So, you know that expression pride comes before a fall..? Yeah well I didn’t actually think it was meant literally you know? I was almost home yesterday after a nice long walk with the furry one, and I was feeling proud, having seen the output from a really great week. I had a proper spring in my step, I mean I was motoring. I’d shaved five whole minutes off my best three-mile-walk time, and I was nearly home. And then I fell. Well, I’m saying that…I didn’t fall exactly.

If I’d fallen I don’t think I would be hurting quite as much as I am. I had to come right into the side of the lane so a car could get past, and I was so busy reeling Charlie dog in on his extending lead that I didn’t take much notice of where I was putting my feet. So my left foot hit a patch of moss and mud, and as I followed the step through and transferred my weight onto my left leg, before I had chance to react it sort of took off unexpectedly and although I managed to stay upright, I pretty much did the splits.

Ouch, just bloody ouch. My body’s not built for moves like that, you know? I kind of hovered there with my tushy skimming the ground and wondered how in God’s name I was going to get up again. Of course the car had gone sailing past and even splashed me, to add insult to injury. Twat. And as I descended in slow motion to his level, Charlie immediately thought it was some new kind of game and he was well up for some fun, running around me in circles with his tail wagging ten to the dozen. I managed to push myself upright and hobble home, but oh lord I swear I almost split my difference.

So now, today, I’m really really sore. The muscle that runs all the way up the back of my right leg to my butt cheek is screaming at me with every step and I feel like I’ve had a good kicking. I didn’t actually hit the deck, but I may as well have…the back of my thigh and my bum are a lovely shade of purple. Overnight everything stiffened up, so as I drafted this first thing this morning, having already hobbled to the bathroom and back I knew today was going to suck.

The funniest thing, was going to pick up my mum yesterday afternoon so she could come and spend Sunday afternoon here as she generally does and walking so tentatively to her room through the residential home where she lives that I almost got overtaken by an elderly gentleman on his zimmer frame. In hindsight I should have borrowed it, something tells me it might have come in quite handy over the next few days!

So, no hurt machine for me last night, and I suspect I’m going to be keeping a low profile for the rest of this week where exercise is concerned…having just visited the doc, I’ve come out armed with anti-inflammatories and painkillers and instructions to take it very easy for the next few days before building up my activity again slowly as things start to settle down.

The best laid plans, and all that. Still, frustrating as it is, it could have been worse. Nothing’s broken, just twanged muscles, a trapped nerve and a multicoloured backside. I’m a tough old bird, and I’m sure by the weekend I’ll be feeling a bit better but I can’t even begin to tell you how much it hurts!

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