Tag Archives: happy

Back Of The Net!

Biggest Triumphs, , , ,

goal

In all the excitement yesterday of throwing our arms wide to welcome in a bright and shiny 2016, and with light bulbs popping here and there, I got distracted and forgot to mention…it’s a little bit snug, but the size 22 top I’ve been lusting after since I came back from Vegas fastened with only a soupçon of persuasion! There’s no truth in the rumour that my lips turned blue from holding my breath as I tried it on, and I’m claiming it as another little goal achieved 🙂

I realise that it’s all relative…I mean there might be folk in our posse who’ve lived their entire lives as skinny string beans, and the acquisition of just a little bit of padding means they’re as unhappy with their size as I am with mine…we super-fatties don’t have the monopoly on low self esteem, right? And to those guys, the thought of being a size 22 must make them want to go have a lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress. But speaking as someone who was a size 28 just one hundred and thirty eight days ago, I’m feeling pretty awesome.

So, obviously my thoughts have now turned to what next. I like having bite sized goals – seriously, what other sort would you expect to have on a fat girl’s blog – and I like measuring it in dress sizes, because it’s tangible you know? Holding something up against yourself and stepping a little further from no chance! every time is a real motivator for me. So I think eight weeks seems a reasonable time frame to aim for the next size down…what do you think? Let’s call that out as my next mini goal…1st March, officially the first day of spring and I’m shooting for a 20.

Right, so listen, come closer…I need your help for a minute. Something rather exciting is about to happen…we’re entering a competition! Our blog’s been accepted into the running for the UK Blog Awards, and I’ve got to submit two blog posts from the archives, in preparation for the public vote which starts on Monday. OMG!!!!  I feel a bit sick – me, the least competitive person you’ll ever meet, putting us out there to be judged…clearly I had a moment of insanity when I clicked on the go for it button.

To be fair, I don’t think we have a cat in hell’s chance of getting past the first round, because there are some really professional looking blogs out there and for me, this is my passion and my hobby but it’s not a commercial enterprise. So all I’m really looking to do is to raise the profile of the blog a little bit, and welcome a few more folk into the posse.

But this is where I really need your help. I’m hoping you’ll throw yourself right in and cast your vote of course, but I need to be even more demanding of you than that…which two posts do I pick? I mean, to me they’re like my babies…each one lovingly and thoughtfully crafted in order to serve you up a smile, or some reflection, or if I really hit the back of the net to help you feel less alone on this journey, like you’re not the only person who’s trying to climb out of their fat suit, you know? And of course I get all that right back at me from you guys…me, I’m just the one who stirs the pot.

I can’t choose between them! I was just going to pick the two top rated posts, but the proportion of folk in the posse who use the star rating buttons is quite small, so I’d rather throw it out there and ask you guys. You know better than me which ones you like the best. You’re the experts!

I’ve got to submit my choices on Sunday, and I’ll tell you more about it then…I’ve got some logos I need to figure out how to use, and I’ll probably spend the weekend looking confused and pressing lots of buttons in the hope that something sticks where it should, but in the meantime, which two blog posts from our archive should I lay out in all their glory to showcase the best of what we’ve got?

Over to you guys…help!

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‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

Freeform thoughts, ,

stocking

Twas the night before Christmas, the cupboards were bare,

the food shop is looming, but why should I care?

I can’t eat the good stuff, the stuff that I crave,

‘cos I’ve promised the posse that I will behave 🙁

The Asshole is laughing, he’s biding his time,

he thinks he’ll persuade me to slip into crime.

I admit it, I’m sulking, my thoughts are not good,

as I think of the things I would eat if I could.

I want cheese balls and ice cream, pralines and cream,

pigs in their blankets, and stuffing supreme.

I’m madder than mad, that the size of my arse

means for this year, and next year my plate will be sparse.

My stocking is empty of chocolate and treats,

in light of the fact that I’m pounding the streets.

to remove all this blubber that covers my bum,

and break out the string bean that I shall become.

It SUCKS that on Christmas I have to be good,

but that’s what I promised to do, if I could.

And do it I will, have no fear of that!

(just forgive me for being a grumpy old twat.)

I’ll scowl at the chocolate, and snarl at the pud,

Stick to lean stuff and green stuff and do what I should.

And after it’s over I’ll grin like a fool

That the Asshole was beaten, and I’m still cool 🙂

Have an awesome Christmas everyone…to my occasional readers, my regular lurkers and all of you who join in the chatter on a daily basis, I couldn’t walk this path on my own so I’m sending lots of love to you all with grateful thanks for your glorious company xxx

holly

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I Spy, With My Little Eye…

Diet update, In the here & now, , ,

green shoot

I sort of got distracted and a bit giddy at the weekend by the fact that we had a blog anniversary, so as I sat down to do my customary reflections on the week and non-diety diet update I talked more about the blog than about me. I ran out of space before I’d gotten to talking about me…I’m kind of ok with that but you know what, this past week for the first time it’s occurred to me that I’m starting to see some really subtle changes in my physical self. And I should tell you!

When I say subtle, I really mean subtle…I haven’t leaped out of bed on any given day feeling different, but you know that way where you’ve had toothache or a sore muscle for a while and it’s become the kind of dull ache you get used to? It’s not until you suddenly notice that it’s not aching quite as much as it did that you stop short and think when did that happen..? Well, my stop short moment happened on Friday evening last week when I was out with some friends for dinner.

We ate in a lovely restaurant that we’ve been to before but I’ve got to be honest and say that the chairs aren’t the most comfortable chairs I’ve ever sat on…the round wooden seats are not built for bums of substance. Last time we were there I remember being so uncomfortable, to the point where it was distracting. I felt shuffly all night, you know? Now don’t get me wrong, I could still have easily pulled two together and claimed one for each cheek, however I left the restaurant this time without feeling that I’d been balanced on a button all night. Subtle, but different.

And yesterday, when I was out walking with Charlie…we got to the point in the walk where we can turn right to complete a circuit back home, or carry on up the hill to do a much bigger circuit. He kind of throws me that resigned look when we get to the crossroads, having long ago realised that nine times out of ten we’re going right. As we got there yesterday, the red hot poker in my knee wasn’t trying to take my breath away with every step, so much to his delight we carried on. Again, don’t get me wrong, the long route still only takes us a mile or so but the difference yesterday was it only hurt a little bit. Subtle, but different.

Getting in and out of the car feels a little bit easier, because I’m just that little bit less restricted by all the padding around my middle. I’m two dress sizes smaller than when I started this journey back in August. Again, the difference between a 28 and a 24 is not as noticeable as the difference between a 16 and a 12…so it’s subtle, but it’s there. And I feel it.

So I spy, with my little eye…green shoots are starting to poke their inquisitive little tips out of this fat suit. My friend commented last week that she saw my thin face, just for a second before it disappeared back into it’s cradle of double chin, but it popped out for a quick look around none the less…I’m here to tell you it’s been a while since that saw the light of day.

Someone once said to me just because you don’t see results after a day, or a week, don’t give up…you may not see changes, but every good choice you make is affecting you in ways you cannot imagine.

Ain’t that the truth!

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Milestone Moments & Memories

Biggest Triumphs, Diet update, In the here & now, ,

IMG_3697

Hey posse…home at last, to a rock star welcome from my four-legged fur baby and an enthusiastic welcome from my boy, who’d managed to empty the fridge whilst I was gone…quelle surprise! 🙂 It’s been a memorable trip, and now it’s lovely to be home. Thanks for all your input, comments and emails re yesterday’s post – I love that whilst I was away I sense-checked my decisions and choices every time against the question ‘what would the posse do…?‘ and I love even more that I pretty much hit it straight for that very reason. And I’m here to tell you, you are ALL getting on the asshole’s last good nerve!

In response to both dilemmas, I took a mouthful, made all the right noises about how amazing it tasted and how much I appreciated the gesture, then handed the baton – along with cake and spoon – to the girls who executed a pretty perfect mexican wave of appreciation. They know I’m dieting, and even when the kind of cocktails that would happily take the enamel off your teeth were in play they had my back. Teamwork at it’s finest.

And I needn’t have been terrified about being frog-marched out of the sweet spot for my lack of willpower, never to return…no lack of willpower, and no asshole victories, just some creative accounting within a framework of accountability which means I’ve had treats, but they’ve been totted up instead of written off. I pared back on some of the drinking because eating the food I wanted was more important to me…I had as much fun as everyone else and what’s more I even remember it all, which is an added bonus! Did I wish I could throw caution to the wind and have everything I wanted..? Yes, of course I did, but the realisation that I can’t has wormed its way into my psyche, and even on holiday, I’m all over it.

For those of you who remember the heifer in the helicopter post, and were wondering how it went…yes I had to pay a $100 heavy levy, kind of an arse tax if you will, but it was a little discrete tile on the floor where I had to weigh in, just like everyone else and no alarms sounded, no SWAT team arrived to take out the fat girl and we had the most amazing time, flying over the Grand Canyon and eating a picnic lunch with champagne next to the Colorado river. I’ve even attached a picture by way of evidence, instead of my usual clip-art! For those of you who like or follow the Break Out The Skinny Girl Facebook page you’ll find a couple more pictures on there too.

So, enough…I’ll quit banging on about my trip now, and let’s pick up where I left off with the usual motley assortment of head spam shall we?  I have to ask myself the question what now?  This has generally been the danger zone for me…I’ve got form, in terms of dieting hard for a special event and then leaping off the dieting bandwagon with indecent haste as soon as the milestone moment has passed.  I half expected to be locked horns with the asshole at the first post-flight meal but I think he was too busy working on his exercise avoidance strategy to pay much attention to my food choices so I’ve just quietly carried on making good choices. But I need a new goal, another milestone moment to work towards…I’ll share it with you of course once I’ve figured it out:)

To coin my friend’s phrase, I’m thinking Kylie by Christmas?

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So What Makes The Cut?

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, , , ,

casesLordy, where do I even start with this one. So I’ve been busy over the last couple of days getting my stuff ready for my forthcoming trip. (What do you mean you hadn’t realised I was going away, didn’t I mention it?) And the fact that I’m only going for four nights is in no way proportional to the size of the bag I’m taking with me, in fact folk might well suspect I’m emigrating when they see me setting off.

I’ve mentioned the wardrobe situation before haven’t I, in a post a few weeks ago – my skinny clothes reside inside those closet doors whilst my fat clothes are relegated to the laundry basket/ironing pile merry-go-round. I bought quite a few new outfits before my last holiday, but I’ve got to be honest I don’t think I possess one single fat garment that I would choose to wear as a skinny girl. So what makes the cut, and gets to come on the trip? I think probably everything. I have to account for the asshole factor you see.

In the few times in my life that I’ve achieved the hallowed skinny girl status, I’ve gone mad buying clothes…lots and lots and lots of clothes. Most of which sit in my closet still, with the tags attached. Were I travelling as a skinny girl, given that we know our itinerary I’d have a carefully selected outfit for each day, each evening and maybe one or two spare things. I’d unpack, hang them up and wear what I’d planned to wear, when I’d planned to wear it and beyond that, I wouldn’t  give it much thought.

Travelling as a fat girl, with the asshole in my head in tow, it’s a different proposition. Whilst I’m packing, he’ll tell me yes that looks fine…he’ll say that about everything, pretty much. But when I’m there…different story you know? You’re really wearing that? It makes your bum look like two puppies fighting in a sack. Your arms are on display and it’s too tight…it doesn’t look right, doesn’t fit right, you look twice as big as you really are if that’s even possible…I know I’m getting better at ignoring him, but I sort of feel like I’ve got to take twice what I actually need you know? Kind of like fat girl insurance.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s no pity party going on here…it is what it is and I’m buffeted from the barbed comments he’ll sling in my direction by the deep rooted confidence that I’m on a clear path from fat to skinny, so next time I can set off with a pair of clean knickers and a toothbrush rattling around in my bag because the rest of my holiday duds will be waiting for me in the boutiques lining the malls that I’m going to pillage whilst I’m there.

There’ll definitely be shopping this week…you know the score. Maybe a bit of jewellery…a handbag perhaps…scent, yes definitely scent…fat girl accessories, but clothes, no. I don’t need fat clothes, I have them and besides they’ll have limited shelf life since I’m on the road to skinny town 🙂 And I have all the skinny clothes I need, I’m just waiting for my buns to shrink.

I have everything I need…I’m in a good place  cocktail

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