I’m warming to the theme now – it’s a funny thing isn’t it, motivation – what works for some won’t work for others, and actually over the years I have found a few things which I will arrange in my toolkit to be wheeled out when I need to turbo charge my willpower or find a bit of added oomph. And I will talk about them on here at some point, I promise. Just indulge me one more post though, in taking the piss out of the ideas which (in my humble opinion) have clearly been cobbled together by someone who has probably never even sported a muffin top.
So, the next nugget of wisdom was to join a gym class and pay for loads of sessions up front – that way, you’re bound to attend because otherwise you’ll have wasted your money. Kind of like a psychological contract. Genius idea that. Let’s have a pop quiz. Do you think this suggestion came from
a) a gym bunny, or
b) an exercise dodger.
Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Come on, I’ve been there. On Monday, I start the diet, I’m brimming over with enthusiasm, this time it’s going to work. I know, I’ll even take an exercise class, in fact look, it works out cheaper to pay for six. Tuesday I go to the first class. Wednesday I can’t move. Thursday I can move a little bit and comfort-eat my way through the pain (because after all, even factoring in the 45 minutes I spent wheezing on the sidelines I must have burned off at least, ooh 3000 calories in the step class which almost killed me , so actually it cancels itself out) and then it’s Friday, which is the weekend and we all know that weekends are about pleasure not pain, so I’ll go back for my second class next week when I’m bound to feel a bit better. The diet’s gone to shit anyway so I may as well have the weekend off and I’ll start again on Monday.
No, hang on, I can’t start my diet on Monday, I’ve got a works’ do a week on Saturday and that’ll ruin all my hard work, so I may as well start my diet two weeks on Monday so I can have a good run at it. In the meantime, pass me the cake because when I start my diet I won’t be able to have any of that. And look, there’s no point in going back to the gym class until I’m dieting, that’d be a complete waste of money, everyone knows diet and exercise go together. Actually what I might do, is to diet for a few weeks and drop some weight, and then go back to the exercise class. It wouldn’t hurt as much if I was skinny. Yes that’s what I’ll do. I’ll definitely go back though.
And repeat. I think you get the picture. That’s the psyche of a fat girl – sorry, I shouldn’t generalise, that’s the psyche of this fat girl. I know it’s not logical on any level whatsoever, but then addicts will say and do anything to convince everyone – including themselves – that they’re in control, they’re on it, in fact they’re all over it. Someone once told me that the definition of madness was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
This time, I’m trying something different…I have my blog 🙂
