Hands up if you’ve ever seen or heard or maybe read something which resonated with you, stayed with you…I mean really rung the bell deep down inside of you and made you think YEAH!! DAMN STRAIGHT!! I have – this is the thing that I read, 25 years ago at least, and it never left me.
I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody is going to come and save you. You’ve got to save yourself. Nobody is going to give you anything. You’ve got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except you, and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t get it. So don’t give up your dreams.
How awesome is that – by the way you score extra points if you can tell me who said it – and how awesome is it that after 25 years of cherishing those words, I can pretty much remember them word for word. That’s powerful isn’t it, that someone can put something out there and someone else sees it, and it stays with that person for the longest time. I think the reason it fired something up in me is because I believe the sentiment behind those words you know? 100%. I read them at a point in my life where I’d already picked up a couple of bruises and realisation was dawning that the charmed life I’d pictured for myself wasn’t going exactly to plan.
Fast-forward twenty five years – am I the person I choose to be? No.
I mean on some level of course, I’m happy with the person I am on the inside. I love my grown up son and my dog, I spoil my mum and I have lots of friends who mean the world to me, and whom I’d go to the ends of the earth for if they needed me. They would for me too, which tells me I’m getting something right, right? I work hard, pay my taxes (ok through gritted teeth at times but it still counts) and I try to be kind and generous…I’m a good person. But have I chosen to live inside this body? Are you serious? Unless they were accompanied by men in white coats carrying a syringe with bluebirds twittering around their head, nobody would choose to live inside this body. And yet, I haven’t chosen not to…or at least I haven’t chosen not to for ever.
Nobody is going to come and save me from 300lbs of wobble, I’ve got to save myself. I get it, I know that. Nobody is going to give me the answers of how I break this game of yo-yo madness that I’ve played with myself over the years, I have to figure it out in a way that works for me…I get that too, and I’m up for the fight – come on asshole, give it your best shot. And you know what’s really true? Nobody could ever know better than I do how much I want to be free of this fat suit which gets in the way of the person I really choose to be. Would anyone else be sorry if I didn’t? Of course not – again, down to me.
I haven’t given up on my dreams…that’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m on it 🙂
