Category Archives: Diet update

The ‘before’ photo.

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So it’s Sunday…I’m not going to do anything rash this week like getting the evil scales out – it took me until Thursday to stop sulking – but I am conscious that I positioned this as a diet blog and looking back over the last week or so, all you’ve had is the random collection of chatter from inside my head but no real update.

I never intended this to be a food diary / weight-loss charting kind of blog, and the reason I started writing in the first place was to keep me on the right track as I move from fat to skinny. But as a reader, I’d be curious about how the journey was going, so how about on Sundays I do a bit of an update in terms of how I’m doing and talk about any triumphs and sticky points in my week. That way at least if I fill up every other post with head spam I have nowhere to hide in terms of progress.

I’d love to say I feel loads skinnier than I did last week but the truth is I don’t. I don’t really feel any different. I’m trying hard not to be a bit disappointed with that but I have to remember I’m in this for the long haul. I have the equivalent of one whole other person to lose, and no matter how impatient I am, that isn’t going to happen overnight.

I was out this weekend at a works’ do and someone took my picture, which always fills me with horror when I’m fat. The photo was awful. To be fair, the night hadn’t started well, because the outfit I’d taken to work to change into for the big night out looked like a total dog’s dinner – the palazzo pants which I’d worn quite happily on holiday last month have run up in the wash and would now fit someone a good foot shorter than me, the shoes didn’t work with the now half-mast pants and to add insult to injury my shirt was clingy with static and see-through without the camisole which I’d forgotten to pack.

So my only option was to change back into what I’d been wearing for work which was embarrassing enough in itself, it looked like I couldn’t be bothered to make an effort. All I see when I look at that picture is a big moon face on top of a buddha body, and someone who is very uncomfortable in their own skin. No matter how wide the smile, it’s excruciating. Still…let’s call that my ‘before’ photo and I shall use it to stoke the fire in terms of my determination to stay on track.

On the bright side, I scored a small victory in terms of the buffet which has been my dieting nemesis in the past – kudos to me, the cake shield remained firmly in place and my halo this morning has lost none of it’s sheen! So, onwards, upwards…three whole weeks in and counting. I might not feel any skinnier, but it’s all relative isn’t it – fill a bucket from the ocean and nobody’s going to notice but nevertheless the ocean is one bucketful smaller. Here’s to the next size down, I’m comin’ for ya 🙂

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The diet, 11 days in.

addictionIt’s going well. Bit light headed today but I suspect that’s because I’ve been busy, and didn’t have chance for any lunch. Other than the inside scrapings of a quiche and a couple of squares of dark chocolate I didn’t eat much yesterday either. I’m following a carb-free regime, and once the alchemy has happened and your body’s switched its fuel source to burn stored fat you don’t really feel hungry.

I’m not gonna lie, in the past, when (usually thin) people have said they forgot to eat lunch I’ve written them off as freaks, on the basis that forgetting to eat was so alien to me as a concept that they were clearly weird. Dizzy’s not good though, need to just watch that. I woke up this morning feeling thin. A bit bizarre when you consider I probably have around 140lbs of excess baggage but still, this morning before I got out of bed, I felt like Kate Moss.

When I did the all liquid diet, I loved the speed with which the weight fell off…my god once I got into my stride there was no stopping me. I stuck to it rigidly for 8 months and it really truly worked for me. There are side effects of course – how could there not be. Drinking 4 litres of water every day takes its toll, I’d never peed as much in my life. And going for a poo was a revelation, if Gillian McKeith had been presented with a bag of my poo she would have drawn the conclusion that I’d eaten Orville, it was practically luminous. Bizarre when you consider I was only drinking watery beige soup and eating the odd beige MDF diet bar.

But I’ve tried a couple of times since and I just can’t find my stride with it again, at all. Just the smell of a ketogenic soup or shake makes me want to hurl so I think that ship has sailed. Which is a shame, because I’d be far less likely to fall off the wagon if I could cut out food altogether and see results at warp speed.

I am a compulsive over-eater. A food addict if you will. I have a thyroid problem too which adds to the complexity but I estimate that my slow metabolic rate is responsible for maybe 10% of my weight problem. Hoovering up food like the world will be on short rations from tomorrow accounts for the rest.

Addiction is a funny thing. If you’re addicted to cigarettes, or drugs, or alcohol you have the option of going completely cold turkey and whilst of course I’m not suggesting it’s easy, it can be done. Sure, you’ll spend the rest of your life battling the urges, and the temptation, sweating it out and working hard to stay clean but it’s possible to go through life never again taking into your body the substance to which you’re addicted.

However. One cannot live without food, so on a daily basis a food junkie has to ‘use’. And for an addict, that’s a big problem 🙁

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