stuff, the stuff that I crave,
‘cos I’ve promised the posse that I will behave 🙁
The Asshole is laughing, he’s biding his time,
he thinks he’ll persuade me to slip into crime.
I admit it, I’m sulking, my thoughts are not good,
as I think of the things I would eat if I could.
I want cheese balls and ice cream, pralines and cream,
pigs in their blankets, and stuffing supreme.
I’m madder than mad, that the size of my arse
means for this year, and next year my plate will be sparse.
My stocking is empty of chocolate and treats,
in light of the fact that I’m pounding the streets.
to remove all this blubber that covers my bum,
and break out the string bean that I shall become.
It SUCKS that on Christmas I have to be good,
but that’s what I promised to do, if I could.
And do it I will, have no fear of that!
(just forgive me for being a grumpy old twat.)
I’ll scowl at the chocolate, and snarl at the pud,
Stick to lean stuff and green stuff and do what I should.
And after it’s over I’ll grin like a fool
That the Asshole was beaten, and I’m still cool 🙂
Have an awesome Christmas everyone…to my occasional readers, my regular lurkers and all of you who join in the chatter on a daily basis, I couldn’t walk this path on my own so I’m sending lots of love to you all with grateful thanks for your glorious company xxx
