Tag Archives: motivated

Shopping Up A Storm

Freeform thoughts, ,

piggy

So I had several friends yesterday who did battle with the post-Christmas sales so they could snap up some bargains. Me, I love the idea of it, and God knows I love a good deal but the reality of joining thousands of other bargain hunters in the annual bunfight is just something I can’t contemplate. I mean, if they’d be happy to open up the store an hour before everyone else and let me quietly swan around picking off all the good stuff, well I’d be all over that…sadly I wasn’t born to that life.

But I did want to grab a bargain of my own…I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been mooching on line for a few weeks hoping to spot an exercise bike. I have to get fit this year if I’m going to conquer those mountains in Cuba and I sort of know that’s not going to happen of it’s own accord so I’ve been keeping my eyes open you know, for a bargain. I’ve trawled eBay and other similar resale sites and nothing’s really come up so I thought I’d chance my arm in the on-line January sales.

Now I approached this particular bargain hunt with extreme caution. For those of you who have read my ‘Exercise In The Home’ blog post from way back in August, you’ll understand my propensity for getting totally carried away in the moment, and buying something that isn’t what I think it is, and which has a lifetime use of zilch. I’m thinking of the treadmill that wasn’t a treadmill and the power plate in particular, but over the years there have been many. They come, they go. They get assembled, admired, occasionally dusted but rarely used. Not this time…this time is different.

Let’s recap. I wanted a cheap exercise bike, to help me get fit. Is that what I bought..? No of course that’s not what I fucking bought, that would be way too easy, right? What I bought was a state of the art elliptical cross trainer. Yes, I’m shaking my head right along with you. FFS!

So let me try and explain, as much for my benefit as yours because as of right now I’ve woken up and put myself in the doghouse. As part of my cautious approach (stop laughing) I wanted to do my homework. So I had a look on line at what kind of equipment gives you a good all over workout, helps to build stamina, doesn’t put too much strain on your joints, all that good stuff.

To be honest, the exercise bike idea came pretty low down the table. Great for legs, and good cardio but not too hot on upper body, and the bingo wings wouldn’t even get a look in. So I started mooching more widely and the general consensus was that an elliptical cross-trainer would tick pretty much all boxes. Right then…I’ll get me one of them. A cheap one.

Apparently, the cheap ones are perfectly fine for servicing a skinny string bean who doesn’t weigh more than a helium balloon. If you have so much as one toe in sumo it’s a different story. Seemingly, to avoid it all going horribly wrong and ending up tangled in a machine that’s collapsed around you as you work up a sweat, you have to spend more. A fair bit more as it turns out. Ker-ching!

On reflection, I’m slowly inching my way out of the doghouse. It’s an investment in my commitment to this journey and to the longer term abolition of these bingo wings which have to be tucked into my sleeves on a daily basis. Yes, I could have bought an annual membership to a fancy gym for the same money, but I don’t think I could make that fit into my life. I’m time poor, and there’s no sense in setting myself up to fail.

It’s going to look ridiculous in my bedroom, a big shiny steel monster amongst the shabby chic of patchwork, stone and beams, but I can fall out of bed and get at it before I shower in the morning. Crap. I’m going to hate it aren’t I? But you know what, that’s ok…I’m mentally preparing myself. I’ve no doubt that I will wear my very best ‘bulldog chewing a wasp’ face as I get to grips with it and I’m pretty sure I’ll turn the air blue by effing and jeffing on a daily basis. At first. But I’m going to make damned sure this one doesn’t end up as a clothes stand. That’s my promise to myself, and you all heard me, right?

It gets delivered sometime next week…I’m excited with a touch of trepidation but 2016 starts here, and I’m ready 🙂

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In For A Penny…

Freeform thoughts, , ,

kitten lion

So you know I said I was going to find a longer term fitness challenge..? I knew I’d find the perfect thing if I was patient. I wanted it to be something I have plenty of time to plan and prepare for, something really challenging but do-able. I need to be able to get fit enough to be 100% confident I’ll achieve it, and I wanted it to be something so awesome that I would always remember it. A defining moment you know?

Quite a lot of you have reached out to suggest things, and you know what, I might do a couple of race for life events as a way of building up my endurance and stamina, although I have to manage your expectations up front and say there’ll be less racing and more red-faced sweaty walking going on, depending on when they take place. After my two and a half mile walk on Saturday I feel like someone’s run me over with a truck but I’m quietly pleased with the way I pushed through my aches and pains when I took Charlie dog out yesterday afternoon…we even did the long circuit much to his delight.

I’ve also had a couple of offers to head on over the pond and participate in some local events, all of which I’d love to do at some point…imagine that, the former fat girl’s world fitness tour 🙂 But first, listen… I’ve found it. I’ve found the thing I’m going to do. I’ve already thrown my hat into the ring, registered my interest and I’m just waiting to find out whether my application has been accepted. And I’m so psyched about it…I’ll be on pins until January when I find out. But I can’t afford to wait…I need to start planning my approach.

So…want to know what it is..?

If my application is accepted, in October 2016 I’ll be completing a 90km trek over five days, from Havana across the Escambray mountain range to Trinidad in central Cuba. It’s the kind of challenge I never dared to imagine would be possible on a personal level, and I’m also hoping to raise a wedge of money for my chosen charity.

I should perhaps point out that right at this moment, the asshole in my mind has keeled over, laughing hysterically and in between snorts of derision is busy trying to tell me that it’s impossible – and I’ve got to be honest, if I really sit and think about it, fuck me it’s a big ask. In the next nine months I need to lose at least 70lbs, and build up enough stamina to be able to trek roughly 18km per day over some big-assed hills. I’m more scared about having to sleep in a tent than I can tell you…without blowing my own trumpet I’d make a lovely supper for a dingo, and besides that they have spiders the size of tanks in Cuba. I mean talk about in for a penny, in for a pound. But you know what, I can do it.

I’ll still be 60lbs too heavy for my frame at that point, but if I’ve given it everything I’ve got in nine months of training, I’ll have a reasonable level of fitness, and when I get back I’ll be on the home stretch on that journey to Skinny Town, right? It’s a massive thing, and right now I’m getting carried along by excitement, terror and pure blind faith that things will work out ok.

So, posse…what do you think..? Do you reckon I can do it..?

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I Spy, With My Little Eye…

Diet update, In the here & now, , ,

green shoot

I sort of got distracted and a bit giddy at the weekend by the fact that we had a blog anniversary, so as I sat down to do my customary reflections on the week and non-diety diet update I talked more about the blog than about me. I ran out of space before I’d gotten to talking about me…I’m kind of ok with that but you know what, this past week for the first time it’s occurred to me that I’m starting to see some really subtle changes in my physical self. And I should tell you!

When I say subtle, I really mean subtle…I haven’t leaped out of bed on any given day feeling different, but you know that way where you’ve had toothache or a sore muscle for a while and it’s become the kind of dull ache you get used to? It’s not until you suddenly notice that it’s not aching quite as much as it did that you stop short and think when did that happen..? Well, my stop short moment happened on Friday evening last week when I was out with some friends for dinner.

We ate in a lovely restaurant that we’ve been to before but I’ve got to be honest and say that the chairs aren’t the most comfortable chairs I’ve ever sat on…the round wooden seats are not built for bums of substance. Last time we were there I remember being so uncomfortable, to the point where it was distracting. I felt shuffly all night, you know? Now don’t get me wrong, I could still have easily pulled two together and claimed one for each cheek, however I left the restaurant this time without feeling that I’d been balanced on a button all night. Subtle, but different.

And yesterday, when I was out walking with Charlie…we got to the point in the walk where we can turn right to complete a circuit back home, or carry on up the hill to do a much bigger circuit. He kind of throws me that resigned look when we get to the crossroads, having long ago realised that nine times out of ten we’re going right. As we got there yesterday, the red hot poker in my knee wasn’t trying to take my breath away with every step, so much to his delight we carried on. Again, don’t get me wrong, the long route still only takes us a mile or so but the difference yesterday was it only hurt a little bit. Subtle, but different.

Getting in and out of the car feels a little bit easier, because I’m just that little bit less restricted by all the padding around my middle. I’m two dress sizes smaller than when I started this journey back in August. Again, the difference between a 28 and a 24 is not as noticeable as the difference between a 16 and a 12…so it’s subtle, but it’s there. And I feel it.

So I spy, with my little eye…green shoots are starting to poke their inquisitive little tips out of this fat suit. My friend commented last week that she saw my thin face, just for a second before it disappeared back into it’s cradle of double chin, but it popped out for a quick look around none the less…I’m here to tell you it’s been a while since that saw the light of day.

Someone once said to me just because you don’t see results after a day, or a week, don’t give up…you may not see changes, but every good choice you make is affecting you in ways you cannot imagine.

Ain’t that the truth!

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My Fifty Year Fitness Goal

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, ,

set goal, make plan, work, stick to it, reach goal - a success concept presented with colorful sticky notes

So you know how every now and again you read something that really resonates with you, and at the same times inspires you to think that maybe, just maybe if you put the hours in you can pull something similar off yourself..? I just read Jan Bono’s latest guest post on the Cranky Fitness blog, and I’m here to tell you that as I sit here with my morning coffee and toast, having just read it for the second time, it’s really got me. Real tears and everything, both times…I mean come on, even E.T only got me once.

I posted a link to the story on my ‘interesting stuff’ page for anyone who’s curious but in a nutshell Jan dropped over 240lbs, and went on to make the leap from struggling to walk from her house to her car, to completing a 10k event. The post is about how she felt as she was doing it, and afterwards. I’ve had to have a word with myself this morning, I was chomping at the bit to pull on my walking boots and set off.

Given that I’m nearer the house/car end of the spectrum with a shedload of weight to lose, I need a plan of action to prevent the inevitable walk of shame back from the end of my road after the penny drops that I’m not quite ready yet to go the whole hog. Something like that definitely needs more than my usual ‘spectacles, testicles, wallet & watch’ approach to planning, as in it needs to start way before I’m getting ready to leave the house.(For the avoidance of doubt, my balls are purely metaphorical, just in case anyone wondered!)

So my thoughts turned to what it is that I’d like to do…what’s the thing I’m going to aim for, plan and train for..? Imagine that, me in training for something. It’s proving a challenge in itself just wrapping my head around that one. I need some time to think about it, because I want it to mean something, you know?  But I will come back to you on that, because along with my BHAG in terms of longer term weight control, and my short and medium term milestones I can see a hole opening up in my overall plan for a fitness goal, and this would fit the bill perfectly.

With immaculate timing, another of our posse (also called Jan funnily enough, do you think there’s a conspiracy amongst Jans to focus my mind..?!) suggested to me yesterday that I check out the Nerd Fitness blog post about taking the first small step in terms of getting fitter. Interesting food for thought – again I’ve shared it on my page. I’ve never ever tried tackling both diet and fitness at the same time. The asshole in my mind is currently having an utter meltdown that I might even be considering such a thing…he’s on the ropes where my eating plan is concerned given my level of focus and resolve, but he knows I’m on less sure footing where the whole fitness thing is concerned so his voice is loud and persistent. One at a time, get the weight down first so nothing hurts as much…

In the spirit of full disclosure, it’s what I want to hear you know? Sounds much easier and less painful so he’s kind of pushing on an open door. But setting a longer term fitness goal and building a plan might just give me the impetus to drown out his voice and get cracking. I’ve already started my extra walk a day with Charlie the dog, although to be honest the wheels came off a bit last week with not feeling too hot. It doesn’t feel like a habit yet either, but I’m sure I’ll get there.

How does the saying go..? You don’t have to be great before you can take the first step, but you have to take the first step before you can be great. I’m still trying to break free of these concrete boots 🙂

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See It, Achieve It

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, , ,

medal

So I was lucky enough to have dinner last week with Sir Chris Hoy…*screws face up* okay okay you got me, I was lucky enough to attend a dinner last week where Sir Chris Hoy was the after dinner speaker – he was awesome. And rather more dishy than I’d expected if I’m honest – he’s already made my friend’s top 5 ‘list’ (you know, that list…) but I think he might just have upset the apple cart a bit on mine too, by knocking old Kevin Costner into 6th place. That’s a debate for another time, but anyway as MAMILs go he was, you know, up there. Buns of steel allegedly.

He was talking about his career as Britain’s most successful Olympian of all time with 6 gold medals and one silver under his belt. More particularly he was talking about the dedication to training and what it was that enabled him to push through the pain of everything he had to put his body through on a daily basis for years on end.  It was really emotional actually when they played the video montage of him winning all his medals. And I couldn’t help thinking as I sat there listening to him that whilst we might belong to the same human race, he and I are about as far apart as members of that human race as it’s possible to get.

He was up there, glowing with vitality, a supreme athlete talking about how he’d pushed his body to the extremes of what it’s possible for the human body to endure, in pursuit of a dream, which he achieved. And then he dreamed even bigger, and achieved again. As I sat there, buried under the best part of 300lbs of fatness, puffy feet stuffed inside strappy shoes which were digging in like mad, with back ache from doing nothing more exerting than standing on my feet a lot during the day, I felt so sad – and a little bit ashamed – that in my own way I’ve also pushed my body to the extreme. Not in pursuit of excellence, but simply because I’ve never gotten a hold of this broken relationship I have with food and put it to bed once and for all. But that’s why we’re here isn’t it? Me and the rest of our posse.

As it turns out, he and I have more in common than I thought. He’s a visualiser…his whole approach to training was based on him seeing himself race a perfect race. By focusing on that, he was able to tolerate the punishing train – hurt – repeat schedule day after day after day. And it was never the result which drove him – it was purely seeing himself racing the perfect race.

He made me smile when he talked about negotiating with his legs, telling them that this time round the track would be their last so they needed to give it their all. Then when they did, saying there’s just one more, but this time is the last time…ten times a session (his legs must be a bit gullible that’s all I can say…fool me once and all that!)

I’m a visualiser too. I don’t know if you read the ‘Heifer in the Helicopter‘ post a few weeks ago – I’ve been visualising the bloody bells and alarms going off every time the asshole in my mind rattles his chains, and it’s effective. It’s definitely kept me away from the hobnobs.  But, Sir Chris Hoy has further inspired me, and being the magpie that I am I’m going to pinch all of these different things that work for other people until I find the things that work best for me. I’m going to force my body into compliance by lying outrageously that the hobnobs are coming if it will just stick to the diet for one more day, and I’m going to keep on visualising.

I’m visualising running the perfect race from fat to skinny. Not focusing on the finish line but focusing instead on executing it perfectly. Sticking to my food plan, counting my points, ignoring the asshole, being the best I can be. And getting skinny..? That’s my Olympic gold right there.

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