Monthly Archives: November 2015

I Spy, With My Little Eye…

Diet update, In the here & now, , ,

green shoot

I sort of got distracted and a bit giddy at the weekend by the fact that we had a blog anniversary, so as I sat down to do my customary reflections on the week and non-diety diet update I talked more about the blog than about me. I ran out of space before I’d gotten to talking about me…I’m kind of ok with that but you know what, this past week for the first time it’s occurred to me that I’m starting to see some really subtle changes in my physical self. And I should tell you!

When I say subtle, I really mean subtle…I haven’t leaped out of bed on any given day feeling different, but you know that way where you’ve had toothache or a sore muscle for a while and it’s become the kind of dull ache you get used to? It’s not until you suddenly notice that it’s not aching quite as much as it did that you stop short and think when did that happen..? Well, my stop short moment happened on Friday evening last week when I was out with some friends for dinner.

We ate in a lovely restaurant that we’ve been to before but I’ve got to be honest and say that the chairs aren’t the most comfortable chairs I’ve ever sat on…the round wooden seats are not built for bums of substance. Last time we were there I remember being so uncomfortable, to the point where it was distracting. I felt shuffly all night, you know? Now don’t get me wrong, I could still have easily pulled two together and claimed one for each cheek, however I left the restaurant this time without feeling that I’d been balanced on a button all night. Subtle, but different.

And yesterday, when I was out walking with Charlie…we got to the point in the walk where we can turn right to complete a circuit back home, or carry on up the hill to do a much bigger circuit. He kind of throws me that resigned look when we get to the crossroads, having long ago realised that nine times out of ten we’re going right. As we got there yesterday, the red hot poker in my knee wasn’t trying to take my breath away with every step, so much to his delight we carried on. Again, don’t get me wrong, the long route still only takes us a mile or so but the difference yesterday was it only hurt a little bit. Subtle, but different.

Getting in and out of the car feels a little bit easier, because I’m just that little bit less restricted by all the padding around my middle. I’m two dress sizes smaller than when I started this journey back in August. Again, the difference between a 28 and a 24 is not as noticeable as the difference between a 16 and a 12…so it’s subtle, but it’s there. And I feel it.

So I spy, with my little eye…green shoots are starting to poke their inquisitive little tips out of this fat suit. My friend commented last week that she saw my thin face, just for a second before it disappeared back into it’s cradle of double chin, but it popped out for a quick look around none the less…I’m here to tell you it’s been a while since that saw the light of day.

Someone once said to me just because you don’t see results after a day, or a week, don’t give up…you may not see changes, but every good choice you make is affecting you in ways you cannot imagine.

Ain’t that the truth!

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Unsubscribe!

In the here & now, ,

unsubscribe

So we see lots of things these days with an ‘unsubscribe’ button, right? I’ve got to be honest, I’m often the first to press it. I’d go so far as to say I press it liberally. Usually on the basis that I’ve received something I wasn’t aware that I’d subscribed to in the first place. I did what? I ordered one item, one time from an on-line store, and they now seem to think I need an email reminder every week in case I ever feel the need to order another one? Shoo! I don’t need that email. That email gets right up my nose.

I have a subscriber list myself, and I’m constantly checking to make sure that if anyone’s clicked the link to go cold turkey on their skinny mail, I action it straight away – I’d hate to be a nuisance to anyone. I mean don’t get me wrong…I’ve only had four of the posse unsubscribe so far but I held a little inquest with myself after each one about what might have prompted them to pack their knapsack and bid us farewell. I think that’s human nature isn’t it?

When I’d finished waving my spotted hanky and they were but a speck in the distance I read, and re-read their last post. I mean, was it a shit post? Maybe I’d offended them by using a naughty word. Maybe it wasn’t funny enough, or poignant enough, or maybe just not good enough…what if I’d crossed the line into self indulgence or just plain mardy? I had a quiet word with myself after the asshole in my mind had kicked a lot of these thoughts into play and moved on – I applied some logic. Some people come into your life for a reason…some people come into your life for a season. Maybe it’s the same with mailing lists, right..?

That said, I doubt very much that most commercial subscriber lists have an actual person who manages them…it’s probably all done by computer. But it’s really annoying when you do choose to click the button and you keep on getting mail. The worst one I’ve known is Princess Cruises…I have no hesitation in naming and shaming, since they’re practically stalking me. I managed to make the connection last time between fancying a trip and finding their website all on my own without them sending me links several times a week. Since I returned from my last trip with them in August however, I have unsubscribed at least twice a week and yet still the emails keep coming. Maybe I should start billing them for my time.

I think the asshole in my mind has a similarly ineffective unsubscribe button. He’s got a broad collection of headings under which his various newsletters sit – what I do, what I say, what I look like, what people think of me…what I wear, what I don’t do well, reasons that make cheating on my diet and falling off the wagon ok…you get the picture. I click the unsubscribe button on every one of his negative thoughts, every time, but still they keep coming.

In some respects, it plays to my stubborn streak. The more emails Princess Cruises send to me and the more they ignore my requests to stop, the less likely I would be to pick them for my next holiday, mainly because they’re getting on my last good nerve. Maybe, just maybe that’s why the asshole in my mind doesn’t seem to have the same power over me as he used to..? The volume of his junk mail got to such a point that few of his messages have landed in the last couple of months. So whilst his unsubscribe button might be on the blink, it’s fair to say that his campaign to undermine my trip to Skinny Town isn’t going well. And how much does THAT make me smile 🙂

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It’s All About The Peas

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now,

peas

So I’ve been thrown a bit off-kilter this last week by some crappy personal stuff I’ve got going on – I know it’ll resolve itself one way or the other but it’s brought into focus just how easy it is for the sort of stuff that comes at you from left field to knock you off the rails you know? I clung on for dear life – you guys saw my mid-week wobble – but if I’m being completely honest I didn’t help the situation by a severe case last weekend of can’t-be-arsed-itus.

Preparation and Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. For those of you who’ve been on any kind of training course, ever, you’ll probably recognise all the P’s…grudgingly, despite the size of the cliche, the sentiment behind them is right. Last weekend, the last thing I felt like doing was schlepping around the supermarket doing the weekly shop. So I didn’t, I rebelled. With my own small gesture of anarchy, I spent all my weekend doing no chores whatsoever, and made it all about me. 

I did a bit of reading. Teed some ideas up for last week’s blog posts and did a bit of writing. Watched a couple of movies…spent some time with my mum, had dinner with a friend and took my boy out for Sunday lunch. But I didn’t stock up the cupboards…a decision which by Monday, struck me as being just to the left of stupid. I work miles from where I live, therefore a full day at work sandwiched between an hour’s drive either side means that by the time I get home after putting in a twelve hour day, shopping for food isn’t really top of any list I’d pull together of appealing options.

So my meals this week have been a weird combination  of stuff cobbled together from the freezer, lunches bought daily instead of being prepared at home, and takeaways. I managed to stay within points – just – Weight Watchers helpfully produce an ‘eating out’ book which you can use to inform your ‘prepared by other people’ choices although it’s only ever an estimate. As a result, the only pounds I’ve lost this week have been ones from my wallet. Dumbass.

On a positive note, the importance of preparation being the thing that gives me the best possible fighting chance of staying on track is once again front and centre of my mind. It creates the right conditions. It’s easier to eat within a food plan if you have the right kind of stuff to hand rather than looking hopefully into the back of the cupboard only to find all those things which were bought on impulse, have been ignored for months or that don’t really go with anything else you have in the house. And by the way, on the off-chance that you ever find yourself in the same situation, and a kidney bean omelette seems like a good idea, I’m here to tell you it’s not. Even liberally sprinkled with cayenne pepper…I’d rather chew my own feet.

So it’s chore city here at Skinny Towers this weekend but you know what, a sharp reminder from time to time isn’t a bad thing. The difference is these days, lack of preparation is an occasional blip…as a fully paid up resident of Mooseville, it was a way of life. Cleaning up your act is about more than what you eat, right? It’s about choosing your attitude, choosing your approach, choosing your outcome. The minute you opt out and stop making those choices, you risk the wheels coming off.

It could have been a perfect storm this week, but it passed. This week I’m all over it. It’ll be another tough week amongst the shit-storm but in terms of the food plan I’ll create perfect conditions up ahead of time, and it’ll be easier to dodge the showers 🙂

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Three Months A Blog

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, Reflections on past times, , , ,

3mCan you believe it’s three whole months since that rainy post-holiday Saturday when I sat down and flexed my fingers over the keyboard for the very first time. That’s a quarter of a whole year!! Crikey it feels like we’ve walked miles together since then don’t you think..? I just mooched a couple of hours away this morning by working my way through all the blog posts I’ve written, and of course all your comments which for me, are a constant source of pride and inspiration.

It’s the first time I’ve really properly looked back – I mean I know I’m the queen of edit, often before you get to see my daily dollop of words they’ve spent a few days simmering in the cooking pot and it’s rare that they escape onto the page without having been chopped and changed, pulled apart and put back together again until I’m as happy as I’m ever going to be – that’s just the perfectionist in me. I know I need to get over myself but I just want it to be good you know? Asshole is chipping in here with the words control freak by the way, just thought I’d share that 🙂

I never edit after they’re published, in fact once they’re out there I tend not to read them again, focusing instead on what you write, and of course what’s coming up next. But what I noticed as I’ve worked my way through every post from the beginning, including your bits was how much it’s evolved over a relatively short period of time. I didn’t really imagine this would ever be anything more than a self-propelled written conscience, perhaps with an occasional visitor who’d more than likely wandered in by mistake and politely passed the time of day before moving on. But look what we turned into!

There weren’t many comments in the early days, but the ones I got were treasured. I read and re-read them…I wondered about the person who’d written them. Where they lived, what their story was you know? I wondered what had led them to my blog, and what had prompted them to leave their own footprint on it by chipping in with thoughts of their own. I still do that now. Looking back, I can see where some of our familiar names fell into step and started to really build this community and now, I just feel quite humbled by the way it’s gathered it’s own momentum and become a thing, you know?

I love the way we all relate – all of our stories are similar and yet different. Wherever in the world we happen to live, we’re all unique as individuals, but connected. United in this fight against the fat suits we somehow managed to get ourselves zipped into. In the back office at Skinny Girl HQ – aka my kitchen ha ha – I can look at the analytics tool which shows me how many visitors I’ve had, and which posts they’ve visited, and I get a massive blast of inner sunshine when I see a new visitor has somehow landed on the latest post, and stuck around to have a really good root around lots of the older stuff.  And when someone writes and says they’ve laughed, or cried, or felt supported or understood by something that one of us has written or shared, well that’s the best feeling of all.

So anyway…my name’s Dee and I’m a food addict. But I am 3 months clean and sober, mainly down to you guys. It’s never easy, but so far, this route to Skinny Town is proving to be way more enjoyable than I could have hoped for, and a million miles away from the boulder-strewn paths I’ve been used to navigating in the past…that has to be the posse factor, right?

Happy anniversary, I appreciate your company more than I can tell you…big hugs all around 🙂

 

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A Bucket Of Social Wellness

Freeform thoughts, In the here & now, , ,

social

So yesterday we chatted about meditation, which was one of Kerry Petsinger’s suggestions in the ‘spiritual wellness’ bucket of ways in which you can love yourself. Or rather my lack of skill in the meditation department. Your perspectives on that brought me round to thinking perhaps I shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater and give up quite so easily, so I won’t. I’ll keep dipping in, in the hope that I’ll get the hang of it.

One of the other groupings she talked about was social wellness. Now that’s an area where I have a little bit more potential I think…I might not always choose to be sociable, but when I do, I can do sociable very well. Maybe not quite so well as I used to, I’m less inclined to surround myself with people these days – I value my solitude a lot of the time. But people still fascinate me, albeit more often than not these days on my terms!

Her first suggestion was to connect with someone who’s positive inspiring & encouraging – well would you look at that. That’s what we all do, every day. Our posse…we connect, we chat…some of you comment, some of the more shy voices amongst you choose instead to email me with your thoughts, and we have a bunch of folk in the posse who love to read and just take it all in, and join in the debate on a cerebral level only…but there’s such a groundswell of positivity, encouragement and sharing going on from which we collectively draw inspiration, you’re all amazing. So gang, we’ve totally got that one down!

Her next suggestion was to visit with your neighbour. I’m a bit less keen on that one, for a couple of reasons. Maybe it should come with a caveat, in terms of it depends who your neighbour is? For example, my nearest neighbours own a Chinese Takeaway. And they are lovely people but damn, it smells so good in there. I don’t use it very often to be fair, but it’s near impossible to leave without a bag full of food and that can’t be good for my diet, right?

During the day when they’re not open, they seem to shout at each other a lot, in very excitable voices, and the one time I knocked at the door during the day to collect a parcel they’d taken in for me, it was answered by a very small man holding a very large chopper, which did alarm me a bit. Maybe I’ll settle for waving when I pull onto my drive, does that count do you think?

I did love her next suggestion, which was to send a note in the post to a family member of friend. I’m an old fashioned girl at heart, and I love the idea of getting a letter, or a card. Cue all my friends falling over and yelling at the computer that I’ve never remembered a birthday in my life, and yeah ok, you got me…I’m crap at that. I’m a bit better now Facebook reminds me 🙂 but there’s still room for improvement. But a card to say thank you, or you mean the world to me, or just a note to say I thought about you today…that’s right up my alley.

Do any of you use the app ‘By Post’? That’s something I use all the time with my mum, especially when I’m away working, or on holiday. You take a picture on your phone, and the app turns it into a postcard and delivers it pretty much the next day – mum loves it, and you know what, I’m going to use it more…just thinking about the possibilities is making me smile.

Her last two suggestions in the social bucket were to plan a fun night out with friends – happening tomorrow evening, yey – and to snuggle with your love. I’ve got that one down too. I guess technically she didn’t have a four legged fur baby in mind when she penned the list but hey, despite his propensity for damaging the ozone layer, he’s the chosen one that I curl up with every night, and he gives the best hugs in the world.

My social wellness bucket feels quite full…how lucky am I 🙂

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