One of the benefits that I’m finding in writing all my mixed up thoughts down and pulling them into the kind of order that makes it possible for other people to read, is the clarity I’m uncovering for myself. I’ve never approached this as a ‘Dear Diary’ blog given that I doubt anyone but me would be remotely interested in the general titter and shit of my life – I’ve tried to take the seed of an idea in each post and kind of kick it about out loud so I understand where I land with my perspective.
That seems to be switching on a few lightbulbs as we go along…for me as much as anyone. And it’s good to take one thought at a time, and really dissect it. A bit like when they used to make you chop up a frog in the science lab at school so you could see what was inside, just a bit less messy. So following on from me identifying my big hairy audacious skinny goal, I need to unpick some of the habits that could make the wheels come off. After all, any good strategy needs to keep sight of the likely bumps in the road in order to plan for them, right? In the context of dieting where broken choices and bad habits have gotten me into this mess, I need to be able to call out the difference between routine, and habit.
I guess for me, routine is the framework of my life. I get up, I go to work, I come home…I take care of my mum, feed the dog, hang out with my boy…all those things are fairly routine because they need to happen to keep life ticking along. I suppose there’s no such thing as a good or a bad routine, sure some are more fun than others but they’re fairly easy to change if they’re not working for you. Habits are something different. In my mind, I see habits as the angels or demons that live within your routine…they’re either rootin’ for you or pulling against you. And where bad habits are concerned, the asshole in my mind is right behind the wheel.
Told you he operated by stealth didn’t I..? I think it was Zig Ziglar who said that all bad habits start slowly and gradually and before you know you have the habit, the habit has you…that’s so true. Trouble is, some of these bad habits are destructive, yet comforting at the same time, you know? Think about it. I get in from work, knackered..long day, busy busy busy…hauling 300lbs of body around equates to not much energy left, aching back, swollen feet. I look forward all day to climbing into pyjamas, sinking into the armchair with the dog on my knee and eating something (or several somethings) as I watch TV and relax.
And yet. That’s one of the worst habits I have that I need to break. I know that…it’s not doing me any good. Being completely sedentary in my down-time is not encouraging my buns to shrink and although I’m in the sweet spot and I’m completely in control of my food choices, this is where the asshole is still in control of the route map. But from where I’m standing right now, I don’t want to break that habit – there. I’ve said it. I look forward to that moment all day long! What I want, is to want to want to break the habit…and therein lies the rub. That’s a different thing altogether.
Let me chew on that a bit longer. I have some thoughts, and I’ll write more tomorrow. And if anyone cares to share what helped them want to want to change something they didn’t want to change I’m all ears 🙂
Hi all, I read this one several hours ago, but had more mulling to do. The different times i was able to toss regular (6 days-a-week) exercise into the mix, like you Dee it had already become easy (ish), since i had already pared down … i’m not that clear on why i didn’t want to want it at some points in my checkered history with food & mass, & sometimes i have no problem embracing it.
No help, sorry Posse. i’m fairly useless there. Except to say that at day’s end it IS pretty much out of the question.
Saving grace for me is getting up early (ish), when no one else will make demands on my time, read: can’t be bothered to get out of bed. so no one to interrupt, pre-empt or critique my short little, light, undemanding, non-barf-inducing bike ride. as a result, i sweat & read my book or some e-mail for 35 min (45? 55? * -grand total minutes poached, for my own gratification: probably the amt of time that many folks need for their toilette). *Note: easy does it. it’s documented everywhere that even dillettante exercizing helps, & it helps me a lot! i just do it like religion.
Thanks, Fleury
Thanks, Fleury. Same in our household – the only way I get my daily dose of purely selfish exercise (i.e. not walking because the dog needs a walk or for a particular purpose to get from A to B or to get shopping) is early in the morning way before anyone else is even semi conscious. It’s dark, it’s often chilly or downright cold and bed or breakfast or a cup of tea seem much better options, but I’m up, dressed and out before I can think of reasons not to. The hardest bit of a run is putting on your shoes. Once on and that first step is taken, an hour passes in the blink of an eye, then the peace of solitude gives way to the noise and action of a day’s work and responsibility to others.
But I know that there’s the next day’s early morning hour to look forward to. It takes on a sacredness and is an absolutely inviolable part of my day.
Pretty much my entire adult life, I wanted to lose weight and workout…I’d start for a while and stop. I always had an excuse. I was tired, it was cold, my knee hurt, I didn’t have anyone to go to the gym with, I deserved that special treat because “fill in the blank,” I didn’t feel like it, I didn’t want to, whatever. Excuses seem to rule when you lack motivation to do something. Two things happened that changed my entire perspective. One … I set concrete, measurable fitness goals that were part of my goal to lose weight. This gave me something to work towards and losing weight was a secondary result. I did a 5K obstacle course (goal 1), I wanted to do real push-ups (goal 2), I did a 100 mile bike ride (goal 3). Now I want to do unassisted dips – haven’t done them yet. They are super hard. In training for these fitness goals, my nutrition improved and was easier to “be good.” The second thing that really rocked my world and put ALL of the excuses aside is that someone close to me died. He was 24 years old, physically fit and was like a son to me. When he died, I realized I was *#$$ing my life away and I was done sitting around, eating what I wanted, making excuses. His death motivated me to accomplish all of my fitness goals.
I’m sorry for your loss Tracey, that must have been so hard *hug*
I have no idea what an unassisted dip is, but good luck getting to it, I know you will ?
In my thirties I decided I needed to stop smoking, but I didn’t know how. I was terrifically addicted to nicotine and tried over and over to stop. Finally, when I realized I could not walk up fifteen stairs without stopping to rest, I knew the time had come. So I went through the pain and suffering and eventually came out the other end. Although I went for SEVEN YEARS without a cigarette, the moment I had one to celebrate, I was again addicted. It took another two years of trying before I finally stopped, but I did. And now it’s been decades. I think I was right where you are now. You know you want to BOTSG and you will. This is your time. 🙂
I love your faith in me! I found giving up smoking so much easier than losing weight ever has been. But you’re on the money Djan…this is my time. Happy days!
Sometimes the wanting to change comes after i take the first steps to do so. Believe it or not, motivation follows action.
I can actually buy into that Mimi…my head is getting there.
The only advice I can offer is to just do what you don’t want to do and make it a habit not a chore. For me that meant becoming someone that exercises 6 times a week. I schedule it, set goals (12,000 steps a day plus some sort of strength training and cardio) and don’t allow myself off the hook. I don’t have iron clad will power and I would much rather be on the couch. But after forcing myself to do it for three years, it’s now as much a habit as lying on the sofa used to be. Not the answer i ever wanted to hear but the truth
Well then…I guess that’s my call to arms!
Like anything else it’s about WANTING the change – I’m hitting your sweet spot food wise – not really hungry much of the time – staying on plan, keeping track even when I feel I’m losing control [and therefore realizing I haven’t really derailed, the track is still running ahead] but it’s because I’m finally ready. The exercise is the same. I was there for a while – but life has been much upon me the last couple of weeks so I just checked out on it – and I’m not going to make myself insane – will get to it when I’m READY.
I will say that nighttime is not my time to do it! do you have any other options you can think of?
I wish I did! I’m much more of a morning person too but I work an hours’ drive from where I live…I already leave around 7 am so any exercise for me will need to be in the evening, at least during the week. Ain’t it a bitch ?