So, that’s it then…I have officially reached the point where my age starts with a five, not a four. I wasn’t sure how I’d wake up feeling today…at forty I was fine, I embraced it. At thirty, I thought my life was over, seriously I think I cried for a week. At twenty…crap, that’s a lifetime away, I don’t even remember how I felt back then. I’m Fifty. I need to try it on for size you know? See how it fits. I could deny it of course…cling to forty nine like a drowning man would cling to a life raft? The flaw in that plan is that I’ve told you all now…me and my big mouth.
I wonder what my fifties will bring? My twenties were all about my boy – he was little, I was first and foremost a mum. I’d pressed the ejector seat on a really bad choice of husband and it was me and kiddo against the world. In my thirties – once I’d gotten over the trauma of actually being thirty – they were all about being a mum, going back to school and getting some smarts, building my career…oh and winning a fairly gruelling battle with the Big C. Husband number two came…and went…watch closely, there’s a theme.
In my forties I was more in control. I still made some bad choices but I was getting better at recognising the fuck-ups and dealing with them quickly, so that’s a bonus at least, right? Husband number three was despatched almost before he’d arrived although not before wiping out my bank account and teaching me some very thorny life lessons. But that was at the very top of the decade…I’ve enjoyed my forties on the whole. I stopped chasing the fairy tale and I got to know me.
As I turn fifty, I’m in control you know? Apart from needing the odd tena-lady obviously if someone makes me laugh till the tears run down my leg. I know what I want, having spent a lot of time over the years experiencing what I don’t want. I love my family, my friends, my career, and now I’m writing too, and the more I write the more I want to write…I suspect I’ve unleashed the beast. Putting yourself out there is daunting but to discover that like-minded people enjoy your stuff fills me with a joy I can’t describe.
It’s a shame I’m still fat, but you know what? Whilst I would have loved to have sashayed into my sixth decade as a skinny string bean, I know this is my time. Time to break out of this life-limiting fat suit once and for all, but exactly when is just semantics…I will be fifty and fabulous, even if it’s technically the day before I’m fifty one. And what’s more, I’m planning to stay there – I already know I’m going to need to mortgage my skinny soul against the commitment of counting a food budget for the rest of my life but hey, if that’s what it takes to prevent my home in Skinny Town being repossessed then bring it on…once I’m there, this time I’m there to stay.
So all in all, early indications are that hitting my big birthday isn’t going to trigger any kind of nervous collapse…we live to march another day, posse! 🙂
Wishing you many happy returns of the day! And a wonderful decade, too!
Thanks Mimi!
Happy Birthday! I turn 49 next month, so one more year of the glorious 40s. I don’t know how I’ll feel about 50, but I still have teenagers at home, so I’ll suspect they’ll keep me young a bit longer if I don’t keel over from the stress!
I think the 50s should definitely be relabeled the “me” decade. Make it work for you!
Yes, I’m going to call it the fitties…just need to make sure I live up to the name! D x
It’s all perspective. When you are 60, 50 will seem young. The thing is to stop the chain of regret right now. I just turned 58, I look back and wish I had gotten it together sooner, but I’m so grateful to be on the road of good health, I don’t want to waste another minuite. So many very suscessful people don’t hit their stride until their 50s. So, don’t look back and enjoy the ride!
I intend to Kathy…life’s too short for regrets, right? D x
Happy Happy Birthday, Dee!! 🙂
I dreaded turning 50 and, if I’m honest, am still not too happy about it. But it’s gotten easier as the year has gone by (my birthday is in April), and I’m starting to see the good things about being 50 — the self-awareness, the “not gonna take any bullshit from anybody” attitude, the fabulousness of being ME! Sounds like you already have a head-start and are ready to embrace the new decade like a pro!
I wish you all the best, dear friend, and many many more! 🙂
Thanks Julie, I appreciate your birthday wishes! x
Happy birthday Dee!
Welcome to the other side! I just turned 51 – we’re nearly birthday buddies – and I agree – my mantra for 50 was ‘it’s all about me’ [which meant at least a little was about me – I had my kids a lot later than you!] and it worked so well I decided to keep it for 51!
You are older but more importantly WISER and ready to take the bull by the horns!
Thank you! Oh yes…BULLS BEWARE!!
I am a big believer that 50 is the new 35. Despite all the tales of woe, I am loving this decade. I couldn’t give a flying squirrel what other people think and I know what I want (alas that includes chocolate!). And I can do more push ups than most of the yummy mummies in class. Enjoy and you are so going to achieve your goal!!
Thank you! Yes, I think it’s going to be the best decade so far…I shall make it so!
Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy your 50’s! You deserve to live, love and laugh!
Thanks Tracey 🙂
Happy Birthday!!! Fifty and absolutely Fabulous!! Xxxxx
Thanks Onion Ring! 🙂