One of the things I’ve always been quite good at, is making decisions and then doing what I’ve said I’m going to do. You know like some people talk about what they’re going to do but what they actually mean is, I might do it, one day, if the Moon is in Saturn and the stars all align. It’s not really a statement of intent, so much as a thought spoken out loud. With me, by the time the words make it out of my head they’ve generally been mulled over and I’m pretty much there in terms of deciding to go for it.
Until I understood the difference between my approach and the thinking out loud approach that some of my friends adopt, it used to drive me bat shit crazy. I thought we’d agreed, you know..? That we were going to do this..? Ah yes, well I’m definitely thinking about it…for those of you who have gotten to know me over the last few months you’ll appreciate that the patience fairy was a bit parsimonious with the magic dust and patience isn’t my strongest suit.
I was chatting to a friend of a friend over the weekend, who just happens to be one of these blue-sky thinkers, and whose daydreams are very much pitched as reality. Had my friend not forewarned me about him I would have left the conversation feeling exhausted at the thought of how much he was going to pack in over the next year, but as it was, my thoughts drifted as he rattled on about this and that. And as I was trying to nod and look interested in all the right places I got to thinking.
I’ve made some bold and cheeky statements over the last few months to you guys, about what I was going to do, right? But we’ve chatted about so much, I got to wondering about whether I’ve followed through with them all. I felt the need to take a quick inventory because I’d hate to turn into one of those people who is known for talking the talk but not walking the walk you know? I have a bad feeling about this, my palms have all of a sudden got a bit sweaty and I suspect a couple of my good intentions might have slipped under the net.
Lets start with the positives. Visualisation, portion control, goals and skinny choices…big tick in all those boxes. I’m all over those…I’ve even found myself choosing a cookie with a broken corner, which made me laugh…first time ever. There’s still no prince charming on the horizon – I mean come on, someone at least send me a tall dark handsome bloke desperate to ravish me so I can be tested! I continue to work on spending my food budget carefully, and I’m planning better across the week. So in all those areas, I’m doing good…I’m walking the walk.
Except, I’m not walking the real walk. Walking half an hour every day, that’s something I said I was going to do when I got back from my trip…whoops. Epic fail. I haven’t been doing it. So, how many excuses do you need? I could probably rattle off at least a half dozen…I hold a black belt in excuses related to diet and exercise, I mean come on I’ve been honing my skills for a lifetime. But the fact is, I just haven’t pushed myself. And that’s a rubbish effort. There’s no wonder it doesn’t feel like a habit yet, I think I’ve only done it twice.
I can imagine what my granny would have said…yes well, all fur coat and no knickers, that one…that’s a good old Yorkshire expression for someone who’s all show. I don’t think that’s me…I don’t think I’m all show. But all the things I’ve said I was going to do were things I put out there as a way of supporting this journey, and they’re not going to pack much of a punch if I don’t follow through are they?
So…I’ve ‘fessed up. And tomorrow, I re-boot and start walking 🙂
