I’m just checking in. I promise with every bit of me that I’ve not quit, given up or stopped blogging even though every piece of evidence points to the contrary.

I’m still here…she shouts into the silence! I know.

I’m just still really really knocked off my feet by this Godawful ear infection that’s been raging for almost two weeks. I’m on my third lot of (really strong now) antibiotics and as of Thursday they hadn’t managed to stem the infection, although the (also very strong) anti-inflammatory drugs have thankfully brought the swelling down, around my neck and face.

At its peak, I could barely speak, because my face and neck were too swollen to move my jaw. I couldn’t turn my neck. I was trying to suck tapioca from a teaspoon just to get some food inside me because one of the drugs couldn’t be taken on an empty stomach. The other one said take two hours after food, but I was in so much pain I could never work out which pill to have at what time, and so I ate the odd bit of rice pudding here and there and hoped for the best. It was awful.

Anyway. I’m going in the right direction. I’m not in much pain now, although I can’t hear a thing on the left side except the pounding inside my head and a relentless crackle inside my ear. I’m just exhausted though. I’m nowhere near ready to go back to work but I don’t have the luxury of time for a gentle convalescence, I’ve been off long enough. It’s complicated, but I’ll just have to do the best I can. If that means preserving my energy by not being quite so vocal in here for a bit, that’s just how it has to be.

I walked the 500m or so to the post office yesterday, and spent the whole time I was waiting to post my parcel wondering how I was going to make it back home again. I was wiped out. I’ve missed a weekend at Foxy Lodge with my girlies this weekend which I was so upset about but I just wasn’t well enough to get there.

Today I had every intention of writing a proper post for Monday, but being Mother’s Day and all, I brought Mum across for the afternoon. And today that’s been challenging, for all sorts of reasons. And now I’m exhausted again, and don’t have much of a post cobbled together for you.

I could summarise…it’s been utterly fucking wretched. My eating has been based around whatever I’ve fancied that I could suck on – sadly Haagen Dazs fulfilled the brief so there’s been a fair bit of that consumed, I’m not gonna lie. I justified it by telling myself I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough for broccoli.

So yeah. Now I say it out loud…

Things may be a little slow around here for a while. If I’m going to have to spend wisely in terms of my energy reserve it’ll have to be work first – I need to pay the bills – followed by family stuff with whatever I have left over split between everything else. I know you’ll understand, if I’m dead on my feet and have to prioritise sleep over writing.

I hope you’re all okay – Nicola and Kayleigh are both back and active again on their Shitbird pages.

Me…? No, not yet. Still haven’t been near it. Bite me 🙂

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