Well this was a turn up for the books…I’ve just had my first experience of being trolled! I’ve gotta be honest it took me by surprise, because I’ve had nothing but really lovely positive and supportive feedback since I started writing the blog. When I settle down to check email it’s usually with a wide smile and a mindset where I’m ready to fill up my tank with happy, which is definitely the best diet-fuel ever. And yet, here it was, an email choc full of sarcasm and negativity. I did a classic double-take and my first thought was “who taught the asshole in my head how to pick up a pen“!
Now, I have to say I might have taken it more seriously if the person writing it had 1) been able to spell the majority of those nasty words correctly, and 2) thought about the fact that submitting an email instead of a comment shows a return email address *DUH* but in actual fact it inspired a complete fit of the giggles…and I’m still laughing 🙂
Not that I wish in any way to dignify the email with a response but oh you SO know I’m going to…
Dear Anonymous (or, AKSteele1@…)
Thank you for your kind note which I received this morning. I realise that making me smile was not your intention, however congratulations on the unintended consequence of you being a dumbass.
I don’t happen to share your opinion that I’m insulting people of size by using the word ‘fat’ – I’m a down to earth Yorkshire girl and to be honest I call it as I see it. I don’t expect people to tiptoe around me and use expressions like ‘a lady of size’. There’s room for two normal people inside my pants and the last time I looked that qualified me as being fat. Being fat bothers me, a lot, but not as much as being patronised by folk using politically correct phrases designed to say the same thing but without using the ‘F’ word. I’m fat, not stupid and no matter how you dress it up, it is what it is. But I can appreciate how it may look to a stupid person, so whilst you took great pains to reassure me that you are in fact not fat in any way, I must therefore assume that you’re stupid and I apologise if you are offended.
In response to your comment about me thinking I’m so clever. Well, I am. I can touch the tip of my nose with the end of my tongue…bet you can’t do that. Bet you’re trying to right now though aren’t you?
I’m a little unclear as to how I’m exploiting large people to make money. However, I must confess to a love of Chanel handbags, so if you know something that I don’t I’d be grateful for any tips you can give me in this regard.
In respect of you not being surprised that I’m single – well. I’m not quite sure how to respond to that. I’m not sure either that ‘a damn good seeing to’ would assist my weight loss journey in any way, but just in case there was an offer to provide some kind of service hidden behind your comment, I fear I must decline. I’m appreciative obviously, we fat girls have to get it where we can, but I suspect it may be some time since you encountered soap, and I have an aversion to body odour – don’t take it personally, I’m just funny like that.
Anyway, much as I’d love to linger and chat, that life that you suggested I go and get? I’m heading off there now. It might not be perfect, but it gets nearer to perfect every day. Can’t wait to tell the posse about your email – they’ll be just as amused as I was. You’re a gift that keeps on giving my friend…keep up the good work, y’hear?
Fond regards, Dee x
What d’y’all think, posse? Reckon old AK’ll be back? 🙂
