Oh boy…where do I start with this one. So I’m having a really bad day. Actually no that’s not entirely accurate, my day was fine, it’s more my evening that’s gone to shit. I’ll spare you the detail, but safe to say I’m in the middle of one of the toughest weeks of my life. I’m dealing with the aftermath of someone else’s bad choices, not my fault but a massive strain nonetheless and under normal circumstances I’d have vaporised at least a couple of packets of hobnobs as soon as I got in from work.
It’s a familiar pattern and I know you guys will get it. Right now, as I type this I’m locked horns with the asshole in my mind who, unhelpfully keeps drawing my attention to the five packets of freeze dried sour cherries dipped in dark chocolate which are sitting in the door of the fridge. 15 points per pack, 5 points per 8 cherries. An occasional treat. Up to now, no problem. I can’t always get them, they’re a luxury that I adore and when I saw them I bought in bulk…after all I’m in the sweet spot right? They’ve been in there a month at least. No worries…until there’s cause to worry. I’ve come to bed, because I’m on the ropes after taking a proper battering from the asshole tonight.
I’m so used to eating my feelings. Strangely, I couldn’t eat what I’d cooked for dinner – slow braised pulled beef with broccoli. The dog got lucky, in fact he probably thinks it’s his birthday. He’s full fat and happy, snoring beside me on the bed as I write this. I reckon I’ve got an hour before the effects of him eating human food work their way through his furry little pipes so I’m hoping I fall asleep quickly tonight. You know the way that cows are threatening the ozone layer by emitting regular bursts of methane..? My dog makes them look like rank amateurs. If I were a betting woman I’d put money on his ozone hole being considerably bigger than theirs. And given his insistence on spooning me on top of the duvet as I sleep, it’s safe to assume it’s going to be a stormy night.
So I had no appetite for dinner, but all I want to do now is to go eat my own bodyweight in freeze dried chocolate dipped cherries. I’m weathering the asshole-driven tornado for now…I came to bed, brushed my teeth twice and started writing. I’m in lockdown, but it’s the double-cheese-and-spring-onion sandwich dance all over again. I know it’ll pass, but right now the desire to throw my PJs back on and go downstairs to eat every last one of them is intense. I’m laid in bed fantasising about the bitter chocolate melting on my tongue and the way in which the sour cherry would make my ears laugh.
But I’m also thinking about how shitty I’ll feel if I cave in. It might even tip me right out of the sweet spot…who knows if I’d be able to climb back in again. And, I’d have to tell you I’d done it.
I can’t do that. You’re making me accountable, you rotten lot.
Thank you. Because I’m not sure I’d be this strong without you 🙂
Go girl. So strong. My inner voice has been winning of late and I am going for a big play which is to stop sugar all together as clearly I am addicted and it’s such a binge trigger for me. This requires me to ignore my husband chomping his way through his body weight in Toblerone each night (and he doesn’t gain an ounce). But strength is so much more satisfying than girth!
*GROANS* oh how I love toblerone!! Wow that’s a big commitment…stop sugar altogether, sheesh. Still, if it chops the binges off at the knees it’s worth it right? Have you read Sean Anderson’s blog? There’s a link to it on my interesting stuff page (you might have even found me through his blog, we’re linked to each other in the blog space) and he’s been off sugar for a couple of years, works brilliantly for him. Let us all know how you go…do you have a ‘D-day’ in mind? D x
It started yesterday! I managed it once for 12 months and felt so much better! Yes it is how I found your blog. Hx
Good morning/evening. I’m doing an end run around an anomaly, again. Comments have not materialized (hey, i look fwd to reading them!) plus, the “This Too Shall Pass” instalment disappeared completely – oops, was it intentionally excised?
Quite likely user error! I m accepting any suitably dumbed-down suggestions. -Fleury
Evening lovely…Nope, the post is still there! And I don’t understand why you can’t see your comments…I promise they’re here, I’m looking right at them on my screen! How spooky that they come and go…gremlins again do you think..? D x
can now…. apparently whingeing (?) makes everything suddenly materialize? -and there i stand with two helpings in my fists!
Hey, isn’t it a revelation? i LOVE the idea kernels from you each day ((NO pressure!)) popping like popcorn in this forum of Possettes.
fleury
Ha, nothing like pressure!
Dee, I get it!!! I went to the doctor the other day and he told me to start eating prunes and to take Metamucil to help with my digestive issues. Prunes are a TON of calories. So, now I have to budget them in as part of my caloric intake. I like prunes, that’s not the problem. The problem is I don’t want ONE serving of prunes, want the entire package. Evey last bite. I want it. There’s something about dried fruit that makes me go crazy. Raisins, prunes, dried apricots. I love them. But one serving is a lot of calories!!!
I have a problem with ice cream too. My husband has been buying ice cream lately and I want it. But one serving is like a spoonful. Really? Is that what you say is a serving? For me, a serving of ice cream is probably three or even four servings of ice cream. And then I want more. So, I need to stay away from the ice cream because I can’ resist.
Good for you on resisting the cherries.
Thanks Tracey! Yes I can identify with the ice cream thing…in times past tubs of B&J or Haagen Dazs have been a major binge-fodder. Not recently, thankfully 🙂
Stress passes, the consequences of other people’s decisions wear off to an extent, the strength you gain from dealing with them without overeating lasts and makes you stronger next time.
I’m hoping so Mimi – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?!
Oh my goodness, I just thought that same thought with the crappy day I had yesterday. Eating wrecklessly does not make the day better, and yes, it does pass. Good post!
Thanks Kathy…yes it does, it already has. When I go downstairs this morning those cherries are all still there, and have already reverted to their previous delicious but non-threatening treat status so it’s all good 🙂
Well done, Dee!!! Way to go!!!
I’ve just read your post from last night and was worried for you. Gosh, it’s just the most horrible, wretched, awful feeling when you want them so very very very badly. It’s like they get into your head worming their way through every synapse. You can’t think of anything else, can’t believe it too will pass, can’t concentrate and can’t sleep.
But you did it, you resisted and that’s such an amazing strength.
And it’s inspiring for us all. So thank you!
x
Aw thanks! I feel a sense of achievement today – I’m still dealing with a shit situation but dealing with it knowing I’m a smidgeon skinnier than yesterday seems somehow to lend power to my elbow you know? D x
Hey, Dee. Worried about you – not at all because of the temptation slumbering down the hall fron you. I am sorry to hear you’ve got stressors like that. Nothing I can do to bail any bucketfuls of swamp water out… it’s typically smart & considerate that you never use this forum to vent. …Altho, the Furry bedmate’s digestive issues WERE a bit of oversharing – Bwahahah! Am still laughing.
It’s grand to know this posse is so tightly wedged onto the sweet spot together, that no one of us could hurl herself off in the dread of night. Hang tough, thinking of you. Fleury
Aw thanks Fleury, I appreciate the positive vibes. I survived the night without further incident, and no cherries were consumed so together we weathered the storm 🙂
Be strong!
Putting your PJs back on? I’ve got this uncomfortable image of you naked in bed, spooning with a farting dog…
All I can suggest is that if you did give in and have some/all of the cherries, don’t let that throw you out of the sweet spot. Reverse rationalise. You bought them as a special treat, they weren’t forbidden, having them was ok, you haven’t broken your diet, just keep on going. Don’t beat yourself up: “I was bad, therefore I will continue to be bad.” No! Say: “I had a treat, as I will from time to time as part of my healthy living, it’s fine. But maybe I won’t buy in bulk in future.”
I hope things look better in the morning.
Oh God when you put it like that…sorry! I didn’t give in, and every storm weathered makes us stronger, right?
Oh Dee.
I’m SO sorry you’re a stressball – and I totally understand – I haven’t always done as well as you! Hmmm, I think I need to make a promise to confess here so that I have some accountability too – even if no one reads it!
I’m so proud of you for shutting the door and putting yourself in harm’s way to avoid the temptation [meaning your bedmate :)]
Tomorrow is another day – can the cherries survive the freezer? I have a similar problem with caramel candy corn . . . .
Ha, right we all saw that promise, right posse? Ya have to ‘fess up if you’re naughty! And thanks for your thoughts…I’m fine, promise 🙂