So…welcome to my blog! I’m Dee and it’s nice to meet you…I do have a Sunday name, but mainly I get Dee.
When I started writing this, I thought that throwing my thoughts out into the public domain might be an effective way of keeping myself on the straight and narrow as I tried to shift a shedload of weight with yet another diet. I was the wrong side of 300lbs, which is the equivalent of two whole people, and so the thought of reducing by half was more than a bit daunting.
Excess weight has always been a thing, for me. I grew from being a space-hopper shaped baby, to a fat child, to a chubby teenager…a brief period followed where I was almost (but not quite) slim, and I’ve spent the last 25 years playing Yo-Yo back and forth between a size 12 and a size 28. Regularly. Painfully…as I stared down the barrel of being 50 years old, I knew that enough was enough. I felt invisible, and my knees were so OVER lugging all this weight around.
If I was to try and define my blog, I guess you’d call it a collection of personal reflections as I try and unpick the spaghetti inside my head, and stick to a healthy food plan. There’s no diet advice as such, but as I’ve stumbled over light-bulb moments which have helped me, I’ve laid them all out there in the hope that they might help someone else too…there are lots of us all doing the best we can on the road to Skinny Town.
So the first picture was me 7 years ago – I was already on the slippery slope and probably 20lbs over my skinniest weight, and the smiley one was maybe 5 or 6 years ago…I struggle to believe that I felt really fat when both of these were taken. That feels so sad to me, when I’d give my right arm to look that way in the here and now. I’ve gained the equivalent of a whole other person since these were taken so these days I exist in a camera free zone. Anyway, I like to be different and rather than starting with the ‘now’ picture, here’s what I want to look like. Again 🙂
I’d always thought that once I got to Skinny Town I’d do the big reveal on my fat photos…not that there are many. But, since a few people have asked, and now being 80lbs+ down (as at August 2016), this picture of me in the blue daisy top is the photo I refer to on September 6th’s 2015 blog post The Before Photo…I’d already lost 15lbs or so by that point. See how I’m half hiding behind my friend..? It’s bad, but not as bad as it would have been if you’d copped for the lot! And the one of me looking for all the world like I’d swallowed the moon was taken in December 2014.
And this one was taken in April 2016 at the UK Blog Awards, and I was 60+lbs down. 112 lbs to go…
And this was me at around 80lbs down, taken in August 2016…I’ve had a whoopsie since then and gained a bit back but the wheels are back on now thank goodness.
Hello Dee! So glad I found your blog! I’m joining you on the journey! I aim to lose 117 pounds to reach my goal weight. I have been at it for 2 months and it certainly isn’t easy. I am blogging as well, as even if I have failures, that will at the very least keep me honest! I look forward to reading more from you!
Thanks Susan, welcome to the posse and good luck with your journey, and of course your blog! 🙂
I love how you write! Its like talking to one of my girlfriends over a glass of wine!
Look forward to following your journey.
Thanks so much Christina! It’s lovely to meet a fellow blogger and I look forward to catching up with your journey too 🙂
Cant believe Ive been reading your blog for a while and only just looked at this page! I hope you dont mind me saying that what struck me about your more recent photos is how much more confident you look! I dunno if that’s down to losing weight or being in a better headspace, but it looks well on you 🙂
Aw thank you! Coming on the back of two really rough days that’s lovely to hear ?
Dee,
I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog. I just started my journey to Skinny Town (I love that you call it that), and I know I will need all the encouragement I can get.
I have a lot of weight to lose. This didn’t happen suddenly, but somehow, I just let the pounds creep on. I kept making one bad choice after another, thinking that it was just one meal, just one dessert, just one day I sat on the couch instead of being active. Somehow, if I thought of each choice as just one thing, I gave myself a free pass. Like that one choice didn’t matter. The problem with this philosophy is that 1+1=100, or at least it did for me. One choice, plus another choice, plus another…until I got on the scale one day and saw that I had somehow added 100 pounds to my frame.
I started a blog last week, theskinnysoul.com, mostly as a personal journal to help me work through some of the problems I have beneath the skin. Inside my head. That mental video reel that continuously reminds me of my failures. I thought that there must be others like me–somewhere out there–who have struggled with the same things. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, we could connect and somehow help each other along.
Today I ran in my first race. Well…my daughter ran (a great time) in the 5k, and I walked/jogged the 1-mile fun run. I didn’t finish first, but I also didn’t finish last. I am sort-of proud to say that I finished in front of a handful of kids and a dog. It’s possible that the dog was in front of me for the entire run, until close to the end, when he suddenly refused to run any further. It’s also possible that the kids stopped, rather than leave their dog stranded. But all of this is beside the point: mostly, I am just proud to say that I finished.
I feel like I am one step closer to Skinny Town.
Hi Jamie, how lovely to meet you and how exciting that you’re starting your journey and blogging your way to skinny Town…I can’t even tell you how much writing this blog has helped me, and how much the support network which sprang up around me has made a difference. There are a few of us who prop each other up constantly, and countless more who dip in and out, offering a nugget here and there, and taking from our chatter morsels to help them in turn.
I wish you every success with your blogging journey. Feel free to link to my blog and if you’d like I could put a link to your own blog on my ‘interesting stuff’ page…every new person who reads your words helps to keep you accountable, and it matters when the noise from your asshole voice gets too loud, you know? And good on you for finishing the race – more power to you 🙂
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I feel the same way about the blog–I’m not sure that I would have gone to my race in the cold and the wet (we had a big rainstorm come through) if I hadn’t first posted about my plans.
I also can’t tell you how much it would mean to me if you added a link to my blog in “Interesting Things!” Thank you 🙂 I will definitely link to you as well.
Love your blog, and your authenticity 🙂
Thanks Jamie…and no worries at all. Perhaps you’d consider writing a piece for our guest page too? It’s more likely to be effective in drawing interest from our posse… just a thought ?
I’d love to! Is there something specific you’d like me to write about, and how would you like me submit it?
I’ll drop you an email later Jamie 🙂
I am not sure how I found your blog Dee, but I am so glad I did. I have been dipping in and out for a few weeks, and am enjoying all I read. I am not one for fitness blogs which read like the daily diary of a gym bunny, (as a fat girl I just don’t relate) and as for logging weight loss in kgs, it’s like a foreign language. My problem I know, but I love how you write about your life and thoughts. I have been the wrong side of 60 for two years and spent the last decade promising myself I’d sort out my shape, fitness and weight. It didn’t happen. It didn’t happen as 60 approached either. I blame a lack of really wanting it. The comfort zone of the sofa, Netflix and a family sized bag of Maltesers (all to myself) had more pulling power. Now, and for the last three months I have half-heartedly attempted to eat healthily and move myself more. I lack discipline, because I think I am quite content. I am content until someone wants to take a photo, or I have to go to an event and know I look hideous in all my ‘best’ clothes, or catching a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror (I avoid them at home) makes me run to the fridge to find comfort food. I am annoyed that I let myself get fatter and fatter, because it’s ruined my self-confidence, although I try hard to be the smiley person who’s good company. I don’t want to live like this any longer, but I so lack self-discipline. The internet is great for motivation, and I am so glad I came across your blog. I can relate to so much you tell us about. Now, I just need to find a will of iron, and the self-talk that keeps me on track when I feel like soothing bad days with food. Exercise will be the next step. Thanks for writing as you do, no holds barred, and well done on your weight-loss success.
Deb there’s so much to talk about in your note that I’m going to move it into the Thoughts From The Posse page – I’m sure lots of our posse will identify and relate to what you’re going through. They might even share their own thoughts by way of encouragement, it’s sort of what we do, you know? Thanks for sharing, being so honest and open about your struggles is really hard and I’m sending you a massive virtual hug by way of support 🙂
Hello all. Normally avoid these sorts of things, as they are often quite smug and chock-full of ‘dodgy’ tips masquerading as healthy advice. But you’ve all touched me, as you’re my age: 50(ish), so decided to speak up.
You are all painfully aware of the story: fat-ish child, quite fat teen, weight up and down over the years. Topped out at 24ish stone. At 48 years had bad knees, bad back, horrendous fibroids, high-ish blood pressure, etc. I was looking at walking with a stick by the time I was 50. I was also struggling with depression and the life-long self-esteem issues many of you are familiar with, as well as all the vanity issues associated with getting older.
It scared me. The pain was bad enough; I knew it was all going to get a lot worse. So, I ‘got on with it’. No fads. Just not putting so much in my gob, and walking a lot. It was horrible, and took FOREVER. It worked.
I’ve been 10st 7ish for 4+ years. It is a daily struggle. It’s still often horrible, as I miss not eating- it was/is my comfort blanket/coping strategy . But nothing hurts, and I’m quite healthy. So, I remind myself of that, and count myself very lucky that I ‘caught it’ in time.
So, a few things: please keep trying- it’s worth it. All your problems will NOT be solved (you’ll start worrying about you thinning hair or wrinkles), but you will be able to move without pain, or avoid it in future, if it hasn’t started already.
And you won’t feel the shame all the time, as the names you call yourself are far more hurtful and persistent than the ones others hurl at you.
Very, very best of luck. If this encourages just one of you, then it will have been worth ‘putting myself out there.’
K…wow what can I say. I don’t know so much about encouraging just one of us, your story is inspiring and I’m so touched that you’d step out of your norm to share it with us. Thank you. I think you will have helped a great deal to keep the determination alive in all of us. There’s no ‘smug’ allowed on here – I’ve always tried to be really honest (probably too much at times) about the struggles but I’ve also tried to pull out the humour so we can all keep smiling as we just wade through the slog of getting from fat to skinny. This is me being accountable, and with like-minded company, and it’s helping. 10st 7 is bang on where I should really be for my height so that’s where I’m aiming for if I can hit this journey straight. Kudos to you for both getting there and staying there which is even harder! Your perspective on some of the issues we natter on about would be both relevant and interesting so I hope you stop by again and share what’s on your mind. Even though you’re now a skinny string bean and we’re all envious you’re definitely a fully paid up earned-your-stripes member of the posse! D x
Gonna enjoy reading these my lovely xx
Good!
I want to thank you for your blog. I am currently north of 300 pounds…(around 315) The most terrifying thing to me is that I will die and never get to live a life with the body weight that I need to be (I recently celebrated my 69th birthday) I’ve felt like giving up because of my age, but I’m an unhappy camper, and I have a lot of pain… in my back, my hips, and knees…and I can barely walk. I have very little activity in my life, and don’t have much to look forward to. My social life is almost non existent. I know that I am this way because of my weight.
I pray that I have finally found the courage to stick to a sensible weight loss plan on a daily basis. I feel that the quality of my life will change greatly.
Good luck to you for your continued success.
Carolyn, thank you and welcome to the posse…you’re about where I was when I started, and you know that saying if you look back and wish that you’d made that change one year ago..? That’s what I did, one year ago in august and I’m now 70lbs down and feeling like I’ve rejoined my life. I’ve still got a way to go, but it’s happening. You can really do this Carolyn, and we’re all rooting for you…one year from now you’ll be so glad you did 🙂
Just found this blog and it’s so honest,witty and entertaining and boy,can I relate! I too am staring down the barrel of 50 and over the past year or so seem to have acquired a whole tyre shop around my middle and it HAS to go,no question,but it’s soooo difficult. A few years ago if I gained half a stone I would cut out carbs for a couple of weeks and hey presto! Now I seem to give up after a day or two,what the hell is happening?! I would love to share this journey with you guys if I may.
Hey Ellie, of course you can, you’re more than welcome! There’s a fair few of us now in the old posse, and we’re growing by the day…my number one fan keeps posting cheeky comments in the Daily Mail and it’s bringing lots of curious people to see what we’re all about! Anyway, welcome and I hope you enjoy the blog x
Thanks so much Dee! I’ve been reading your blogs from the beginning and it’s so empowering to know that a fair few of us feel the same regarding the battle of the bulge. BTW,you can now add Bahrain to your list of countries!
Fantastic…a truly international effort then! How amazing to know that our support network spreads so far and wide 🙂
Just found your blog through Mail Online, read it all from the beginning (slow day at work). You are amazing, funny, witty and entertaining and so many of your points hit home with me. I too have had an affair with every diet known to mankind since I was 13.
More about me another time perhaps.
Wishing you all the luck and willpower you need and deserve and looking forward to many more daily doses of you. x
Well bless your heart Jackie, I just had a really tough day and those words were like aloe vera on sunburn! I’m glad you found us, and welcome to the posse – we have a big support network going on, loads of people chip in with their own thoughts and ideas and we’re all just helping each other to get by the best way we can on our collective quest to shed the weight. I can already tell you’re going to fit right in! Dee x
Hey there, loving the Blog, and this could have been written about me! I have been on a diet of one form or another since I was 17. Am now 45. And I wish I was as fat as I thought I was then! Looking forward to reading all your posts. Sx
Hi Soozy, welcome to the posse, it’s lovely to have you on board!
Good morning. It’s October & when i checked in on the Crabby Fitness blog, i heard about yours… BTW, you may be a writer. Reads pretty good. Wishing you continued success. -FleuryKnox
Hello – I’m glad you came to say hello! I’m definitely a fat girl who loves to write rather than a writer who happens to be fat (!) but you never know, old dog/new tricks and all that, maybe there’s a book in me at some point! Welcome to the blog, you’re very welcome and I appreciate your kind words. Dee x
Yes, you are definitely not alone. I am 52, with a similar tale. This is week 1 for me, so I will be following your progress. Maybe I will even do my own blog… great idea! Onwards and downwards (on those scales!). Lxxx
Lizzie, good to meet you and best of luck with your journey too! x
You are not alone in this journey, I am a 51 year old that has an arse with its own zip code! We will travel thia road together! Good luck my friend.
Welcome, how lovely to hear from you…I look forward to your company!
You have my attention already,so Im looking forward to joining you on this journey too xxx
Thanks for the lovely comment, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog 🙂