I think it was the CEO of Nike who once uttered those immortal words “If you have a body, you’re an athlete”. I’d like to hope that what he was alluding to was the wonder of the human body, rather than suggesting that everyone should immediately climb into lycra and start breaking world records. He’s right of course…the human body is an incredible thing, and very forgiving. I’ve abused mine to the moon and back over the years, and whilst it’s a bit battle scarred and will never again win any prizes for outward good looks, in its skinny form it has it’s own charm. Well ok maybe charm is pushing it a bit…it has it’s own unique…well, it’s unique, lets just leave it there.
When I visualise all the things which will once again be routine and easy when I’m skinny, it’s more often than not the little things that I look forward to most of all. I can’t wait, for example, to paint my own toenails. I mean of course I enjoy going for a pedicure, who doesn’t, right? But having a foot spa at home before slathering my feet with peppermint foot oil, wrapping them in cling film and pulling on a pair of warmed socks whilst I chill out with a movie used to be one of my favourite things to do. Only it’s a bit difficult when you can’t really reach your feet.
And how can I put this delicately..? Keeping a control of the bikini line design is much easier when you can actually see your target…I mean don’t get me wrong, I have several friends for whom this is also a challenge, one of my very good friends in fact was recently telling the story about her husband’s assistance in this regard – she ended up with a bikini line more usually associated with Hitler’s top lip, but then that’s what you get when you leave the landscaping to a bloke…no finesse. The fact that mine is done with crossed fingers and a nervous razor on a sight unseen basis is less bothersome given the fact that I’m single and being an inch out at one side isn’t going to offend anyone, but even so, I look forward to the day where I don’t have to have a stiff gin and say a prayer before I tackle the topiary.
Another of my skinny friends had a spray tan before our recent trip, and was talking about the embarrassment of having to lift up her boobs for the beautician to spray underneath. I got to thinking how many bits I’d have to lift up to get my all-over tan and by the time I’d mentally counted them all the conversation had long moved on.
So it’s the normal every day things I’m looking forward to as I peel away the dress sizes one by one. The first time I get an itch on that little patch of dry skin on the side of my ankle, and I can reach down and scratch it without toppling over or getting cramp in my hip from trying to bend my leg far enough up to meet my hand halfway will be a full-on bona-fide hang out the flags milestone, and it can’t come soon enough 🙂
