Monthly Archives: December 2015

In For A Penny…

Freeform thoughts, , ,

kitten lion

So you know I said I was going to find a longer term fitness challenge..? I knew I’d find the perfect thing if I was patient. I wanted it to be something I have plenty of time to plan and prepare for, something really challenging but do-able. I need to be able to get fit enough to be 100% confident I’ll achieve it, and I wanted it to be something so awesome that I would always remember it. A defining moment you know?

Quite a lot of you have reached out to suggest things, and you know what, I might do a couple of race for life events as a way of building up my endurance and stamina, although I have to manage your expectations up front and say there’ll be less racing and more red-faced sweaty walking going on, depending on when they take place. After my two and a half mile walk on Saturday I feel like someone’s run me over with a truck but I’m quietly pleased with the way I pushed through my aches and pains when I took Charlie dog out yesterday afternoon…we even did the long circuit much to his delight.

I’ve also had a couple of offers to head on over the pond and participate in some local events, all of which I’d love to do at some point…imagine that, the former fat girl’s world fitness tour 🙂 But first, listen… I’ve found it. I’ve found the thing I’m going to do. I’ve already thrown my hat into the ring, registered my interest and I’m just waiting to find out whether my application has been accepted. And I’m so psyched about it…I’ll be on pins until January when I find out. But I can’t afford to wait…I need to start planning my approach.

So…want to know what it is..?

If my application is accepted, in October 2016 I’ll be completing a 90km trek over five days, from Havana across the Escambray mountain range to Trinidad in central Cuba. It’s the kind of challenge I never dared to imagine would be possible on a personal level, and I’m also hoping to raise a wedge of money for my chosen charity.

I should perhaps point out that right at this moment, the asshole in my mind has keeled over, laughing hysterically and in between snorts of derision is busy trying to tell me that it’s impossible – and I’ve got to be honest, if I really sit and think about it, fuck me it’s a big ask. In the next nine months I need to lose at least 70lbs, and build up enough stamina to be able to trek roughly 18km per day over some big-assed hills. I’m more scared about having to sleep in a tent than I can tell you…without blowing my own trumpet I’d make a lovely supper for a dingo, and besides that they have spiders the size of tanks in Cuba. I mean talk about in for a penny, in for a pound. But you know what, I can do it.

I’ll still be 60lbs too heavy for my frame at that point, but if I’ve given it everything I’ve got in nine months of training, I’ll have a reasonable level of fitness, and when I get back I’ll be on the home stretch on that journey to Skinny Town, right? It’s a massive thing, and right now I’m getting carried along by excitement, terror and pure blind faith that things will work out ok.

So, posse…what do you think..? Do you reckon I can do it..?

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Me? I Said That?

In the here & now, ,

feet

Well what an awesome weekend we just had…honestly, if laughing was an olympic sport we would have had every place on the podium. I will forever look back at the weekend and smile – the messy and highly inappropriate Friday afternoon session where we worked our way through the extensive cocktail menu in the lido lounge as we set sail across a very choppy sea is one highlight. The Salty Dog cocktail which tasted of feet was particularly memorable.

The Friday evening dinner followed by super-cheesy jazz hands entertainment with more than a few singers who wouldn’t have been able to hit a note if their lives had depended on it was hilarious.  The open-top bus tour of Dublin in the wind yesterday was good fun especially since one of our gang was trying to sleep off the excesses of Friday night on the back seat, and mooching around the Christmas markets was very festive…it’s just been epic, all of it.

I’m very happy to report that even with Singapore Slings and Whisky Sours running through my veins I wasn’t tempted to renege on the deal where my food plan was concerned and that’s one of the things I will look back on with immense satisfaction. I did it! I made a plan, and I stuck to it. Which, you know to Joe Average is sort of normal, nothing to write home about. For me, it still feels like a major achievement when it’s related to making skinny choices.

We came out of the Christmas markets area yesterday with the intention of flagging a taxi back to the ship, which we could just about see in the distance. I heard someone say the words why don’t we just walk? and as I looked around to see who’d made such a ridiculous suggestion, I saw five friends with their mouths open staring at me, and realised it was me. I’d suggested that. WTF is that all about?

So we did. It was about two and a half miles in the end, according to my wrist bitch, which to be fair I almost had to reboot – her internal micro chip came close to meltdown. On a daily basis she’s used to giving me a virtual kick up the hiney with encouraging messages like Come on, you’re an eighth of the way towards your daily move target! and Don’t give up now, just another nine thousand steps to go! Yesterday I’d swear there was a touch of hysteria when she announced You have reached your daily move target! When she realised I’d doubled it she was verging on emotional.

I was so knackered when we got back – I was footsore and my Ugg boots had rubbed blisters on my heels, but I did it. It was the kind of thing a normal person would do you know? I felt awesome. Well, to be more accurate I felt awesome after I’d made it as far as the ship’s spa for an emergency pedicure and foot massage, which I figured I’d earned 🙂 You know as I reflect back to my holiday in August when every step was agony, when I spent the time on shore excursions looking for a place to sit and rest my 300lb+ body and walking was something I was major-league struggling with it served as another sharp reminder of exactly how far I’ve come over the last four months.

It’s a good job – remember I said I was looking around for my longer term fitness challenge..? I’ve seen it…I know what I want to do.

If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you, right? Watch this space 🙂

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Reframing My Perspective

Freeform thoughts, ,

perspective

I’ve always thought that perspective is a mystical thing. It captivates me how two people can look at one thing, whether that’s a picture, an object or even just a situation, and see two completely different things. And the view of the two people next to them would be different again. How can that even happen..? It’s like anything else to do with the human condition…an endless source of fascination. You may have come across this picture before…do you see the elegant young lady looking over the right hand shoulder of her fur coat, or do you see the wizened old lady with a pointy chin and sad eyes..?

I’m less clear what it says about us as individuals depending on which one we see first, but I do know that seeing both perspectives is easier when you’ve studied it awhile, or maybe if someone shows you a different way of looking at it. Some people can only ever see the one angle. And that’s pretty reflective of the way people see the world too. We’re all different.

My perspective varies depending on the way I’m feeling about two things; how much my eating is in or out of control, and how fat or skinny I am. I’m not talking about the picture now, I’m talking about the way I see things around me, and the way I interpret situations. I could look at the same challenge, and evaluate my ability to overcome it in two completely different ways depending on my perspective in that moment.

Let me give you an example. You all know I’m rooted firmly in this sweet spot where my diet is concerned, right? I’ve got a lot of skin in the game since my last bad food decision – I’ve been dieting for exactly four months and although I switched food plans, and I’ve done a little creative points allocation here and there to accommodate life, I’ve never stepped off the path. Not once.

And the fact that I haven’t, means I’m not likely to, you know? I feel strong, and as though I can go toe to toe with any food challenge which comes my way, and ace it. My four months’ worth of skinny choices is the anchor which is keeping me in the sweet spot. But let’s just imagine that this weekend I blew it, with the intention of getting back in the game on Monday.

Come Monday, I’d have no skin in the game since my last bad food decision…I’d be starting again with a clean sheet. No anchor. And without the anchor, my perspective on all of it is different. It’s much easier to think oh go on then…I’ll start again tomorrow…or Monday, yes that’s it I’ll start again on Monday.

So how cool would it be, if we could re-frame our perspective and use that to wrestle control back over what we do and how we feel? I was reading an article a few days ago about re-programming cellular memory as a way of reducing anxiety, and I wonder if we might be able to bend the concept a bit and see whether it would work as a tool in our collective kit-bag.

Go with me on this one ok?

Imagine it’s a Monday, and on the Sunday you’d fallen out of the naughty tree and hit every branch on the way down, I mean I’m talking big-time naughty…full english breakfast, big old sunday lunch followed by sticky toffee pudding, and then crumpets with lashings of butter for tea. So it’s Monday and you wake up feeling like crap knowing you blew it yesterday.

What if, you could lay there and walk your way through yesterday in your mind, but substitute the memory of those naughty meals with skinny choices. If you were able to imagine how those grapefruit segments in natural juice tasted so sweet and sharp on your tongue at breakfast time. How the lean fillet steak and light-roasted vegetables tasted at lunchtime, and how you weren’t really hungry at tea time so you had a nice skinny latte with a couple of crackers later in the day.

How effective do you think that would be, with a bit of practice, in terms of re-framing your perspective on how well the food plan is going, and how strong you are?

I’m curious, as to whether it might work. I mean, we’d need to exercise caution…if it works, the asshole in my mind would be all over it, encouraging me to throw caution to the wind today because tomorrow I can fool my head into thinking I’ve been good and we wipe the slate clean. But as a concept, for emergency slip-ups only it might be worth a shot, as a way of getting our head back in the game quickly.

What do you think..? Shall we have a go..? First one to slip on a banana skin over the holidays gives it a shot and reports back so the posse can pick over the bones and decide whether it’s in or out of the toolkit?

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Dear Santa

Freeform thoughts, , ,

santa

Having given it a lot of thought, I believe I am a reformed character, so this year I think I can send you a Christmas wish list without fear that you’re going to die laughing when I try and tell you what a good girl I’ve been. I mean, I know strictly speaking I haven’t been good for a whole year, but since the 17th of August I’ve made up for it, and compared to any year in recent history my behaviour has been nothing short of a miracle.

I know, I know, we have history. I genuinely hang my head in shame when I think about all the occasions where my boy left a lovely selection of chocolate and mince pies out on Christmas eve to welcome you and say thanks for coming, and I selfishly scoffed the lot before I went to bed. Yes ok, and the sherry. I even ate Rudolph’s carrot one year, but after the sherry and half a bottle of baileys, I’d lost my sense of perspective and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I’d also like to apologise for the occasions when I’ve ventured out in fancy dress and posed as your good self. My friends were all rocking the sexy santa look, but me…well I looked more like you than you do. I’ve got the girth and to be fair, now I’m over fifty I’ve even got the beard. But I’m hoping we can put my past indiscretions behind us and move on. Life’s too short to bear grudges, right?

So anyway, in my Christmas stocking I’d love to find some patience. I’m hoping you have some in stock, because it’s a long way to Skinny Town and if I run out on the way I’ll be in trouble. No, I mean I’ll really be in trouble, you know like last time and the time before that..? When I didn’t get there quickly enough I just gave up and returned to Mooseville with my tail between my legs. I know I’ve got the posse at my back this time and I reckon they’d have my guts for garters if I even thought about quitting, but you know it doesn’t hurt to take a belt and braces approach. I’m just making sure.

I’d also love it if you could arrange for me to have some top-up vouchers for my willpower. I mean I’m doing ok at the moment, and there’s plenty left in the old tank but you never know when you’re going to get caught a bit short. I might not need them, I’m feeling a bit cocky these days and I’ve resisted the emergency hob-nob for the last four months, which is pretty impressive. Well, when I say resisted, I did lick the chocolate off one corner of it when I was having a bad day but I won the fight with the asshole in my mind before any actual biting happened. It was a close call mind you.

At the risk of sounding greedy, might I trouble you finally for a small box of determination? I’ve promised to choose a big event to train for in the New Year, and although I haven’t decided exactly what I’m going to do I need to go from zero to hero far more quickly than my old fat body is expecting. I’m going to have to throw everything I’ve got at it, including all the determination I can get my hands on.

Let’s call this the 2016 Skinny Town Travel Kit. It would be awesome if you could drop an identical one into the stockings of everyone in the posse too…a little thank you from me since this journey probably wouldn’t be happening without them. Oh, and just take it easy with the candy sticks, if you don’t mind. We do veggie sticks in this posse.

Lots of love and a kiss for Rudolph…pass on my apologies for the carrot 🙂

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Holding The Line

Freeform thoughts, ,

no to food

So there’s only a couple of days left before our little mini break and I can’t wait to soak up the atmosphere of the Christmas markets in Dublin this weekend with a bunch of friends. I’ve been irritatingly angelic on my diet this week, I’ve not used any of my weekly points and I’ve resisted temptation despite being bombarded from all quarters.

My boss’s husband baked the most enormous victoria sandwich cake the other day which he brought into work for the team and OMG it looked absolutely lush, I was practically drooling…but I didn’t go near it 🙂

I’m slowly getting my head around the new Weight Watchers points system, it’s much easier to understand now they’ve got rid of the gremlins from their website…I think it’s going to be quite effective for no other reason than most of the things I like to eat as treats seem to have doubled in points so it’s put me off eating them. I’m not sure that’s sustainable, but for this week at least it’s not a bad thing. Plus I grumbled at them a bit and they gave me two weeks for free so all is forgiven, providing the diet works of course.

So as you know I’ve carved out a bit of slack for myself ahead of this weekend, but I’m not planning on going mad – I daren’t, in case my place in the sweet spot disappears in a puff of smoke. I’ll probably hold the line, stick to skinny food choices as much as I can and spend my extra points on fizz…that sounds like a good plan, right?

My friend doesn’t think so apparently. Her actual words when I outlined my plan were for God’s sake woman live a little! Delivered with tone of voice straight our of Snarkyville. It seems that in her humble opinion, the friends I’m travelling with will think I’m a proper diet bore if I don’t continually stuff my face with naughty things whilst I’m away. I don’t agree, and I might have mentioned that, just before I thanked her for her support. With a tone of voice straight out of Siberia. Yes, I see yours and raise you!

You want to know what proper support looks like to me? Eight years ago when I was doing the liquid diet, I spent 7 months drinking soups and shakes. In the middle of that time, my best friend and I went on holiday to a fabulous hotel in Turkey which was full board with the most amazing food…I never ate a morsel all week. We went down to dinner together every night, to our usual table right by the sea, and she ate her dinner whilst we chatted and admired the view.

I drank water and was perfectly happy, and she ate like a normal person and was equally happy. She knew it was important to me and she never batted an eyelid. That’s support right there. I lost five and a half pounds that week on top of having an amazing holiday. So forgive me for not believing that the friends I’m away with this weekend will be affronted by me declining pudding in favour of coffee, I mean why the chuff would they even be bothered?

They know I’m dieting, and it’s no big deal. You can bet your bottom dollar if there was a skinny string bean friend amongst us who curled her petite little nose up at anything with an actual calorie in it, nobody would give it a second thought. If the fat girl makes skinny choices, why should it be different? In any event, knowing my friends as I do, by the time dessert arrives they’ll be too pissed to notice anyway 🙂

 

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