So I think we’ve established by now that I have a fat-girl mindset. Even during those golden periods in my life when I’ve managed to shed the pounds and do a fair impression of being a skinny girl. I’ve never stayed skinny long enough for it to really get inside my psyche and I’ve certainly never felt like a skinny girl from the inside out. Not that I’ve recognised that before of course, but then it’s not the first time either that the process of tipping out my head spam like a collection of lipsticks, fluff and crumbs from the bottom of an old handbag for examination and discussion with you guys has helped me to shine a light on things I’ve never considered before.
Something that skinny string beans do, that I’ve never done is to leave food on my plate. Just the thought of it fills me with horror…I mean, why would I? I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum…you’re far more likely to catch me licking the plate than leaving anything on it. Which would, I’m sure, prompt a skinny string bean to throw me exactly the same look of bewilderment that I’d give her for leaving half a pork chop and a dollop of bread sauce…or worst still, a roast potato, I mean that’s practically a criminal offence.
We’ve talked before about my broken ‘full filter’ and the fact that I don’t know when to stop but that’s a bit different…leaving something on your plate is something people offer up as a strategy to manage their weight. Come on, that’s like torture with every meal! So I’m eating something I’m really enjoying…I’ve done the mental calculations, I reckon I’ve got maybe eight mouthfuls left. I’m crafting my final approach, what’s going on the fork with what..what morsel can I use to mop up the gravy..? What’s the best big bit for the last grains of rice to cling to…it’s all planned like a military operation, and yet you want me to lay down my knife and fork now?? And leave the rest..? Why would I do that??
That’s like living in a world where you walk away from every meal feeling cheated. It’s the scenario with my cheesy bugle playing on a loop, at every meal time. No matter which way up I look at it, I just don’t get it. Other strategies I understand…use a smaller plate? Yes I can see the benefit of that. Cook just the right amount so you don’t have the opportunity to overload…yes, I get that too. But cook it, enjoy it and leave it when you’re not actually in danger of bursting at the seams…no no no no!
Not only have I always finished everything on my own plate, many’s the time I’ve found myself flirting with the leftovers on everyone else’s plate too, especially when my son was little. Stuff he didn’t eat like a fish finger here, or a handful of fries there never made it as far as the dog’s bowl or the bin…somewhere between clearing the table and stacking the plates I’d find myself hoovering up whatever was left. My friend had the same issues but she was more disciplined than I was, even back then…she would encourage her son to tip pepper over the food he left on his plate to stop her picking at his leftovers. I always thought that was a great idea, I just never told my boy in case he actually did it.
It’s hardly surprising that an aversion to leaving food is hardwired into my DNA, if you’ve read my blog from the beginning and you saw the post Born Chewing you’ll have some idea of the relationship I formed with food from a very early age…that photo of me demonstrates more than words ever could how finishing every morsel of food was considered something to celebrate. But I’ve spent the last thirty odd years since reaching adulthood sidestepping every opportunity to unplug my wires and untangle them. I’m trying to do that now.
Smaller portions, yes. Better food choices, yes. Leaving food on the plate..? It’ll never happen 🙂
Bloody priceless!
Hi. I’ve happily whiled away the last hour reading your fabulous blog. Your an inspiration. I mean that. Having practically fallen off a treadmill during a fitness session I’ve just been told by my Orthpaedic Consultant that I will have a limp for the rest of my life. I’m devastated as I’m only 46. That’s young in my book anyway ! So I’ve to try and find ways to (1) lose weight and (2) find an exercise that will suit my immobility . Cycling yes but what else.? You sound like a glass half full kinda gal, a bit like myself so I’m going with the attitude that I can and I will? Thanks again for your inspiration and I look forward to reading more of your blog . ?
Hi Martina, thanks so much for your lovely feedback – I’m sorry you’ve had such a shit time of it just recently, and it’s never easy. There are so many of us in the same boat here though, and we all chuck our own thoughts and ideas into the mix in the hope that somebody somewhere might find some of it useful – every little helps, right? Welcome to the posse and I look forward to you joining in our chatter! D x
I have the same problem. I can’t leave food on my plate!! If it’s a piece of lettuce or broccoli, maybe. But potatoes, meat, pasta – no!!! I must eat it all. I struggle with the full filter too. I try to listen to my low blood sugar signs to tell me that I am hungry, but when I start to eat, I want to keep eating. That’s why I have to weigh and measure everything.
Happy birthday for Tuesday!! Not only do I never leave a morsel but also I eat very fast. The only tip I can offer is knowing I won’t leave anything I make sure that what is on my plate is healthy. Licking the plate clean of spinach isn’t so bad a habit! Smaller plates are a great idea too but a constant battle with my husband who likes to eat off something that resembles a helicopter pad. Of course he doesn’t struggle with his weight and seems to have the metabolism of a jaguar. Most annoying.
Thank you! Your comment about the helicopter pad made me chuckle..me too! Actually we eat pretty much everything from really large pasta bowls, which is really bad form especially when there’s not a sliver of pasta in sight…
Ooooooooh yes. I know this battle very well (it’s actually made me feel a bit queer, as if you’ve been poking around in my soul, which is why I’ve had to stick my oar in. I really hope you all take this in the genuinely supportive/encouraging way it is meant, and not as me being smug). In my case, it stems from my adored (chef) grandfather who mostly raised me. His mantra was, ‘If you love me, you’ll finish up the…’, no matter how bursting I was. Add all the other reasons you’ve all articulated so well, too. But something tipped a few years ago, when the weight slowly started coming off. One day I decided that it was just too bloody hard trying to lose it. The extra food on the plate was not worth the trouble it was going to cause later on. I’m honestly not kidding- it just happened- and I was over 50yrs by then. I have ABSOLUTE faith that it will happen to all of you, as you’re all trying so hard, and doing all the right things. You’re so wonderfully supportive of each other- I could have really done with you all when I was waging my weight battle against myself. Keep at it- very best of luck- and don’t underestimate yourselves- please.
Smug..? NEVER! K, genuinely as someone who’s been there, worn the T-shirt and emerged victorious on the other side, you give us all hope that it can be done. And oh yes, those childhood messages…I’m drafting a post about those as we speak, I suspect we’ve all heard them! D x
I hear you about this one, Dee. I never ever left food on my plate in the old days, but today I do it all the time. Food doesn’t have the consuming passion for me it did twenty years ago. I think that’s a normal thing as we age, and now that I’m in my seventies (egad!) I don’t need or require as much, and my enjoyment of food has waned. And I really don’t have the appetite I did before, either. But when I was your age? I never left a morsel on my plate. 🙂
Glad it’s not just me then! You outgrew it, really? Right then…well it’s my big 5-0 on Tuesday so I shall sit in hope that the inclination will strike me soon 🙂 D x
Agreed. The amount i want is on the plate to begin, and it will all be eaten, unless there is a tragic accident of the cheesy bugle variety.
Sisters from another mister 🙂 🙂
totally agree! The waste part is an issue for me – although interestingly I can do it at a restaurant – especially dessert – I can totally have a little and walk away – it’s so weird – but at home? Forget it – why? because I cooked it? I bought the groceries? I don’t know. Luckily I have a big dog who I love to spoil
Honestly Cherie, I’m more likely to sit there at the table feeling like a marine in battle fatigues, unwilling to leave so much as a sprout behind 🙂
Oh yeah, THAT’s a useful suggestion. Especially as it’s a plate of genuine food, which we are now taking pains to select, prepare; like, intentionally. Mindfully. The meal that I count on to nourish psyche & body, calm my insecurity, well frankly, to reward myself at the conclusion of each day on the railroad. That i pray will help me develop a less bat-shit relationship with food.
I’m hearing the smaller plates, I don’t disbelieve that portion size is a lost art. Okay. But – if someone thinks THIS girl can submit to the bait-and-switch, say Oh well to savory, satisfying meat & rice, they should lay off the pipe.
May I point out that i already know how to waltz out to the convenience store for junk.
Thanks again, Dee! – Fleury
Ha you’re welcome my friend 🙂